


Thy Kingdom Come

by puszysty



Series: Cylon!Felix [5]
Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-10
Updated: 2010-10-10
Packaged: 2017-10-12 14:21:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 50,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/125771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puszysty/pseuds/puszysty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felix is no longer a prisoner, but he's not exactly welcome in the fleet.  With freedom comes new challenges, some of which Felix woud have never expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to lls_mutant for the beta. Written for bsg_bigbang.
> 
> Art for this story is here: http://geekbynight.livejournal.com/136756.html

"How's my favorite bagel making appliance on this lovely afternoon?" Louis asked as he entered the room.

It had been five weeks since Felix was released from his cell and recommissioned as an officer in the Colonial Fleet. He'd been assigned as first reserve officer in the CIC, and had taken up quarters with Sharon and Helo. Things weren't ideal, but he was no longer a prisoner, and was even in some respects acknowledged as a human being, or at least as close as he was ever going to get to being one. Plus, he had a nice boyfriend.

Felix rolled his eyes at him. "Did you get the liquor?"

"Lucky for you." Louis sat down on the floor next to him. "You sure we should be drinking on an empty stomach?"

"We'll be fine," said Felix. He eyed the bottle Louis had brought him. "Ambrosia? How'd you manage the good stuff?"

"I did some bartering and got Joe that pool table he wanted." Louis took the bottle from him, twisted the cap open, and handed it back to Felix. "You know, it's too bad you can't actually make bagels. I could really go for one right about now."

"Technically, toasters don't make bagels either. They just brown them," said Felix, taking a swig of the ambrosia. It burned in his throat, the way a good ambrosia should. He licked his lips.

"Guess you're right," said Louis. "But I'm still hungry." Shortly after Felix was released from the cell, something in the food processing center had gotten contaminated, leaving the fleet without a food supply. It wasn't exactly the sort of "welcome back" celebration Felix had been hoping for.

"You sure that planet has algae?" Louis asked.

"Well, all signs point to it. The planet's only been able to sustain life for a few million years, which means algae is as high in the evolutionary chain as we're going to see there. There's no guarantee, but it's worth a shot."

Louis sighed. Felix passed him the bottle of ambrosia. "What do you say we hit up Joe's after hours tonight, and we can use that pool table you scored for him?" asked Felix.

"Sure," said Louis noncommittally. "I just wish I could actually take you while it was open."

"Yeah," replied Felix. "Me too." Despite his official status as just another officer, Felix hadn't exactly been welcomed with open arms by the rest of the crew, which was precisely why he had moved in with Sharon and Helo. It was one thing to share the CIC with a cylon, quite another to share racks with one. That had been made clear pretty quickly. So Felix slept here, on the floor. It wasn't great, but Felix wasn't complaining. It beat the hell out of a prison cell.

"By the way," said Louis, taking another swig of ambrosia. "I hope you like to lose, because I intend on kicking your ass at pool."

"You wish."

***

Forty-five minutes before the first of five jumps through the star cluster and the CIC was aflutter with activity. It was always better when they were busy, not just because people were less likely to be glaring at him, but because Felix liked feeling productive. He always had, even before the destruction of the colonies, when busy was just not a word one would use to describe _Galactica_. He'd made it his mission, back then, to _find_ things to do, sometimes even ranging into the absurd, just so he could stay on his feet. He never thought he would, but sometimes Felix missed those days. Days when they weren't all living on the run. Days when he didn't know he was a cylon.

"So once we make the jump here, we'll -" Felix was interrupted in his last minute navigational explanation to Louis by a sudden eerie silence in the CIC. The last time such a dead calm had come over the CIC was when Admiral Adama ordered a network to be set up, but no one had suggested anything of the sort just now. Today's mission was practically by the book.

Then, someone began clapping.

Felix looked up at the hatch door. "Oh frak," he muttered to himself. This was the last thing he needed.

The clapping grew louder as Colonel Tigh descended the stairs. Louis was clapping too, even though, or perhaps because, he'd never had to serve under Colonel Tigh. Felix just glared. "Enough!" Tigh barked. "Don't you people have jobs to do?"

Colonel Tigh arrived on the CIC floor and glared at Felix even more harshly than Felix was glaring at him. But he said nothing. That alone was enough to tell Felix that Admiral Adama had already spoken with Tigh.

"Colonel," Adama greeted, diverting Tigh's attention momentarily away from Felix.

"Admiral," Tigh responded.

Dee gave Felix a quick look of sympathy, then, instead of letting the Colonel say anything more, launched right into mission communication. "Apollo, Galactica. Launch raptors on your orders." Felix breathed a sigh of relief. With all of them busy for the next few hours, Tigh would be too focused, or at least too busy, to say anything that might start a brawl. Felix was safe, at least for now. "Thank you," he mouthed to Dee.

One trip through the star cluster later and the aura in CIC was much lighter, with one very notable exception. The first successful trip allowed everyone to breathe a little easier, which unfortunately allowed Colonel Tigh the chance to look around. "Don't celebrate yet," he barked at the CIC, "we've still got four more jumps to go."

He turned to Louis, pointedly ignoring Felix. "Mr. Hoshi."

"Aye, Sir?" replied Louis.

"Begin preparations for the jump back."

Felix was grateful Admiral Adama has assigned him to DRADIS for this mission. DRADIS had always been the station Felix felt most comfortable at, and more importantly, it faced away from the center of the CIC. Even so, he could still feel the cold, harsh attitude of Colonel Tigh behind him.

"Relax, Felix," Louis came and whispered in his ear when the jump checklist was complete. "He's not concerned with you right now." Felix hoped that were the case. He just wasn't sure he believed it.

Nine more jumps ran by, with Colonel Tigh not speaking to, looking at, or in any way acknowledging Felix. Felix wanted to breathe a sigh of relief, but he knew once this mission was over, their confrontation wouldn't be far off. He hoped for something easy, like a swift punch to the face.

"Mr. Gaeta," said the Admiral.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Get into your BDUs and report to the hangar deck. You'll be part of the first crew down on that planet, since you can operate on less fuel than the rest of us. Apollo will be leading the expedition, you'll report to him in fifteen. Understood lieutenant?"

"Yes, Sir," Felix responded. He didn't mention that he'd gone longer without food than the rest of the crew, as he'd been passing off his rations to Louis and Dee. He was glad to be staying away from Tigh for now. He had a feeling that was the Admiral's real intention.

***

After the first week planetside, Felix wasn't so sure that being assigned to work with civilians on a regular basis was such a good idea. Most of the military didn't like him, but at least they were getting used to his presence. The civilians were another story. It was like being imprisoned or worse, like New Caprica again, with the cold stares and the eerie feeling that someone was going to knife him if they got the chance. From what he could gather from the murmurs, they didn't even like the idea of having Sharon in the fleet. Captain Adama had already had to send one civilian back on account of attacking Felix after Felix had bumped into the guy accidentally.

Things didn't get any easier the second week. But at least he wasn't the only one having a miserable time down there.

"Dee would you quit glaring?" asked Felix.

"I'm not glaring," said Dee, eyes fixed on Lee. She was glaring.

"Frak him, he's not worth your time."

"He's my husband," said Dee.

"That's why they invented divorce," countered Felix. "You and I and everyone on this planet knows what he's doing. He's already left you, even if he won't admit to it directly. Why don't you just leave him and save yourself the heartache?"

"I'm not getting a divorce Felix. Just, stay out of it, okay?" Dee tossed her gloves down onto the table angrily.

"I'm a lot stronger than he is, you know," hinted Felix.

"I said stay out of it." Dee stormed off, her eyes never leaving Lee, who was on a call, more than likely with Kara Thrace. Felix had never been fond of Starbuck, especially since she had beaten him to a pulp in his cell, but the idea of her tearing Dee to pieces made Felix even more incensed than what she had done to him. At least he'd deserved his punishment.

Felix looked over at Sam Anders, who was busy working, or at least should have been. He was glaring angrily at Lee too. Only, he looked more likely to take out his frustration.

It was probably wrong of him, but Felix wondered if he should get a bet pool going.

Not more than ten minutes later, Chief Tyrol came running down the hill, faster than Felix had ever seen the man run before.

"Guys," he said, panting with every breath. "You've gotta check this out."

"What you'd find Chief?" asked Lee.

"I can't say for sure," replied Tyrol. "But I think it might be the Temple of Five."

"Temple of Five?" asked Lee. "What the frak is that?"

"The Temple of Five is supposedly a temple built by the thirteenth tribe, during their exodus from Kobol," explained Felix. "It's supposed to be a roadmarker on the way to Earth."

"I thought you weren't religious," Lee sneered.

"I'm not. I'm just well read," replied Felix.

"Well whatever this thing is, let's get up there and take some pictures of it. If it is a roadmarker to Earth, the President's going to want to see it," said Lee. "Chief, take some of your men up there to check the place out. The rest of you stay here until we get confirmation that this is something we're looking for. Maintain efforts to dismantle the base. Alright troops, let's move out!"

An hour passed, then two. Felix would have preferred to have gone with the temple crew, just so he wouldn't have to put up with Lee anymore. From his understanding of what Dee and Louis had told him, Lee had had some strong objections about the Admiral putting Sharon in uniform prior to the exodus from New Caprica. Whatever the circumstances then, it had become clear in the last two weeks that his objections extended towards Felix as well. The fact that Lee was so blantantly cheating on his best friend wasn't helping Felix's level of tolerance any. Lee was currently inside base headquarters talking to Starbuck. Dee and Sam were still casting evil glares at the structure. Felix began seriously considering a cage match.

As Felix was debating how much he could charge for tickets, Lee emerged from the structure. He looked none too pleased. Felix suspected at first that bad news had been relayed from the temple. But as Lee began approaching him, Felix knew that couldn't possibly be the case.

"Lieutenant Gaeta," ordered Lee, still using his title with a mild form of disgust.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Admiral wants you back on _Galactica_. Stat," Lee said.

"He say anything else, Sir?" Felix asked. He'd been down here the whole two weeks, and the only time he'd ever returned to _Galactica_ was to catch his designated R &R.

"Yeah," said Lee. "The cylons just showed up. And they've got Dr. Baltar."


	2. Chapter 2

Dr. Baltar. Felix hadn't seen or heard anything about Dr. Baltar since…well, since the day he left New Caprica, come to think of it. It was almost as though he'd forgotten the doctor existed entirely, it had been so long ago. Perhaps that was because the rest of the fleet simply wanted to forget Dr. Baltar as well. They'd almost succeeded.

"You wanted to see me, Sir?" asked Felix as he reported to the small meeting room. Admiral Adama, Colonel Tigh, and Louis all stood there at ease.

"Four base stars just jumped into orbit." Felix's eyes went wide. Last he knew of, four base stars was a third of the cylon fleet; that wasn't a good sign. "They're not attacking- yet. They're looking to negotiate," reported the Admiral. "They want the Eye of Jupiter."

"If you don't mind my input Sir, I hope you're not seriously considering the offer," said Felix, inwardly shuddering at the notion of the cylons getting their hands on any clues to Earth. Though if they had Dr. Baltar, it may have already been too late for that.

"I'm not," said the Admiral. Felix breathed a sigh of relief. "I need you to take a look at the surrounding star system, see if there's any way for us to mount an attack, in case it comes to that. The last thing I want to do is nuke that temple with our men down there."

"Nuke it, Sir?" asked Felix, perplexed. He'd been there on the Admiral's wild goose chase to find Starbuck when she crashed on the moon. Now he was prepared to blow both Lee and Kara to smithereens?

"Mr. Hoshi," said the Admiral, ignoring Felix's question. "Take Mr. Gaeta to the lab. Report to me what you find."

"Aye, Sir."

Once outside the room, Felix turned to Louis. "The cylons want to _negotiate_?"

"I was in the room when they said it, and I can hardly believe it myself," said Louis.

"And Adama is going to _nuke_ the place?" Felix asked incredulously. "He's got to be bluffing. Did it come across that way to you?"

Louis shrugged. "Admiral Cain wouldn't be bluffing. She'd nuke that planet without a second's thought, if she believed it'd keep us one step ahead of the cylons."

"Yeah,"said Felix, "but Admiral Adama is _not_ Admiral Cain. In case you haven't picked up on that."

"I noticed, thanks," replied Louis. "If we can find a good position though, the planet won't be where we're aiming those nukes. And don't tell me you wouldn't look forward to that."

Felix grinned. "Oh I would. I think I'd enjoy it quite a bit."

***

Felix blinked and looked at the screen again. "Well that's…weird. Louis, would you mind getting the Admiral?"

"I would, if you mind telling me what you're seeing," said Louis, peering over his shoulder.

"I'll tell you when you come back. Just…go get him."

***

"I noticed some anamolies in the solar radiation belt. I did an analysis of the star's vibration levels," said Felix, his eyes still running over the screen in awe. "Sure enough, it appears to be highly unstable. If you can believe it, on the verge of going supernova."

"When?" asked the Admiral. President Roslin had arrived with him, and she appeared just as interested.

"Could be tomorrow. Could be next year. There's no way of knowing for sure, Sir," explained Felix. "When it does happen, the only warning that we're likely to get is a fast helium flash, at which point, we'll have to jump out of here before it obliterates the entire planetary system."

"Frak," muttered Louis.

"My thoughts exactly," said Felix.

"Can you imagine?" President Roslin chimed in. "The odds of the humans and cylons converging at this very spot-"

"They probably tracked us here, Madame President," said Felix. "But it doesn't matter. If we don't get that Eye and get out of here _now_ , this ship could be disintegrated in a second."

"Leaving the fleet with no chance of finding Earth," said Roslin. "Admiral, I hope your men can work quickly."

***

The mood in the CIC was tense. The longer they stayed and waited for the troops on the ground to return, the greater danger they put themselves in. And that wasn't even counting the four base ships in orbit nearby.

The DRADIS screen beeped with a new detection. "Just picked up six heavy raiders heading away from the cylon fleet," reported Colonel Tigh. "Definitely heading down toward the planet."

"I don't get it," said President Roslin. "They'd have to know we see them." _True,_ thought Felix. _But they're cylons, they don't give a frak._

"They're testing us," replied Colonel Tigh. "Wanna know if we're bluffing about nuking the planet."

"Fortunately we are bluffing," said Roslin.

"Are we?" said the Admiral. It was more of a statement than a question. "Mr. Hoshi," he ordered.

"Aye, Sir," replied Louis from the comm station. Normally the reserve officer would be at Dee's station when she was off ship, but in this case, Adama had put Louis there and placed Felix on tactical. Apparently the Admiral didn't think it was a good idea to have a cylon broadcasting orders to the civilian fleet. Felix didn't blame him.

"Order nuclear ground strike missiles into launch tubes for through ten." Felix's face went pale. He was serious.

"Aye, Sir. This is a nuclear mission order." Louis seemed to draw out the last three words. For all this talk of how this would have transpired on the _Pegasus_ , he seemed nervous.

Felix checked the lights on his board, then double checked to be sure. "Missiles are loaded, Admiral."

"Open launch tube doors."

Felix flipped the switches to the corresponding launch tubes. "Doors are open, Admiral."

"What are you doing?" Roslin asked suspiciously.

"Getting ready to nuke the planet," stated Admiral Adama. As if it was just that simple. "Load target package three Bravo," he ordered, his eyes not leaving the DRADIS screen. "Set ground zero to the underground structure."

"Are we prepared to sacrifice Lee?" asked President Roslin. Everyone in the room had been thinking it. She was merely the first to ask.

Admiral Adama ignored her question. "Release of nuclear weapons is now authorized."

"Sir," said Colonel Tigh. It was more of a question than a statement.

A long, heavy pause permeated the room.

"Mr. Gaeta," said the Admiral. "Disable warhead safeties on launch tubes 4 through 10."

Felix nervously flipped the switches. "Safeties disabled. Warheads are on."

"XO," continued the Admiral, directing his attention to Colonel Tigh. "Please input your firing code."

Felix watched as Colonel Tigh opened the code box. He entered the numbers as ordered, but he looked none too happy about it. "These nukes will obliterate anything or anyone within twenty clicks of the temple."

"I know," said the Admiral. "Key."

Colonel Tigh grabbed the nuclear weapons key, just hesitantly enough for Felix to notice. "Standing by."

"Launch sequence set to auto," reported Felix. As if it needed to be said. Everyone in the room knew what the turning of that key meant. And they knew there'd be little chance of turning back now.

"Fire on my mark."

Felix turned towards his DRADIS screen. For all the violence he'd seen on New Caprica, he couldn't endure this. Colonel Tigh ordering to fire on his own men was one thing. Admiral Adama was another.

Felix tried to keep himself from biting his nails, as he willed something to happen on DRADIS. One second, two, three. Then something did. "Sir. The raiders are turning back."

Felix spun around in his chair, facing the Admiral looking for an order. "Not all of them," said Adama.

Felix turned back to DRADIS. "Correction, five turned back. One is still on route back to the planet." He hoped Adama wouldn't fire the nukes for just one ship. They'd be better off blowing the raider out of the sky and making a run for it.

"Weapons are still hot," reported Tigh.

"Safehold missiles. Close out our doors," ordered the Admiral. A collective sigh of relief emanated from within the CIC. Felix felt he could breathe again.

Once Felix had composed himself, he still felt the need for some fresh air. The mood remained tense in the CIC: no one besides himself had returned from the planet, and there was no word on whether they had found the Eye of Jupiter. But there was nothing any of them standing there could do. Short breaks were being authorized for select numbers of crew while they waited.

Felix stood up from his station and approached the Admiral. President Roslin was eyeing him cautiously, but for some reason, Colonel Tigh wasn't. "Sir," he greeted the Admiral. "Permission to take five."

"Granted," Adama replied.

His quarters- Sharon and Helo's quarters, to be more specific- weren't too far away, so rather than try to relax in the surely crowded head, Felix decided to head there to sit down for a minute. If he was lucky, Sharon and Helo would be gone, so he could flop down on the bed instead of being confined to a chair.

He'd just about made it when he heard what sounded like a gunshot go off. Felix didn't know who would be shooting there, and at what.

Then he heard Helo scream.


	3. Chapter 3

The blood was all over the wall. Felix spotted the limp body of Sharon in Helo's arms. Helo didn't even notice him come in.

"Helo!" Felix shouted frantically. "What the frak happened?"

"It was the only way," said Helo, head hung, looking into the eyes of his dead wife.

"Only way for what?" Felix asked, wondering what could possibly have merited murder between the two of them.

"To get our daughter back."

Hera? Hera was alive? How? And how had they found out? When had they found out?

Felix thought for a moment. The cylons had come to negotiate. Which meant they had been on this ship. That was how Sharon and Helo had found out. But how would the cylons have gotten their hands on a child that had supposedly died two years ago? Those frakkers. Felix hoped for Helo and Sharon's sake that they hadn't just been playing mind games.

Felix walked up to Helo, still holding Sharon in his arms. Felix couldn't even look at her. He helped Helo set her on the ground, which was when he noticed the blood on Helo's uniform. It was darkest on Helo's hands- the way he'd been holding her, his hands covered the exit wound. It hadn't even phased Helo.

Felix went to phone the Admiral. Brass needed to know, just so someone could get the body out of there. As he hung up the phone, he noticed it was covered in a bloody handprint. His bloody handprint. Felix had never seen so much blood in his life. He'd killed cylons on New Caprica, a lot of cylons, but only face to face once, and he'd been too blinded by rage on that ocassion to take note of the aftermath. Seeing it like this was something else entirely.

Helo sat down on a chair. He stiffened up, eyes solidly on the door, Sharon's body at his feet. Felix couldn't handle it. He had no idea how Helo did. Felix left the room abruptly and stood outside waiting for the Admiral to show up, trying not to think about what he just saw and how frakked up the whole situation was.

***

They'd wheeled Sharon's body away in a body bag. Felix was glad he didn't have to see the blood all over again, but it was already too late to erase it all. All he had to do was look down at his hands for the reminder. He could hear the Admiral and the President inside chastising Helo. Felix couldn't bring himself to stay. He'd talk to Helo later, perhaps, if Helo felt like talking. If Felix felt like talking. But not now.

Felix reentered the CIC, where things had remained unchanged. What had only been a few minutes to the people in this room had felt like hours to him.

"Nice of you to rejoin us Lieutenant," Colonel Tigh said sardonically. Felix didn't give the comment second thought. Instead, he headed straight to his station.

Louis came down to check on him. "Where have you been?" he asked. "You were supposed to be gone five minutes, it's been twenty." Was that all it had been?

"Something came up," said Felix, willing Louis to go back to his station and leave him be.

Louis didn't leave. "Are you okay?" he asked after a brief pause.

"I'll be fine," replied Felix, his back to Louis as he stared at the DRADIS screen. "She'll be back."

There was another brief pause, then the sound of Louis' boots trailing off behind him. Louis would find out about it later from someone, Felix was sure.

Felix heard the CIC hatch open, then the unmistakable clack of heels enter the room. The Admiral and the President were back. Felix didn't dare turn and look at them.

"What was the emergency?" he heard Colonel Tigh ask.

"I'll tell you later," said Adama. Felix looked over his shoulder to see what sort of expression the Admiral was wearing. His face was stone cold. The President looked none too pleased.

No more than five minutes later, a flash of movement caught Felix's eye. Louis was running down to the CIC floor. Felix wondered if they'd finally gotten word from the ground. "Picking up a massive energy pulse from the central star," said Louis.

That snapped Felix out of his trance. Sharon was a cylon, she'd be back. But if that star exploded, nobody else would be. Felix checked the readings on a nearby screen. "Sir, it's a helium flash, the star's going nova."

"Nova's gonna obliterate the entire planet in less than an hour," stated the Admiral. Felix didn't know how he could possibly be so calm.

Felix checked the DRADIS screen again. Still no sign of their ships on the ground. If those ships didn't move now, there was a good chance they'd be gone forever. _Dee_ was still down there. A few markers disappeared from the DRADIS screen. "Admiral, the cylon fleet just jumped away."

"They don't wanna be here when that nova shock front gets here, and neither do we," said Colonel Tigh.

"Launch rescue mission now," the Admiral ordered. Felix didn't want to point out that it may have been too late for that already. Doing so would mean giving up on Dee, and having seen Sharon killed today, Felix didn't want to lose any more friends.

"We don't have much time before the nova fries everything in the system," reported Felix, as he jumped away from the DRADIS station and off to another. He checked the helium levels again to make a quick gauge on time- too little- before darting off again. As soon as those birds docked, the ship would need to jump. That meant prep began now. Instinctively, Felix began running through the steps and checking go stations.

"It's gonna be a photo finish," said Tigh.

 _You can say that again_ , thought Felix.

***

'Too long. Dammit they're taking too long,' thought Felix frantically. The ship was ready. All stations were go. The only thing they needed was the confirmation of success, then they'd be out of there. But it was taking too long in Felix's opinion. Tigh was right when he said it'd be a photo finish. It might be even be closer than that.

"All rescue ships from the planet accounted for," reported Louis, finally. The flares hadn't hit them yet, but it was still too close for Felix's liking. Supernovas were not something to be frakked around with.

"Count us down," ordered the Admiral, to no one in particular.

"Commence FTL," Felix relayed to jump support.

"Commencing FTL," the station reported back to him. Go time.

Felix began counting. "Three. Two. One." Jump.

The shrinking feeling, then the jolt. A split second, then they were out on the other side. "Report," ordered the Admiral. They'd made it safely. The fleet was already waiting for them.

Once Felix felt he was able to breathe again, it dawned on him: this was the first time he'd jumped the ship since before New Caprica. It had been almost two years, and yet it still came so naturally to him. What was more, no one in the CIC seemed to question him when he'd taken over the command. Like it was natural to _them_ too. Felix had been in the CIC for weeks, but he'd simply been on the sidelines up until this moment. Now he was a tactical officer again.

The report came up from Tigh that all of the ground personnel, minus a few casualties, had made it back safely. Additionally, Sharon had made it back to the ship, two-year-old in tow. It seemed, came the report from Tigh, that she had also brought a "friend." _Galactica_ now had yet another cylon prisoner.


	4. Chapter 4

Felix, Admiral Adama, Colonel Tigh, President Roslin, Helo, and Chief Tyrol all stood together around a table in the lab. Felix was dying to know who Sharon had brought back with her, even if he didn't know what he would say to whoever it was, but he'd been ordered to the lab for research once the words "Eye of Jupiter" made their way up to the CIC. The scriptures said it was a sign pointing to Earth, which Felix wasn't sure he believed, but he liked working in the lab, so he wasn't going to complain. The cylon in the cell surely wasn't going anywhere; no one knew that better than him.

"I think the Chief is right," said the Admiral, reflecting on what Tyrol had reported when he'd arrived back on _Galactica_. "I think the nova does look like the mandala inside this temple."

"Do you think the thirteenth tribe had a vision of what was to come?" asked Roslin. Felix wanted to shake his head. He liked Roslin; she was usually such a sensible, no-balls-about-it woman, but he just couldn't reconcile the visions with the rest of her. Visions, commands from higher powers, were usually for the weak-minded. Like cylons, for instance.

"I don't know what else it could mean," said the Chief, scratching his head.

"Maybe they saw another nova and drew a picture of that. You've seen one nova you've seen them all," said Colonel Tigh. Felix snickered. As if the Colonel saw supernovas up close on a regular basis. The Admiral had heard him, and gave him a look that said "get serious." Felix felt a bit sheepish for a moment. He was on the Admiral's good side now, but it wasn't a solid good side.

Felix pulled out the star chart he'd been working on since he'd gotten the order to look for any sort of clues about the meaning of the supernova. It had shocked him to see what he found on the chart, but the coincidence was downright eerie. Felix laid the chart on the table in front of the group. "Well, there was another nova. Seen 4,000 years ago, round about when the temple might have been built. It's 13,000 light years from our present position. It's a cloud of gas known as the Ionian Nebula."

"Maybe it was a road sign," said the Admiral, "showing the direction that they headed to next." Felix had never been so sure about Earth. But his belief in coincidence only went so far, and it all seemed too complicated to just be random. Maybe there really was a thirteenth tribe, and maybe they really had found Earth. Or at least tried to.

***

The next day, Felix decided to see who it was that had come back with Sharon. Felix wasn't sure how he'd react. Would he want to take out his aggression on them, the way Tigh and Starbuck had with him? Would he feel nothing at all? Something else he wasn't anticipating?

Felix opened the outer hatch door cautiously. The cylon was sitting down, so he couldn't see her entirely, but the bleach blond hair was unmistakable. Once he got closer and was able to see her face, he stopped. He recognized her instantly. This wasn't just any Six. This was Gaius' Six.

Felix picked up the phone, and motioned her over to do the same. "Six," he said, greeting her. "Do you have a name you'd rather I call you by?" It felt strange calling her by a number, even though she was cylon. There was something in the look on her face that told him her allegiance no longer lie with the cylons. It didn't appear to be like the way he and Sharon had changed their minds; it just seemed as if she wanted something different.

"Caprica," she answered.

"I thought you didn't like being called Caprica?" Felix asked, recalling that brief conversation on _Colonial One_.

"Gaius calls me Caprica." She was still in love with him. Felix immediately felt sorry for her.

"Did you see him while you were on the basestar?" Felix asked. He wasn't sure if she would have wanted to be with him, in love or not. She had seemed so disenchanted with him by the end on New Caprica. Not that he blamed her.

"He lived with me," she explained. "And a Three," she added dejectedly.

"Oh," said Felix. That would explain why she looked ready to trade in her old life.

"How are they to prisoners here?" Caprica asked.

Felix wasn't entirely sure how to respond to that. Surely she wasn't looking for the full story of Felix's life for the past few months. But he'd gone through so much that he wasn't sure a simple answer was possible. Felix looked down to contemplate his reply. It was then he noticed what he had on: his uniform. There was his answer.

"As long as your allegiance is with us? You'll be fine."

***

Felix couldn't sleep. He'd been fine the night before, even with a toddler now sharing the small room as well, but tonight he couldn't seem to block it out. The wall had been cleaned, but when he looked at it, all Felix could see was the fresh blood spattered all over it. The fact that Sharon was asleep on the bed nearby didn't seem to ease his mind any. When it had happened, Felix thought he was unnerved because he'd seen Sharon die. Now, as he lie awake, he realized he'd been unnerved because he knew she'd be coming back. Somewhere along the line, he'd stopped thinking of Sharon as a cylon. She'd become just another human to him, and the harsh wake-up call otherwise had rocked him. He didn't like the reminder that she was something different. He didn't like the reminder that _he_ was something different.

Felix tossed back the covers and stood up from his mattress on the floor. He wouldn't be able to sleep here. Careful not to wake Hera, he opened the hatch and slipped out of the room.

Felix's path led him to officers' quarters. He would need to sneak out before reveille, but tonight he'd stay there. It would probably be the only time he would sleep in his old quarters ever again.

Felix opened the hatch to his old bunkroom and crept inside. He quietly made his way to Louis' bunk- it was easy to find, as it used to be his.

Felix pulled back the curtain just enough to see that Louis was asleep.

"Louis," Felix whispered, poking him. Louis snored.

Felix prodded him again, but Louis didn't budge. It was clear he wasn't going to wake up. Felix wasn't sure if he should be doing this- they'd never slept together before- but Felix really, really didn't want to be alone tonight. He was sure Louis wouldn't mind.

Felix pulled back the curtain a little further, removed his boots, and slipped into the rack with him. Wedging himself between Louis and the wall, Felix pulled the curtain closed again, wrapped his arm around Louis, and lay his head on his shoulder. He didn't have any trouble sleeping the rest of the night.

***

Louis' alarm clock blared. Felix kept his eyes closed, not wanting to get up just yet. He heard Louis groan, then felt Louis shift underneath him.

"Felix? What are you doing here?" Louis asked, the sleep evident in his voice.

"Couldn't sleep," Felix mumbled.

"Because of what happened the other day?" he asked. As Felix had predicted, word had gotten around the ship pretty fast.

"Mm hm," replied Felix.

"She came back," said Louis simply.

"I know," said Felix. He knew he had to leave, get out of there before anyone else woke up, but he didn't want to move. Without the relative privacy of his old cell, this might have been the only chance he would get to talk to Louis about Sharon for a while. He hated to say that he had liked something about being locked up, but the ability to be alone easily was something he missed.

Louis ran his fingers through Felix's hair. "It's alright. I don't think she'll be doing it again anytime soon." That was certainly true. "And you know that what you are doesn't matter at all to me." Felix knew. Louis had already told him more than once. But it was nice hearing it. "Now get off, you're squishing me."

Felix finally rolled over and let Louis out of his rack. He should probably leave as well. They'd see each other on shift shortly. "Thanks," he said. "For letting me stay."

"Anytime you need to, baby. My bed is always open," replied Louis.

A grin spread across Felix's face. He wiggled his eyebrows at Louis. "Is that an invitation?"

Louis picked up his pillow and threw it at him.


	5. Chapter 5

"So do you know her?" Louis asked, later that evening while eating dinner.

"Know who?" Felix asked. He looked down at the glop on his plate in disgust. He was really going to need to figure out if he could turn off his sense of taste. Especially if this was the only thing they had to eat until they found Earth.

"The cylon in the brig," said Louis. He added more pepper to his algae, not that it was going to help.

"Sort of. We worked together on New Caprica."

"Worked together as in she was in on the resistance or what?" asked Louis curiously.

"No. She worked on _Colonial One_." Worked was probably the wrong word, but Felix wasn't in the mood to elaborate.

"Can we trust her?" Louis asked. "I heard she helped Sharon get off the baseship, but I don't know that that's enough. Not to pass judgment on cylons, but…"

"No, I get it," said Felix. "Judge away. As for her, I can't say for sure right now, but…maybe? She's not like most cylons, but she's not like me either."

"Funny how we seem to be collecting cylons around here," Louis said, smiling.

"Looks like there's hope for us yet," Felix replied.

***

Leaving the dining hall, Felix thought more about what Louis had asked. In truth, Felix didn't have the slightest idea of who Caprica would swear her allegiance to, if anyone. He didn't know her. He'd never made the effort to get to know her, even though they'd seen each other on a daily basis back on New Caprica. Well, he was going to now. He told himself it was for the good of the fleet, that the Admiral would need to know if she was trustworthy, but if he was honest, he was simply curious. Rather than write her off as a machine, he was going to find out who she was. Felix realized he was okay with that.

Felix tapped on the glass, getting Caprica's attention. She seemed to get the point, and came to pick up the phone to talk to him.

"Felix," she greeted him. "Should you be down here?"

Felix shrugged. "Sharon came to visit me when I was down here. I know how lonely it gets, I thought you could use the company."

"Thank you," she said softly.

"So um," started Felix, not sure just how to start this conversation. He was never very good at small talk. "How are you?"

"Fine," replied Caprica.

"They're treating you okay? Nobody's been down here to…with the wrong intentions?" asked Felix.

"No. It's been fine. Nobody's been down here but the guards." Apparently she wasn't much for small talk either.

"Caprica." It still seemed odd to him to use that name. It didn't feel right somehow. "Why did you come here? Why did you choose us over the cylons?"

Caprica didn't meet his eyes. "It wasn't a choice really. I just…came."

It wasn't what Felix had hoped to hear. He wanted a definitive answer, something that would let him know he could trust her. Even though something in him felt he could already. "Do you regret it?" he asked.

"I've only been here two days," she said. Felix couldn't tell if she was avoiding the question or simply wasn't sure what she felt.

"What about Hera?" Felix asked. "I'd think the cylons would want to keep her, considering their-" obsession was the word he wanted, but he thought better of it, just in case Caprica was that way too. "Well, considering."

"A child shouldn't be away from its mother," said Caprica. Felix knew there was something more to that statement. Perhaps she'd spent some considerable time with Hera. But it was clear she wasn't going to elaborate now, so Felix left it at that. He got the strong feeling that Caprica would open up to him when she was ready. She just wasn't ready yet. Felix was willing to wait until she was.

"Hey um," said Felix. "I should be going. But I'll be back. I'll see you around okay?"

"Okay," she said. Felix was about to hang up the phone when she added, "thank you."

***

The next day, the Admiral called Felix for a private meeting in his quarters. "You wanted to see me, Sir?" Felix asked as he reported to Admiral Adama. He had a strong feeling this might be about Caprica.

"Have a seat, Mr. Gaeta," the Admiral directed. Felix sat down in a chair in front of the Admiral's desk. "I have a special assignment for you. Top secret."

"Sir?" Felix asked. The words piqued his interest. Top secret assignments were always the most exciting.

"We have a prisoner we need to interrogate. We believe you're the most likely person to get answers," said Adama.

"I'd be happy to talk to the cylon in the brig for you, Sir," replied Felix, the irony of the situation coming to mind.

"I'm not concerned with the cylon." Felix froze. That could only mean one thing. It certainly explained why the Admiral and whoever else wanted this top secret. Gaius Baltar was back.

"Be in the brig at 1600 hours," Adama ordered.

"Yes, Sir," replied Felix, wondering just what it was he was getting himself into.

***

Dr. Baltar looked awful. He was unshaven, dirty, and generally miserable looking. The word "pathetic" came to mind. This was not the same man as he had been when the cylons attacked, and not even the same man that he had been a year ago. Programmed or not, Felix could not see himself smitten with a man like this.

Baltar was tying strands of cloth torn from his shirt together. A few steps closer and Felix could see he was tying a noose. Felix stepped into the cell and grabbed it from him.

Gaius looked up at him. "It's not that easy," Felix said to him.

"Isn't it, Mr. Gaeta?" Gaius asked. "They're just going to airlock me anyway, I thought I'd save them the trouble."

Felix sat down across from Dr. Baltar at the small table they'd set up for him. He placed a piece of paper on the table, for the notes he'd be taking during the interrogation. There was a camera overhead, relaying feed to the Admiral. However, they didn't want Gaius to know he was being watched. Felix imagined Dr. Baltar still had a knack for playing to the cameras.

Felix tapped his pen on the table. "You're not looking to die. You just don't want to face your accusers. I promise you Gaius, the answer you're looking for doesn't lie in escape, but absolution."

"Absolution?" asked Gaius. "Exactly what do you know about absolution, Mr. Gaeta?"

"That it's a long process. That it isn't easy. That it's completely worth it," said Felix.

"Yes, well," responded Gaius. "At least you were given a chance for absolution. I don't think I'll be afforded that luxury."

Felix took a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and offered one to Gaius. He figured the more casual he made this, the more likely it would appear that this was just a talk between the two of them instead of an actual interrogation. Gaius took a cigarette, and Felix lit it for him. Felix didn't feel like smoking himself. He wasn't that nervous just yet.

"So Mr. Gaeta," said Gaius in his trademark suave drawl. "How is it, back on this ship?"

Felix was starting to feel a little nervous now. He and Gaius might have made amends with each other, but he didn't feel quite ready to make casual conversation with the man. "Not bad, I suppose," said Felix. "It could be worse."

"They just let you back in the fleet, did they?" asked Gaius, taking a long drag of his cigarette.

"Not exactly," mumbled Felix.

"So what exactly are you doing here, Mr. Gaeta?" asked Gaius. "Surely you didn't come to make small talk. I don't suppose you came to interrogate me?"

"Gaius-"

"I'm not stupid Mr. Gaeta, I know why you're here." So much for trying to be discreet. "Exactly what do you plan to get out of me that you don't already know?"

"It isn't about what I know," said Felix, getting a bit irked. "It's about answering for your sins."

The sudden expression on Gaius' face was one Felix recognized immediately. He'd switched into defensive mode. "Exactly what sins do I have to answer for?"

Felix leaned forward on the table, hoping Gaius would get the point. "Sooner or later," he said, borrowing the words from Adama on the day the cylons attacked, "the day comes when you can't hide from the things that you've done anymore."

Gaius snuffed the cigarette out on the table top. "Is that so, Mr. Gaeta? Is that why you're wearing that uniform? Do they know about the things _you've_ done?"

Felix suddenly felt himself get angry. Baltar was deflecting, trying to place the blame on Felix. Maybe he was guilty of the original crime, but he sure as hell never signed any death lists. And he _had_ faced up to the things he'd done, even if it had been secretly. Baltar's strategy now told Felix this man hadn't. What had Baltar done with the second chance Felix had given him? How dare Gaius accuse him?

"Have you told anyone about _your_ part on New Caprica, Number Seven?" That was it. Felix had had enough. He knew Baltar wasn't going to stop, and it infuriated him. So instead of listening to any more, he knocked over the table and stabbed Baltar with the pen he'd been holding.

He didn't remember that the Admiral had been watching until he felt Adama's fist connect with his face.

***

Louis came to visit him in the brig. "What, did you miss it down here already?"

"Shut the frak up, Louis." Felix wasn't in the mood for joking.

"Well, thanks to you, all of _Galactica_ now knows that Gaius Baltar is on board. And that you stabbed him in the neck with a pen," said Louis.

"Yeah? And what are they saying?" Felix asked.

"That they're sorry you missed his jugular. What the frak were you thinking?" asked Louis, now looking a bit peeved.

"I wasn't. Baltar started saying things about me, and I just lost it," Felix confessed.

"And you believe that man's lies?" Louis asked.

"They weren't lies," said Felix with a sigh. "That was the problem."

The look on Louis' face changed from peeved to concern. "What did he say?"

Felix's eyes met the floor, unable to look Louis in the eye. His boyfriend touted him as a hero, but Felix had never bothered to tell him about his transgressions. "He asked if I'd told anyone about my part on New Caprica. And the truth is, I haven't. New Caprica was my fault. I was programmed to put and keep Baltar in power, so the cylons could easily take over when they arrived. If it hadn't been for me, none of it ever would have happened. I tried to make things right by helping the Resistance, but I never told anyone that I'd gotten them there in the first place."

"But," said Louis. "You didn't know about it, right? You told me you were a sleeper agent."

"I was," replied Felix. "But so was Boomer. You know how that turned out."

"Felix, I-" Felix looked at Louis again, to see his expression. His head was leaned against the cell door, his hands gripping the bars. Sorrowful, that was what it looked like now. "I wish I knew how to help you." Damn him for being so understanding.

"Just let me tell the Admiral myself, okay?" pled Felix.

Louis' look changed back to worried again. "Are you sure that's such a good idea?"

"I need to. It's something I should have done a long time ago."

***

To say that the Admiral was not pleased would have been an understatement. He looked like he was about the send Felix to the airlock right then and there.

"Why didn't you report this before?" the Admiral asked angrily.

"Because…" started Felix, trying to come up with a reason. He'd wanted the good he'd done on New Caprica to make up for the mess he'd made. He'd hoped this was all behind him, that he could just live as another officer in the fleet. But the truth was, he couldn't leave his sins in the dust of New Caprica like everyone else. He was a cylon. Everything he'd done would come back to haunt him. "I made a mistake, Sir. I should have told you."

The Admiral didn't respond. He simply stared at Felix, a hint of rage brewing behind his eyes. Then he just walked out of the room, leaving Felix alone in the brig once again.

Felix didn't like the look of things.

***

"They're going to airlock me."

"They're not going to airlock you," said Sharon, rolling her eyes at him. "They haven't airlocked me, and I've done a lot worse things than you have. You also spent a lot less time in that cell than I did, so I know the Admiral trusts you."

Felix slouched back against the wall of the cell. "Yeah, well, considering I'm back in jail already, that argument doesn't hold a lot of merit does it?"

"You're here because you _stabbed a guy_ , not because you're a cylon. They locked you up because rules are rules, even if half the fleet wants to give you a frakking medal for that."

"Sharon-"

"I already talked to the Old Man," said Sharon. "I got him to calm down. He's going to let you cool your heels in here for a little while, but you'll be fine."

Felix didn't feel entirely relieved. "Sharon-"

"Felix. I helped in the genocide of the human race. If you think that doesn't weigh on my mind every day, it does. But I know I'm more than that. And I know my husband knows I'm more than that. You aren't your mistakes Felix. Don't let them consume you, or there won't be anything left."

Felix knew there was no point in arguing. He'd lived long enough with the Agathons to know that Sharon always won. Part of that was because Helo was a total pushover, but Sharon also had this funny way of being right most of the time. Felix had a feeling that was the case now, even if he didn't want to admit it.

"And Felix?" Sharon added.

"Yeah?"

"Next time you go to stab Dr. Baltar, don't miss."


	6. Chapter 6

"I can't believe you're back in the brig already."

"Shut up, Dee," grumbled Felix.

"You're just as bad as Starbuck."

"I said shut up, Dee." Felix glared at her. Starbuck. How dare she?

"Felix," said Dee, switching to a more serious tone, "how much trouble are you in?"

Felix sighed. "I honestly don't know. The Admiral hasn't been back down here. I don't know if he's still angry at me or not."

"The Old Man is that angry at you for stabbing Baltar?" asked Dee.

Frak. It hadn't occurred to him that Dee had been talking about the botched interrogation and not New Caprica. Now he was going to have to tell her. Dee hadn't even been on New Caprica, but he still wasn't sure if he was ready to confess to her.

"Dee, there's something I should tell you…" started Felix.

"I know," she said. "Louis told me."

"I don't mean about Baltar," Felix confessed.

"I _know_ ," repeated Dee. "Louis told me."

Godsdammit. Felix was going to kill him. "Louis really needs keep his mouth shut sometimes."

"He wanted to make sure I wouldn't be angry with you," explained Dee. "And just so you know, I'm not. Louis just wants people to see you for who you are, Felix. I think he has a point, and a really good one at that, even if he does get a little overeager sometimes. He's only trying to help. You deserve that much."

"Thanks, Dee," said Felix with a soft smile.

"Besides," added Dee, with an evil glint in her eye. "I'm sure there are times when you don't mind that Louis has a big mouth."

"Dee!"

Dee grinned. Felix felt he should probably be appalled.

"Hey, I just want you to know," said Dee, "whenever you get out of here, you can have my place for the night. You seem like you could use some time alone."

"Lee's okay with this?" Felix asked hesitantly. He already wasn't on the best of terms with Lee, and Felix didn't feel like getting on yet another person's bad side at the moment.

"I'll take care of Lee. You just need to relax. And don't tell me you're fine, because I know you, and you're not," said Dee. "Besides, I'm sure Sharon and Helo could use some time alone too."

"Where are you and Lee going to sleep?" asked Felix. "I know things haven't been great between the two of you, I'm not sure having me around is going to help."

"Lee runs all-night CAP sometimes. I can sleep in the officer's racks for a night. It might be fun, actually. I haven't even been in officer's racks since I left for the _Pegasus_. I told you, don't worry about it. You are the one who needs to relax. You can worry about me some other time," Dee explained.

"Thanks Dee," replied Felix. "It means a lot."

"Anytime."

***

Felix had forgotten just how boring it was sitting in jail. He'd gone back to counting ceiling tiles again. He wasn't sure how he'd managed to endure over four months of this. He supposed it was a good thing that this wasn't coming easy to him. The idea of getting used to living in prison was a bit maddening.

Still. The two weeks he'd been sentenced to couldn't have gone by slower if he'd tried. Felix had already determined that each cell in the crew brig was built from 36 bars, except for one off in the corner that had one extra bar. He'd noted that the marine who covered second shift, Corporal Eastman, yawned, without fail, precisely ten minutes after he began shift, and that the first shift marine, Corporal Venner, had an annoying habit of cracking his knuckles on a semi-regular basis.

Felix thought about Caprica down in his old cell. She was probably more bored than he was. Felix at least had visitors, a fact which did not please Corporal Eastman at all, but kept Felix from losing his mind completely. Felix wasn't sure who would go to visit Caprica, except perhaps Sharon, who was awfully busy these days with a two-year-old on her hands now. He couldn't recall Caprica interacting with many humans on New Caprica besides Baltar, and he was off doing time in a cell of his own. Not that Baltar was really the type to pay social visits to people anyway.

On the flip side, no one on _Galactica_ really held a connection to her either. There hadn't been a Six posing as human on a day-to-day basis on _Galactica_. Sure, someone named Shelley Godfrey had mysteriously appeared and began pointing fingers at Baltar, but she'd only been on the ship for about six hours, hardly enough time for anyone to feel anything about her. (Felix had once had the unfortunate luck of bumping into her on New Caprica. She'd winked at him, and it had freaked Felix out so much he made it a point to avoid her if at all possible.) There of course had been the Six on the _Pegasus_ , but no one who had been down to see that cylon was ever going to be let anywhere near the holding cell here.

Caprica was, Felix realized, completely alone on this ship. It was no wonder she wasn't ready to pledge her allegiance. Felix decided he was going to do something about that.

***

When Felix was finally released from the brig, they wasted no time in sending him directly to the CIC. It was nice to know he was being treated like any other officer in that regard.

Judging by the reaction he received when the entered the room, word hadn't gotten out about Felix's confession. As Felix made his way to the floor, instead of receiving scowls, he was getting thumbs up from a number of people. Apparently Adama had only told them about the incident with Baltar. He knew Baltar was seen as the scapegoat for New Caprica, but he frankly didn't understand it. There were a lot of people who shared the guilt for New Caprica, himself included. Still, Felix couldn't help but feel a little delighted. It'd been a long time since the people on the bridge had given him positive attention.

The feeling of unease returned, however, as soon as he saw Colonel Tigh approaching him. The stabbing would be just what Tigh needed to oust Felix. While many would jump to consider what he'd done justified, it could just as easily be construed as evidence of a cylon with uncontrollable rage. Tigh wasn't the type to backstab- if he was going to stab you, he'd do so where you could see him do it- but he would be the type to change up the duty roster if someone pissed him off.

"Lieutenant," greeted the Colonel. "I heard about that stunt you pulled in interrogation."

Felix couldn't muster up the courage to reply.

Much to Felix's surprise, Tigh put a hand on his shoulder. "Good man." Then he walked away.

Felix froze in place. Colonel Tigh, a man Felix swore still wanted to toss him out the airlock, had just _complimented_ him. Tigh didn't give out compliments that often as it was. This was…huge. Maybe, just maybe, things were finally okay between the two of them.

***

As soon as Felix sat down at his station, he was greeted by Louis and a very large stack of paper.

"What is that?" Felix asked.

"Print-outs from the nav computer from the two weeks you were gone," said Louis, plopping them down on the counter. "Have fun."

Felix eyed the stack. It would take him forever to get through it. 'Oh well,' he thought. 'Nothing like business as usual.' If only getting out of prison had been this smooth the first time around.

"Oh and," added Louis, before heading off to man tactical, "the Admiral wants to see you once he's done inspecting the decks."

'So much for business as usual,' thought Felix. He knew this was coming. The Admiral would only avoid the hard topics for so long. It didn't make anticipating the conversation any easier. The Admiral would be up from deck inspection in an hour and a half, if everything ran according to schedule. It was going to be a long ninety minutes.

***

At precisely 0745 hours, Felix was called to the Admiral's quarters. The daily routine was running on time, for which Felix was thankful. As much as he dreaded sitting down with Adama face to face, it was better to get it over with.

"You wanted to see me, Sir?" Felix asked, entering Adama's quarters.

"Come in. Have a seat," the Admiral welcomed him. Felix noticed he wasn't sitting. Felix took a chair anyway.

"You probably have a lot of questions." Felix nodded. "Particularly, why I haven't sent you out the airlock." Felix felt himself beginning to sweat a little from his nervousness.

Adama began walking around the room. "You should know, Mr. Gaeta, that you're a valuable asset to this Fleet. Sharon might know a lot about cylon technology, but she doesn't know _Galactica_ 's technology, not like you do, and I need someone who can put the two together. And I'm not going to sacrifice that expertise just because I'm angry at you." Felix watched as the Admiral picked up a paperweight from his desk.

"Don't think I'm not still angry at you. But I've been reminded that there are people on this ship who've done worse things. We've all made our mistakes, Mr. Gaeta. You at least had the courage to admit to yours."

"Sir?" asked Felix. He wondered if this was all, or if more admonishment was coming.

Adama stopped walking and put the paperweight back on his desk. "You should also know that I don't intend to share your confession with the Fleet. I don't need the kind of trouble that would cause. Dismissed."

Felix stood from his chair and saluted. With any luck, this would be the last of any fallout from New Caprica. However, Felix wasn't sure he had that kind of luck.


	7. Chapter 7

"Dee, you're sure about this?" asked Felix as the two of them walked back to her quarters after dinner. Lee had assigned himself to overnight CAP for the night, so Dee was fulfilling her promise of offering up her space for Felix. Felix just wasn't sure about the deal.

"Felix, how many times do I have to tell you? You need to relax. I could use the escape. The Agathons could use some alone time. It's a win-win for everybody. Stop worrying!"

Felix still felt guilty.

"I told Louis to meet us there, by the way," added Dee.

Felix stopped in his tracks. "Wait, you…"

Dee rolled her eyes dramatically at him. "Oh please. Like you were really going to complain! You probably would have asked him to come over anyway, seeing as how little time you get alone together."

"True," stated Felix, and started walking again.

"But I swear to gods, if you have sex in my bed, I'm going to kill you."

"Dee!"

"I mean it," griped Dee sternly. "I'm not on the rotation for laundry for another four days, and I'd like to keep my sheets as clean as possible until then, thank you."

His natural counter would have been something about her and Lee's use of the bed, but given the present circumstances of that relationship, it probably wasn't a good idea. Plus, people were listening, and Felix really wasn't _that_ comfortable with the rest of the crew. So he said nothing and continued walking.

The two of them were greeted at Dee's quarters by Louis, who, by the looks of things, had already managed to make himself comfortable. His jacket was tossed over a chair, boots laying haphazardly on the floor, and he was currently lounging on the bed. Nice to know one of them wasn't feeling guilty at all.

"Hey guys," said Louis, with a big grin on his face.

"You know I'm doing this for _Felix_ , right?" Dee asked incredulously.

"Oh I know," Louis replied nonchalantly. "But that doesn't mean _I_ can't enjoy it. You can even stay too, if you want, Dee. I got the good liquor."

"I spend enough time with you two as it is," countered Dee. Felix found this almost as fun as bantering with her himself. "I'm headed to where the _real_ fun is. See you dorks later. And remember what I told you- both of you!"

Felix watched her leave, then went to join Louis on the bed. No need for Louis to be the only comfortable one.

"She give you the 'no sex in the bed' talk too?" Louis asked.

"Yeah. Think we should tell her we're not having sex yet?" Felix asked, motioning for Louis to move his legs so Felix could sit down next to him.

Louis smirked. "Nah. That'd take all the fun out of it."

Felix flopped down on the bed. It definitely was comfortable, he had to concede that.

"You feel guilty about this, don't you?" Louis asked.

"A little," Felix admitted.

Louis leaned over and grabbed something from underneath someone's tanktop that had been tossed on the floor. It was a bottle of ambrosia, completely full. Felix didn't know how Louis did it; he wasn't even sure Colonel Tigh could get his hands on a full bottle these days. "That's why I got the good stuff," said Louis, sloshing around the ambrosia a little. "I know I can't convince you otherwise. So I figure I'd get you drunk instead."

"You know me so well," said Felix. Louis was right. And he'd probably feel guilty in the morning, but if he could relax for a while now, he might as well. "Pass the liquor."

***

He'd thanked Dee the next morning when they met in the head. And later at breakfast. And again in the CIC. Having his own space to stretch out and not worry about other people nearby harboring hostilities against him had been fantastic. Not just because he'd been slightly drunk either. Getting to spend the night with Louis again, this time without having to sneak out of bed early, had been great, and something Felix was finding he wished they could do more often. It ended up being the best night's sleep he'd had in a long time. Felix didn't know how to thank her enough for that.

So he'd come to see Dee again after his shift was over. Dee hadn't mentioned how she'd enjoyed her night back in officer's racks. Felix hoped it had been good; he would hate to have her miserable when he'd had such a great night. Maybe, if he was lucky, they could work out some arrangement for the future.

When he arrived at the hatch to Dee's quarters, however, what he heard did not sound pleasant. The fact that he could hear so clearly through the hatch door was not a good indication.

"You let him sleep here?!"

"He's my friend, Lee!"

"He's a cylon!"

"You don't like it, take it up with your father!"

"My _father_ does not sleep in this room!"

"Neither did you last night! You were on CAP! It's not like we needed it! It's not like we ever need it anymore!"

"What the frak is that supposed to mean?!"

"You know exactly what it means! Do I have to spell it out for you, Lee?"

"Why don't you? It's not like I haven't heard it enough!"

"And yet you still can't seem to get it through your thick skull!"

Suddenly Felix felt guilty all over again. Felix knew things hadn't been great between Dee and Lee, but he didn't know they were fighting like this, on a regular basis by the sound of it. And he'd managed to trigger it this time.

Felix had to take a step back as the door swung open. Lee emerged from the room, looking a little red and a lot worked up. He glared at Felix, but didn't say a word. Then he stormed off. The thought crossed Felix's mind that Lee was starting to act more like his father when he got angry, but he brushed it off. He went in the room to see how Dee was doing.

"Hey," said Felix. "You okay?"

"Don't tell me you heard all that," said Dee.

"Yeah, I did. Where's Lee off to?" Felix asked.

"The gym? Joe's? Starbuck's rack? You know, right now, I don't really care," said Dee. Felix knew they really must have been on bad terms for a while, that Dee didn't care if Lee was headed to sleep with Starbuck.

"I'm sorry Felix, it's just…" began Dee. She let out an exasperated sigh. "You understand now why I wanted to spend the night somewhere else, don't you?" Felix hadn't thought of that before. He'd seen the offer as a favor to him, not one to herself. But it made sense. He'd probably want the same thing, if he'd been in her shoes.

"Is there anything I can do?" Felix asked, concerned.

"No," replied Dee. "Lee…hasn't warmed up to you yet. Besides, I don't think anyone else can really help. It's between the two of us." Felix wasn't sure about that last part. Whenever Starbuck was involved with something, the whole ship was bound to know about it. Felix was sorry Dee had to get wrapped up in one of those situations.

"You could still leave him, you know," Felix offered. It was the best advice he could think of.

"I can't," said Dee.

"Why?"

"Because. Despite all this, I still…love him." It was with that statement that Felix realized there was not anything he could do for Dee other than to lend an ear when she needed one. He'd been in that position before…sort of, anyway. Programmed to be in that position. But the feelings hadn't been real, so even Dee commiserating with him was bound to be one-sided. There was however, someone Felix knew that had had real feelings that left them frustrated. Someone who didn't happen to be in a good relationship at the moment like he was. Someone, he felt, who would understand.

Caprica.

Now there was something he could do for Dee.

"Dee, I think there's someone you should meet."

***

"Hello Felix," greeted Caprica over the phone. She still looked apprehensive. Felix hoped what he was about to do might change that a little.

"Hey Caprica. I thought I'd introduce you to a friend of mine. This is Lt. Anastasia Dualla," Felix said, gesturing at Dee. "Better known as Dee."

Dee waved and smiled. Then she leaned over to Felix and whispered, "Felix, why did you-"

Felix continued talking into the phone. "I thought you two should meet, since you seem to have, um…similar problems with your significant others."

"You're seeing someone?" Dee asked Caprica, surprised.

"I was," Caprica replied. "Gaius."

"Gaius Baltar?" asked Dee, seemingly a little perplexed. It must have been the idea of Dr. Baltar willingly being in a relationship, because Felix knew there certainly weren't any other Gaiuses in the fleet.

"Yes," Caprica replied.

Dee looked at Felix, obviously recalling what Felix had told her about New Caprica before the occupation. "But I thought you…"

"Not at the same time," Felix clarified.

"But-" said Dee, turning to Caprica.

"I know about it," Caprica interrupted. "I know it was just a program."

"But what about Dr. Baltar?" asked Dee, obviously becoming intrigued. "That wasn't a program on his part."

"With Gaius, there's always someone else," muttered Caprica.

"I think I know how that feels," said Dee.

Felix handed over the phone and left the two of them to chat. It wasn't about to solve anything, but Felix had a feeling it would really help both of them to know they weren't alone. It was the best anyone could hope for, really.

***

"Your friend Dee is nice," said Caprica, when Felix went to visit her later.

"Yeah," said Felix, smiling. "She understands people really well. She's not afraid to speak her mind either."

"I'm not so sure about her husband Lee, but perhaps I'm not the best judge of men myself." Felix could tell by her tone that she was making a joke out of the statement. Self-depreciating, but nonetheless Felix took it as a good sign. It wasn't easy to maintain a sense of humor when you were cooped up in a cell.

"We've all been there, trust me," replied Felix.

"The guy you're with seems rather sweet," said Caprica.

Felix was rendered speechless. He'd thought the only person who'd been down here besides him and Dee was Sharon. When had she met Louis? And why hadn't Louis told him about it? "Louis? You've met him?"

"He came down here a few days ago. He talked about you a lot. He seems very fond of you."

"But what was he…why…" Felix stammered. "Did he say why he came by?"

"He said it wouldn't be fair to you if he didn't. I'm not quite sure what he meant by that," said Caprica.

Felix knew exactly what he'd meant by that. "It means he believes everyone deserves a chance." And that Felix owed him for being the best boyfriend a cylon could possibly ask for. He wondered if a blowjob would be sufficient.

"Is everyone here like that?" asked Caprica.

"Like what?" replied Felix, forcing himself to snap out of it and stop thinking about the sorts of favors Louis might consider.

"Like your friends," she said.

"I wish. It'd make my life a lot easier," said Felix. It probably wasn't the answer she was hoping for, so he continued. "They're good people though, for the most part. Some of them just need more time than others. But they're good people."

Caprica smiled.

"I um," said Felix. "I should probably go." It wasn't much good to stick around talking when he had _other things_ on his mind. She'd spent enough time around Gaius, she'd definitely notice.

"I know it was wrong," Caprica said, just as Felix was about to hang up the phone.

"I'm sorry?" Felix asked, not sure what she was referring to.

"What we did to the Colonies. I know it was wrong. And I'm sorry I didn't know sooner."

She was apologizing. For the genocide. Apologizing, as a cylon, as one of its perpetrators. It was astonishing, it was unexpected, it was…the same thing he had done. He and Sharon weren't alone. It was almost enough to make him believe there was hope for all cylons.

Almost.

Three still wasn't the rule, it was the exception. Nonetheless, it was nice to have one more on their side.

"You stayed because they're good people?" she asked.

It was a question he'd been asked many times over the last few months, why he chose humanity over the cylons. He'd probably given a slightly different answer every time. But at its heart, it was simply how Caprica had phrased it. "Yeah."

"I think I'll stay too," said Caprica. "I think I'll stay."

***

"I should really be thanking you now, not the other way around," said Louis, as he leaned against the wall. They were crammed in the cleaning supplies closet, since it was the most private place Felix could think of that was convenient. The janitorial staff didn't work until the last shift, since that was the only time anything could be kept clean aboard the _Galactica_ anyway, and it wasn't like any viper jocks were about to come looking for a mop anytime soon. It was a little cramped, but it functioned nicely.

"I'll let you return the favor later, how's that?" Felix responded with a grin, from where he sat on the floor.

Louis slid down to the floor, brushing away a dust pin to sit across from Felix. He had a sated look to him, a fact which left Felix perhaps a little bit pleased. "Felix?"

"Yeah?" replied Felix.

"Why haven't we had sex yet?" Louis asked. "I mean, we've been dating for about three months now, and after _that_ , it's obvious it's not because we don't want to. Is there something we're waiting for? I'm just curious."

'Because you haven't asked me yet,' was the simple answer, and what Felix might have said if he didn't want to be completely honest. And it certainly wasn't because Felix didn't want to, Louis was right about that, it was that Felix had never been in that kind of relationship before, the kind where sex meant something. Even his false memories hadn't provided him with an experience like that. Not only was that a bit embarrassing for someone supposedly his age to admit, Felix was more than a little scared of screwing things up. Felix knew that if bad sex was enough to break someone up, they weren't going to last anyway, but it still didn't stop him from worrying it might happen anyway. Whoever thought that machines were completely rational had never met one who was falling for someone.

Felix felt Louis deserved the honest answer. "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm honestly a little…scared."

A look of concern washed over Louis' face. "Of what?"

"That it might suck," Felix admitted.

Louis laughed. "Baby, trust me, if you are half as good in bed as you are at giving blowjobs, it will definitely not suck." Louis moved around some of the cleaning supplies to come closer to Felix and give him a kiss. "Whenever you're comfortable okay? I won't pressure you."

"Dammit Louis, why are you so…understanding?" Felix asked. He wanted Louis to be a little frustrated with him, not just to say 'okay'. He wanted to be able to say 'no' without looking like a jerk, to make it look like he wasn't turning down the sweetest guy in the universe for no good reason at all. He didn't want to feel _guilty_ about making Louis wait.

"You're feeling guilty again, aren't you?" Louis asked. Felix didn't say anything, which he knew Louis would take to mean 'yes' anyway. "You need to stop that. You're doing it a lot lately, and it's not doing you any good. You keep feeling guilty about things you shouldn't! Gods, Felix, you're not a frakking burden, when are you going to get that?!"

He was getting frustrated now, just like Felix had wanted. It wasn't making Felix feel any better.

"Felix," Louis sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I made my first boyfriend wait a year and a half before I'd have sex with him. So don't feel like you're torturing me, okay?"

"A year and a half?" Felix asked, unable to avoid the question.

"I was a prude," said Louis. "I was also in high school, and scared to death by those tapes about venereal diseases they showed us in sex ed. It's beside the point. Just…don't feel guilty for making me wait, okay? I know you'd do the same thing if it was me."

"Okay," replied Felix, still not entirely convinced, even though he knew Louis was right. Felix drew Louis in for another kiss to take his mind off it. "Blowjobs are still on the table in the meantime, right?"

Louis gave him one of those kisses that indicated they might be there a while. Even in a cleaning closet, the thought seemed appealing. "They better be."

***

"So are we making this strip triad?" asked Helo, shuffling up the cards.

"Only if we can find a way to make Felix lose a lot," replied Louis, flashing a mischievous grin Felix's way.

"I'm gonna vote no in that case," said Sharon. "Dee, how do you put up with these two all day?"

"I have it easy, you're the one who shares a room with one of them," said Dee.

"Hey, I was the one who invited you, you're supposed to be nice to me," replied Felix.

Dee gave an innocent smile. "When am I not nice?"

Felix wished more nights could be like this one. Hera was with a babysitter, Helo had dug into his lollipop stash, Louis had somehow managed a bottle of the good stuff again, and they'd busted out a deck of cards. Just the five of them, alone in the Agathon quarters. No cheating husbands, no baby-stealing Presidents, no ex-coworkers accusing you of treason. Every day ought to be like this.

As it were, it was nice to forget about everything they all dealt with on a daily basis. As Felix looked around the room, he realized that for once, he was the one in the room with the least amount of worries. Felix had been in the brig during the Mellorak scare that had shaken all of them up. Hera was still having trouble adjusting to life with parents she'd never known. The crying kept Felix up at night on occasion, but it was much more frustrating for Sharon and Helo, who were trying everything they could possibly think of, with none of it seeming to work. Dee…well, the entire fleet seemed to know what Dee's problems were at the moment. And as for Louis, he may have joked about starting a "toaster lovers club" with Helo, but Felix could tell the looks and the whispers were starting to get to him. They hadn't even been able to go on a real date, which probably wasn't the way Louis imagined his next relationship going.

Felix had it easy. He had the Admiral's respect, Colonel Tigh's increasing cooperation, a steady relationship, and great friends. It certainly wasn't how he would have seen his life six months ago. And sitting there, playing cards and laughing over stupid jokes, Felix realized that he shouldn't be afraid of things going horribly wrong anymore. Sure, life turned out to be a bitch sometimes. His friends all knew that. Yet they were all here, having just a great of a time as he was. They kept going, even if they knew the setbacks were coming. Because if they stopped, then they'd never end up having nights like this.

Felix had been given a second chance. There was no reason he shouldn't be making the most of it. And he was going to start now.

Felix grabbed Louis and pressed his lips to his boyrfiend's. Dee, Sharon, and Helo all began cat calling.

"You gonna tell me what that was all about?" Louis asked when Felix decided to come up for air.

"You think you can clear out your racks tomorrow night?" Felix whispered. "I'm done being scared."


	8. Chapter 8

Felix streched out as best he could in the small bunk in an attempt to wake himself up. It was early- too early- and Louis was still asleep. But if Felix wanted to cut out before everyone else got up, he knew he'd need to do it now.

Still. Felix was too blissfully happy to really want to move at all. He'd hoped the previous night would be good, instead it turned out to be great. As it so happened, he'd had nothing to be scared of at all.

Felix yawned. He supposed it wouldn't hurt if he stayed there in the officer's racks just this once. Felix closed his eyes, cuddled back up to Louis, and went back to sleep.

***

Baltar's trial was officially announced shortly thereafter. Felix had been riding on such a high for the last couple of days that he didn't have quite the reaction some of the rest of the fleet did. It also hadn't surprised Felix that this was coming, since they couldn't keep Baltar locked up forever without providing a certified reason. However, given everyone's reaction to the stabbing incident, Felix knew that any trial for Dr. Baltar would be little more than a charade. Guilty would be the verdict, without question. There weren't any witnesses to say otherwise. There weren't any witnesses to prove his guilt either, just hordes of angry people looking for someone to pay for New Caprica, since the cylon fleet didn't seem to be around much anymore. He wouldn't dare say it out loud, but Felix knew the cylons weren't the only ones people could accuse of being a little bloodthirsty.

The only real witness to the politics inside _Colonial One_ on New Caprica that wasn't dead, in prison, or living on a basestar was Felix. Felix wasn't sure if he would have wanted to take the stand, not that it mattered. Once it had been noted that the trial would be judged by a panel of ship's captains, Felix knew there would be no chance of him being invited to testify. Absolve or damn Baltar, it wouldn't matter; the civilians still didn't trust Felix. The sworn testimony of a cylon would never be admitted as evidence.

It was probably for the best that Felix wasn't going to testify. If he sat on the witness stand, he'd end up putting himself on trial as well. He'd spent enough time and energy trying to build his rapport with the crew on this ship, he didn't need it torn down again.

Even though he wasn't going to face Gaius at trial, Felix still felt he needed to face the man sometime. Despite what the rest of the fleet thought about the stabbing, Felix felt like he owed Gaius an apology.

He'd arranged to visit Dr. Baltar after his shift. He wasn't allowed to enter the cell this time, as a precaution. He was also told, though really more as a joke, not to bring any writing utensils. That warning proved futile, however, when Felix entered the prison area to discover Baltar writing furiously. Felix guessed it was probably something written to Roslin, pleading for his life. If it was, Baltar was sure to share it if Felix brought it up, so he chose to ignore the document instead. It wasn't what Felix came to discuss.

"Dr. Baltar?" Felix tentatively announced his presence.

Gaius looked up from his writing. "Mr. Gaeta. I must say, I'm surprised to see you here."

"I came to apologize," said Felix.

"For stabbing me?" asked Baltar.

"Yes," replied Felix.

"We seem to be making a habit of this, don't we? You trying to kill me," said Baltar.

"You provoking me into it," Felix countered, a bit peeved. He'd come to apologize, not play this game all over again. "Did it ever occur to you that if I actually wanted to kill you, I could, quite easily? You should ask about the first person I stabbed." Eight. Now there was someone Felix hadn't thought about in a long time. She was really the last thing he wanted to be thinking about these days, in his new life. Felix pushed the memory from his mind.

"Yes, I'm sure. But I've heard the talk about our little mishap, if you will, so you'll forgive me for not believing you're being sincere," Baltar said.

"I'm not like the rest of the fleet," Felix explained.

"I'm well aware," replied Baltar. Felix frowned. Being a cylon wasn't what he'd meant by that.

Felix decided to change his strategy. He wasn't going to to be able to get an apology in now. "Did it occur to you, that I could help you?" Felix asked, coming closer to the bars. He hoped it would get Baltar listening.

"You know very well they won't allow you to testify at my trial," Baltar scoffed.

"I know. But that doesn't mean I can't provide information to the defense." Sure this was part of their game, but if Baltar's lawyer, whoever that may be, asked, Felix wouldn't say no. It was only just.

"Tell me, Mr. Gaeta, what motive do you have in helping me?" asked Baltar. He was listening now.

"I believe in giving people second chances." Now that he had Baltar's attention, it was time to deal. Felix currently had the upper hand, so he might as well do something with it. Felix stepped closer. He now was able to catch a glimpse of what it was Baltar was writing. _My Triumphs, My Mistakes_ it said. Felix had a feeling the "mistakes" part was awfully short, but it was enough to pique his interest. "Writing a memoir?" Felix asked.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. Would you be interested in reading it?" Baltar asked, picking up the document. Felix could now tell there were multiple pages to it, though not book length just yet.

"Not particularly. But I'm not sure how a book detailing your illustrious career as a world-famous scientist is going to win you any favors," he replied sarcastically.

"Who said it was to win me any favors?" Felix wanted to laugh. Why else did _anyone_ write a memoir? "I thought this fleet could use a story about someone who's overcome adversity. Yes, it talks about my so-called illustrious career, but it also talks about my childhood, as a farm boy from Aerelon."

Aerelon? Colony everyone seemed to pity but never wanted to visit? Gaius must have been really desperate for people not to hate him anymore. "Aerelon, huh?" asked Felix, coming off more than a bit skeptical, he was sure.

"People are not always what they seem," said Baltar, in what definitely was an Aerelon accent. There wasn't anyone from Aerelon serving on the _Galactica_ , but Felix found that he'd been programmed to just _know_ these things. Something in his programming was telling him it wasn't an affected accent either. "But I think you already know that."

"Time's up, Lieutenant," the marine called from behind him. Even though Felix couldn't think of anything to say, he hated to leave it here. The conversation was far from over. But for now, he had no choice.

***

"Word has it you went to talk to Baltar the other day," said Louis, as the two of them walked down the hallway together. Louis had asked him out on a "date", which likely meant they'd be spending an hour or two in the Agathon quarters while Sharon and Helo took Hera to see Kacey Brynn and her mother.

"Yeah, I did. I felt I needed to apologize. Where'd you hear that from?" Felix asked.

"Dee. She gets all her gossip from them," said Louis, gesturing toward a marine they passed. Marines: the often overlooked presence on board the _Galactica_ , a fact which made it easy for them to observe everything that happened on the ship. As a result, the Marines were by far the best source of fleet gossip. Dee was friends with at least half of them.

"So I figured that conversation couldn't have been all birds and butterflies, and you might need a little something to get your mind off things."

"Which is why you're taking me on a date?" Felix asked.

"Exactly." Louis then took a right turn towards the staircase, when Felix knew they should have been taking a left towards private quarters. Perhaps "date" now meant raiding the hooch locker, which was down on the hangar deck, where they seemed to be heading. Felix decided he should probably ask.

"Louis, where are we going?"

"Joe's," replied Louis. Felix froze. It was twenty hundred hours, eight o'clock. Prime hour at Joe's. The place was bound to be packed with drunken viper pilots who ran on the fuel of vengeance. It was not a smart place for a cylon to be.

"Tell me you're kidding," said Felix.

"Nope," said Louis, who kept walking even though Felix wasn't. "I may have a little surprise for you." Felix followed skeptically.

When they arrived at Joe's, it was, to Felix's shock, completely empty. Joe was cleaning glasses up at the bar, but other than that, there were no people to be seen.

"Louis, what did you-" Felix started.

"I thought we'd go on a real date for once. Come here when they aren't in the process of cleaning up." Louis had cleared Joe's, the most popular spot on _Galactica_ , for him. Either he was really hoping to get laid tonight, or was desperate for a bit of normalcy in their dating lives. Felix, on the other hand, was astonished at how much Louis seemed to be able to get from Joe.

"First the good liquor, now this. What do you keep giving him anyway?" Felix inquired.

"You want the truth?" Louis said with a nervous chuckle. "Besides the pool table, I haven't actually given him anything. Joe's dad was a friend of my grandfather's. We grew up in the same town. He trades me for memories."

That explained a lot. Of all the precious commodities that were hard to find, memories of old friends and family were among the rarest. Felix's memories might have been fake, but even he got a little homesick for his false past sometimes. He knew it had to be much harder for everyone whose memories were real.

Felix heard Joe tune the radio to the fleet's only music station. They were playing jazz right now. "Dance with me?" Louis asked.

Felix obliged, though what they did in the middle of the bar between a few tables could hardly be referred to as dancing. At first neither of them could figure out who was going to lead and who would follow. Louis stepped on his toes a couple times and Felix whacked Louis in the nose, but after a good five or ten minutes they figured things out eventually. It was blissfully awkward, like any first date should be.

When Louis buried his head in the crook of Felix's neck after the next song, Felix knew this date hadn't been about sex. He would have started kissing his neck if it had been, but Louis wasn't moving. "Louis, everything okay?" Felix asked, strongly suspecting it wasn't.

"It's starting to get to me, Felix," Louis whispered.

Felix had seen this coming. If Louis was bringing it up now, it meant he was beginning to crack. "The things people have been saying?" Felix asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"Yes," Louis replied.

Felix stepped out of their dancing stance and pulled Louis into a hug instead. "I know the people on _Galactica_ can be-"

"It's not the people from _Galactica_. They're fine, they're used to Helo and Sharon. It's the guys from the _Pegasus_. People I used to think were my friends. You should _hear_ some of the things they say, Felix. It's like, everything they wanted to say to Admiral Cain regarding her relationship with that Six, they decided to take out on me."

Felix hadn't realized things were _that_ bad. Or just how much he was putting Louis through. He'd sworn he was done feeling guilty, but maybe there were things he should feel guilty about anyway. "Louis, if you don't want to do this anymore-"

"I didn't say it wasn't worth it." Louis returned Felix's hug. "Look, Felix, I just wanted us to be normal tonight, okay? So let's just…be normal."

They headed back to Louis' rack a little later. They'd enjoyed the rest of their evening, but there was no denying the cloud that seeming to be looming over them. Normally they'd be going to Sharon and Helo's, but Louis had wanted normalcy, and spending the night after a date with a family that wasn't either of theirs definitely didn't fall in that category. It scared Felix a little, since the only times he'd been to Louis' rack were when no one else was around or everyone was already asleep. With Joe's closed, there would definitely be people there.

Sure enough, as soon as Louis opened the hatch, everyone in the room noticed them coming in. A few guys were too engrossed in their triad game to pay any attention after that, but there were a number of people staring.

"Either deal with it or leave," Louis addressed them, before leading Felix to his rack. There were a few people who got up and left. Almost all _Pegasus_ , Felix noted. However, most people stayed.

"If you're gonna have sex, can you keep it quiet?" asked Hot Dog.

"Actually," said a navigator named Rogers, "if you can beat us at Triad, we promise to clear the room for you. Deal?"

Felix was being invited into a Triad game. Maybe normalcy wasn't that far off after all. Felix looked over at Louis to read his expression. Louis shrugged, in a way that indicated 'why not?'.

"Alright," said Felix. "Deal us in."

***

The circulation of _My Triumphs, My Mistakes_ caused quite an uproar in the fleet. It was already being blamed for a labor strike on the _Hitei Khan_ just days after Felix had heard anything about the book going public, and it was starting to cause a rift between those who hated it and those who saw something in it. Felix, for all his attempts, couldn't seem to get his hands on a copy. Everyone on _Galactica_ denied having one, even though they'd all seemed to have read it.

What possessed Felix to check with Caprica, he wasn't sure. She was in prison, it was doubtful she would have a copy. But if anyone could speculate to the memoir's contents, she would have the best idea. Caprica may have been the only person in the fleet who knew the doctor intimately.

"I haven't read it," said Caprica. "But I know my guards have. One of them had a copy with him a couple days ago."

"Do you have any idea what it says?" Felix asked her.

"No. It depends on what he was trying to accomplish," she said. Felix should have figured. "But my guards have been nicer to me since they finished it. They say hello now, and they smile when they bring me my food."

That was strange. Felix didn't have the slightest idea what Baltar could have said that would convince people to be kind to cylons, especially that quickly. He _really_ needed to get his hands on a copy.

"Dee seems to think it's all bullshit," said Caprica. Felix noticed it was 'Dee' now and not 'your friend Dee.' Caprica was apparently making friends of her own.

"Has she read it?" Felix asked.

"From the way she came here ranting about it, I think so." Felix made a mental note to check with Dee later.

"So," said Felix. "How is everything going here? Are you still okay?"

"Yes, I'm okay," replied Caprica. "It really isn't that much different than the basestar. Everything looks the same with a projection on top of it."

Felix just nodded. It wasn't a comparison he wanted to consider.

"The strange thing is, I don't feel so alone here. Here I am locked in this cell all day, and on the basestar I was surrounded by my brothers and sisters, yet I feel closer to people here. I think…" Caprica paused. "I think humans allow themselves to feel connected to one another. I know the other cylons are my brothers and sisters, but I don't feel attached to them. Not like I did with Gaius, and not like I do with you or Dee either."

"I'm a cylon too, you know," Felix reminded her. "I'm not human like Gaius and Dee."

"Physically. But it's easy to forget that," she said. "You're not like the other Sevens. Did you know, on the basestar, they used to call you a traitor?"

It didn't surprise him. He wondered if they'd ever found out what he'd been doing on New Caprica. Now that he wasn't living in fear of them anymore, he sort of hoped they had. "Do you think I'm a traitor?" Felix asked. He knew she probably didn't. He just wanted to know why.

"No," she said. "I don't think joining the humans is a bad thing. It wasn't for you, and I don't think it will be for me either."

"What makes you say that?" Felix asked, out of curiousity.

"I don't ever remember seeing you happy before."

All Felix could do was stare in disbelief.


	9. Chapter 9

Never looked happy before. Felix's memories of life on the basestar were getting dimmer and dimmer, but he thought he might have remembered something like that. Then again, perhaps he'd forgotten on purpose. It was simply so strange to think of himself of being completely devoid of happiness. Felix was never more glad that he'd abandoned all ties to the cylons.

Felix went to find Dee, based on the information Caprica had given him. Sure enough, Dee did indeed have a copy of _My Triumphs, My Mistakes_. And Caprica apparently hadn't been exaggerating when she'd mentioned Dee ranting about it.

"You want it? Take it, it's yours!" she said, practically shoving it into his hands.

"You didn't like it much, I assume?" Felix asked tentatively.

"It's complete and utter bullshit! He thinks all non-Capricans are oppressed under the Roslin-Adama 'regime'. Do I look oppressed to you?!" Dee shouted. "Don't believe a damn word it says, Felix."

Felix had always known Dee didn't care for Dr. Baltar. Especially so after she admitted helping to rig the election. Apparently the book hadn't said anything to persuade her differently. It made Felix wonder if perhaps the people who liked the book now were the same people that voted for him two years ago. He definitely needed to read it.

"I wouldn't believe a word he says at his trial either," Dee continued. "That man is nothing but a frakking liar and you know he's just going to make something up on the stand just so he can save his own ass."

Felix wouldn't disagree with the last statement. Baltar would do anything to save his own ass. Whether that merited airlocking was where Felix saw things differently.

"And I swear to the gods, if you start talking to me about starting another strike for the good of the fleet, I'm not going to speak to you for a week!"

***

Dee was right about one thing, it was bullshit, some of the preaching anyway. Particularly about the needs of the underprivileged to rise up against their oppressors and demand more from their government. Gaius had pointedly ignored the demands of labor unions, schoolteachers, medical staff, and just about everyone else who came to _Colonial One_ looking for better living conditions on New Caprica. But the parts about his childhood on Aerelon were at least interesting and seemed from what Felix knew of the planet to be accurate. It was easy to find a message in the book, if you were looking for it, but whether it was actually Gaius' message and not just a way to attack the people who put him in jail was up for debate.

However, none of that was what caught his attention. What did catch his attention was a chapter entitled _The Third Class_. What it said was this:

_There exists, within our society as it stands today, a third class, outside of both the privileged and the marginalized former Colonial citizens. It is a class so minute that it is often overlooked, if not ignored at all. They enjoy protections from the elite, but are however, not treated as one of them. The second class do not claim them as their own, nor, does it seem, do they wish to. I am, of course, referring to the cylon._

_The cylon allied with the Colonial fleet is a class so small, you could count the number of them on one hand; however, they are a class that has become vitally important to our society as we know it._

_I had the opportunity to get to know one of these cylons rather well on New Caprica. What I saw was that this cylon endured the hatred of all Colonial citizens, yet remained devoted to human society in a way far greater than perhaps many of us. These cylons show their loyalty time and again and their only reward for it is a safe place to stay. They joined our society when the benefits seemed minimal. The cylon I knew did everything in his power to save our society, yet was sentenced to jail for his troubles. With nothing to gain and possibly everything to lose, these cylons chose to join us anyway._

_We isolate them, we admonish them, we wish for their presence to discontinue. They deserve none of this. Their sacrifice is perhaps a greater one than any of ours. And for that, they deserve our respect._

The chapter, Felix realized as he continued reading, was about him. Not only was there an entire chapter devoted to him, but Gaius wasn't trying to tear Felix down, or shift the blame, or call him out on anything. He praised Felix for his tenacity. Gaius, if he was telling the truth, was admitting that he respected Felix. And though parts of the book seemed dubious, Felix knew that this chapter was the truth. It would have been far easier, and gained Gaius far more favors, if he had torn the cylons down instead. But he hadn't. Now that there wasn't anything to be won at Felix's expense, Gaius' real opinion could come out. The war between them was over.

***

It seemed that Felix's enemies were getting fewer and fewer. Though he wasn't welcome in the rec room or down at Joe's just yet, he could safely visit Louis without having to worry. People outside his inner circle even sat by him in the mess occasionally. Gradually people were forgetting, or perhaps just caring less, that he was a cylon. Felix even forgot himself that he was a cylon sometimes.

But there were still reminders. Captain Kelly remained prickly whenever they had to work together in the CIC. Lee was at odds with him, though if that had more to do with Felix being a cylon or taking Dee's side in their marital spat, he wasn't entirely sure. And Felix still made it a habit of avoiding Kara Thrace. That is, until the day she disappeared into an interstellar storm cloud.

That event immediately sent all of _Galactica_ into turmoil. The fleet had suddenly and unexpectedly lost their best pilot, or most annoying officer, depending on who you were asking. Either way, no one was really sure how to react. So they all got drunk. It was, oddly enough, probably the most fitting way to honor Starbuck. That night was the first time Felix was able to go to Joe's when it was full.

"Is it bad that I don't care?" asked Dee, as Louis passed a round of ambrosia around the table. "I wish it would make a difference between me and Lee, but I know it won't. If death worked that way, we wouldn't have a memorial wall. Not caring is the best I can muster at this point."

"Dee, it's fine that you don't care, not that I'll admit that to my husband," replied Sharon. "Helo's broken up about it, which is why I didn't let him come down here tonight and start drinking like everyone else. You've all seen him hung over; I don't want to have to take care of two children tomorrow."

Two tables over, a glass shattered on the floor. It was early in the evening, but tonight everyone had started drinking early. Things were bound to get messier.

"So Felix," said Sharon. "How's it feel being able to come down here during regular hours?"

Felix watched someone stumble drunkenly over a chair, nearly toppling over someone else in the process and almost starting a brawl. "It doesn't look like I was missing much."

"Well," said Louis, swirling the ambrosia around in his glass. "Usually not everyone in the bar is depressed. I can't say a better mood makes much of an improvement, but it helps."

It was funny, in an odd sort of way, that Felix had wanted back into this life, yet now, being here, he took no interest in it. Perhaps it was more the thought the he knew he could come down at will, if he wanted to. It was a shame _Cloud 9_ had been destroyed; the bars there were much nicer.

"Rumor has it Baltar's lawyer is starting to talk to witnesses for the trial," offered Sharon. Dee rolled her eyes, Louis appeared disinterested. Felix was curious.

"Who, have you heard?" he asked.

"No," answered Sharon. "I only hear what Racetrack picks up on shuttling him from the _Zephyr_. I don't know that she's heard anything specific, and from what I hear about _him_ , it's probably better she doesn't ask him any questions."

"Of course Baltar has a skeevy lawyer," grumbled Dee. "It's only fitting."

The list of possible names of witnesses was running through Felix's mind. Surely they had to be talking to President Roslin. Someone who'd spent time in detention, which on this ship meant Colonel Tigh. Supporters were probably hard to come by, and certainly not among the crew on this ship. Felix had heard whisperings of a cult of followers that had arisen since the book was released, but he doubted that any such group, if the rumors were true, was likely to be taken seriously by most of the fleet. Eventually, if the defense wanted to build the story from inside _Colonial One_ , they were going to talk to him.

"Felix?"

"Hm?" Felix asked, unsure of who had just addressed him.

"I asked if you wanted another round," said Louis. "This trial isn't bothering you, is it?"

"Just debating what I'm going to say when he comes me," replied Felix, shrugging off the concern for now. He'd let his friends worry once someone actually came to interview him. "Fill me up."

A few tables over, a couple nuggets were arguing over which one of them Starbuck pushed around more. Then one of them threw a punch, and this time, a bar fight did begin.

Felix downed his glass of ambrosia. "Somebody tell me why I thought I was missing out on something here."

***

Three weeks went by. Baltar got a new lawyer, his first murdered by Captain Kelly. The given story was that Captain Kelly couldn't bear to watch Baltar stand trial while hundreds lay dead on New Caprica without justice given to them. The story didn't quite add up, because Captain Kelly hadn't even been on New Caprica. Felix had a suspicion that part of it had to do with him and the disdain Kelly so obviously felt towards him. The captain wasn't able to take anything out on Felix, or Felix's friends, without being subjected to the wrath of the Admiral, so Baltar was the next closest thing.

Sergeant Hadrian bought the story though, so Kelly was sentenced to the brig for theft and unlawful use of arms, and would be pending murder charges later. The new lawyer was named Romo Lampkin. This was who Felix was expecting to talk to when he finally got the call to come in for an interview. He was surprised however, when the man who greeted him was not this particular stranger, but rather a familiar face.

"Lee."

"Felix," Lee greeted him. "I can't say I'm looking forward to this, but you might be the best witness we've got."

Felix wondered when, and how, Lee had gotten involved in all of this. The man was a viper pilot, not a lawyer. Then again, he was also close to President Roslin, and it wouldn't have surprised him if the President was using him to try to sway the result.

"I understand you were Baltar's Chief of Staff, is that correct?" Lee asked. His tone indicated he clearly did not want to be speaking to Felix right now. The feeling was mutual.

"That's correct."

"And you were on hand for the day to day operations of the office of the president?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Were you present for the official surrender to the cylons?"

Gods, he had to start with that question. That event was about the only one during the entire occupation that he had little to no recollection of. All he could remember was the startling revelation that he was a cylon as he stared another Seven in the face. If the words "I surrender" had come out of Gaius' mouth that day, he wouldn't have known it.

"I was there, but I was a little preoccupied," Felix said.

"Alright, how about something you _do_ know," said Lee, flipping through his notes. If this was the way the questioning was going to continue, Felix was going to go nuts. He felt he needed to say something.

"Does Dee know you're doing this?" was the first thing that came to his mind.

Lee looked up from his papers. "Yes, she does. Can we discuss the more relevant topic?"

"No," said Felix, putting his foot down. Lee was going to hear him out and hear him out now. Felix had barely ever spoken to Lee before New Caprica, and he really wanted a decent explanation for Lee's problem with him. Felix's problem with Lee, well, Lee needed to hear it. "What did she say?"

"It's none of your business." That meant Dee hadn't been pleased. Felix wasn't surprised.

"While we're on the subject of Dee-"

"Felix, stay out of my love life, okay?" asked Lee in an exasperated sigh. "I've got enough people trying to interfere already."

"Yeah well," said Felix, "maybe they have a reason."

"For the gods' sake, you're a cylon!" Lee shouted. "What the frak do you know about relationships?"

That stung. That Lee would think he was incapable of harboring feelings for someone just because he was a machine hurt, even if Felix didn't particularly care for the man as of late. Just what did Lee think Felix was doing with Louis?

But this argument wasn't about him. "I know you're putting my best friend through a lot of heartbreak."

"Like how you did, you mean?"

Felix felt his blood begin to boil and his spine to grow warm. If he didn't keep himself in check, he'd end up stabbing Lee with the nearest pointy object. It was a tough battle, but Felix managed somehow.

"At least I admitted that to her. And I apologized. Which is more than I can say for you so far."

"Are you accusing me of something Lieutenant Gaeta?!" asked Lee, rising from the table and shoving his papers to the side.

"Only of being a crappy husband!" Felix countered as calmly as possible, which at this point wasn't very calm at all.

"So I should be taking advice from cylons now, is that it?" Lee asked snidely. "Genocide of the Colonies, great idea! Destruction of all civilization, fantastic! Holding my best friend hostage and playing mind games with her, that worked out _so_ well!"

Felix rose from the table to meet him face to face. His chair clamored to the floor, but he had no concern over it now. "None of which I had any part of!"

"You might as well have!"

The conversation was back to him again. Well, if that was the way Lee was going to go, Felix thought he ought to make Lee reconsider his opinion. "Oh," replied Felix, leaning in a little closer so that Lee could taste the sting of his words. "If we're going to go down that road, how does it feel to blow up a government building? What's it like to kill innocent civilians over a can of coffee? How's it feel to murder Sagittarons just because you don't like that they don't believe in medicine? That's what _humans_ do, and you're one of them, so you might as well have done it yourself. Gosh Lee, you don't look so stellar right now either."

"At least," Lee growled. "I was born with a conscience."

"At least I know how to use the one I developed," Felix snarled. The two of them stared angrily at each other, willing the other to make the next move. Felix seized the opportunity.

"And by the way," he added, "if you hate cylons so much, why are you _defending_ Gaius Baltar? The ultimate cylon collaborator!"

That caught Lee off guard. He sat back down in his chair, too stunned to speak. Felix could see him grasping for an answer that would make sense. Then he said, much more level-headed than he'd been, "Because I believe in justice."

"Perhaps you could stand to learn a little more about justice then." Felix had nothing more to say today. He'd let Lee think about it for a little while. Felix really hoped he'd go and tell Dee all about it. Lee would either hate him more or hate him less, but either way, Felix had gotten what he needed to get out. He knew Lee was a smart guy. Hopefully next time they were in a room together, Lee could give Felix reason to have respect for him.

Felix kicked the chair out of the way and stormed out of the room.


	10. Chapter 10

"Has someone come to talk to you about the trial?" Felix asked Caprica through the phone. He'd managed to calm down since the day before when he'd spoken to Lee. Most of that probably had to do with the fantastic back rub that Louis gave him that night. His boyfriend had talented hands, among other things.

"Just his lawyer. The one with the sunglasses. He seems kind of strange," she replied.

"I haven't met him yet. If Lee's still too pissed to talk to me, I will soon enough though," said Felix. "What did you tell him?"

"That I should've been the one to stab him." Apparently Felix was now the only person in the universe who didn't want to seriously harm Gaius Baltar. The man didn't stand a chance at trial.

"Felix, can I tell you something?" Caprica asked timidly. She wasn't timid much anymore these days, so Felix knew something had to be up.

"Sure."

"I keep having this vision. A vision of Hera and Gaius, and me leading them both into this opera house," she explained.

"Bizarre," said Felix halfheartedly. She must have been going stir crazy. Being cooped up in a cell for weeks on end could do strange things to your mind.

"Do you think it means anything?" Caprica asked expectantly.

"Um," said Felix. Visions and prophesies were really not his thing. If anything, he thought they were simply hokum, dreamed up by people who wished to believed in something but didn't feel compelled enough by mere scripture. "Probably not. But I'm really not the person to talk to."

"Who would you suggest?"

"I'd say maybe someone in the vision," Felix guessed. Although talking to Gaius was impossible and Hera really wouldn't be much help. It was a start at least.

Caprica smiled anyway. "Thanks."

"Hey, are you going to want updates on Gaius' trial?" Felix asked, changing the subject.

"No," replied Caprica. "I don't care what happens. Or at least, I'm trying to convince myself of that. Please don't say anything. It's better if I don't know."

Felix nodded in understanding. It was easier to get over someone if they weren't around. "Sure. I'll see you later?"

"Tell Louis and Dee I said hello."

***

The day before Baltar's trial was set to begin, Felix was summoned to his lawyer's quarters. Felix had thought this man with the sunglasses he kept hearing about had been the one to summon him, so he was surprised to see Lee in the room when he arrived. Felix let him speak first.

"Lieutenant Gaeta, have a seat," Lee offered, gesturing at the chair across from him at the table. Felix accepted and sat down.

"I think we got off to a bad start last time," Lee said.

"Bad start?" questioned Felix. He had to be kidding.

"Okay, scratch that. It got ugly." That was more like it. "I know you're angry with me on behalf of Dee. And I have no room to hold that against you, but can you please leave that between Dee and I? It's something we're working on, and I can't fix it overnight."

Felix wanted further explanation on his definition of "working on it", but out of respect for Dee, he didn't ask. If it was true, he owed it to Dee to give her a chance to work through her issues on her own.

Lee continued. "As for everything else-" _My being a cylon_ Felix filled in mentally. "I've been doing a lot of thinking." Good. He'd gotten through. "I don't like that we have cylons on _Galactica_. I'm still not sure you're trustworthy. But you're right. About justice. It's not just for the privileged. I've spent a lot of time lately reading my grandfather's books on the law. He had a strong opinion on justice, that the law should apply equally and fairly to everybody. This fleet today might not be a perfect representation of the Colonies, but I think we should strive to uphold the values that made Colonial society great to begin with. And since this fleet seems to include cylons, it stands to reason that they deserve that same vision of justice my grandfather wrote about. I can't call myself a lawyer without accepting that my father was being just when he gave you your uniform back. So I think the right thing for me to do is to call a truce and tell you that I won't doubt the truth of the answers you give me about the Baltar Administration. Do we have a deal?"

Felix had been right. Lee Adama was a smart man. They could get to know each other later if they really wanted, but if reason had been what swayed Lee to accept Felix, then Felix couldn't argue with that. It might not have been an answer Felix liked, but it was an answer he could respect. "Deal."

"Now. What can you tell me about a death list?"

***

Felix was walking by the officer's racks when heard a loud bang of something being thrown against a locker. Baltar's trial had just begun and to hear someone taking out their rage on something was quickly becoming a common occurrence. He just hadn't expected Dee to be the one throwing things.

"That frakking BASTARD! I can't believe him!"

"You that mad at Baltar?" Felix asked, cautiously poking his head into the room.

"Baltar? Frak him, I'm that mad at _Lee_!" Dee shouted.

"Lee?" Felix asked. Surely this wasn't about the conversation Felix had last had with him. That had progressed surprisingly well. He hadn't heard anything else about Lee lately and he knew he definitely wasn't sleeping with Kara, since she was dead.

"Yes! Oh my GODS! Did he tell you he was a lawyer now?"

"Uh, I think he may have mentioned it in passing," said Felix, recalling mention of the word, but not thinking anything of it at the time. Now that he thought about it, it at least seemed off that Lee was calling himself a lawyer now.

"He's defending Gaius Baltar! The most despicable man in the entire fleet!" He'd apparently taken over from Tom Zarek in Dee's mind, not that Felix was terribly surprised by that. "He's not just gathering evidence. He's representing the man at trial! How can he turn his back on the people of the Colonies like that?! I can't believe him!" Dee fumed.

"What did you say to him?" Felix asked.

"I gave him an ultimatum. Baltar or me."

"And?" Felix asked.

"What do you think?" Dee spat out. She chucked a pyramid ball at the locker again, hitting it with another loud bang. Felix cringed. He didn't think he'd ever seen Dee this mad.

"I take it you're separated now," said Felix, not wanting to come any closer, for fear Dee might rip his head off at any second.

"Frak that. I told him now that he's a lawyer, he can mock up his own divorce papers."

Damn. After weeks of trying to talk her into it, the final straw happened to be Gaius Baltar. The doctor seemed to have a knack for altering people's lives drastically: Caprica's, his, now Dee's. The man ought to wear a badge or something.

Dee chucked the ball at the lockers again. Felix swore he could see a dent beginning to form. He decided just to back away now, before anyone got hurt. He'd help her drink away her anger later.

***

Felix didn't believe in the gods. Or God. But when everything began to get crazy all at once, it started to make him question things. First Colonel Tigh was acting like he was losing his mind in a way ambrosia never used to affect him, then Baltar was miraculously acquitted, and then Starbuck reappeared from the dead.

The Starbuck that showed up in a cloud of nebulaic dust was not the same Starbuck that had disappeared a few weeks back. She was deranged, claiming that she'd been to Earth. No one really believed her of course, and she was locked up under suspicion of being a cylon. It was the sensible thing to do. He knew it was terrible of him, but Felix couldn't help but feel a slight bit of vindication seeing Starbuck locked away under nearly the same circumstances he had been. He could also appreciate the irony if Starbuck did turn out to be a cylon, though it was truly a frightening thought.

Then Starbuck starting screaming about how they were going the wrong waaaaaaaaaay, and Felix knew Starbuck was definitely _not_ a cylon. Cylons were certainly prone to tantrums, but they usually blew things up when they got that way. Screaming and yelling, especially like Starbuck was doing, was too un-robotlike for them.

The Admiral must have been convinced she wasn't a cylon as well- or perhaps he'd merely lost his mind along with the rest of the fleet. He not only declared her fit for duty, he set her up with her own ship. Thankfully Adama still had the sense enough not to send both his cylons on that mission. Felix really wanted to kiss his feet, even if decorum said that was a bad idea.

Not only did Felix have the joy of being spared two months on a sewage ship with the thing that was supposedly Kara Thrace, he also managed to gain the best living arrangement ever.

Felix shoved Louis against the wall and locked the door to Sharon and Helo's quarters very tightly.

"It's all ours?" Louis asked.

"Uh huh," said Felix, pressing himself to Louis and working his fly, trying to get a hand down his pants.

"For two whole months?" Louis asked.

"Uhhhhhh huh," replied Felix, successfully managing a hand down Louis' boxers.

"With no striiiiiiiiii-" Worked every time. "-ngs attached?"

"Just to check up on Hera every once in a while. And wash the sheets before they get back. That's it."

Louis grinned and shoved Felix's jacket to the floor. "I think I like this arrangement already."

"Louis?"

"Yes?"

"Frak me."

"Yes, Sir."

It was going to be a great two months.


	11. Chapter 11

Louis flopped an arm over Felix in his sleep. Now that they had a big bed to share, Felix noticed that Louis liked to sprawl out when he slept. Felix was debating whether it was annoying or adorable.

"Louis," said Felix, prodding at his arm.

"No, I don't wanna get up," mumbled Louis, pulling Felix a little tighter. Adorable was currently winning.

Felix eyed the clock. 0400, which meant he didn't need to be up for at least another half an hour. Felix closed his eyes and snuggled in closer.

"I love you," Louis mumbled.

Felix's eyes shot open. He rolled over slightly to see if Louis was awake. Louis' eyes were closed, his head resting on the pillow, his mouth slightly open. A minute later he began to snore. He'd definitely been more than half-asleep when he said it. Felix wondered if Louis would even remember when he woke up.

Felix certainly wasn't going back to sleep now. Louis had just said "I love you" without any warning whatsoever and Felix had no idea how to respond. "I love you too" would be the logical response, but did he? Felix wasn't sure.

It'd be an early morning, but Felix couldn't bring himself to stay. He crept out of bed and made his way to the showers.

***

"Hey Felix, what's going on?" asked Dee as he walked into the CIC. "You don't have a stupid grin on your face like you've had every day for the last week. Something wrong?"

"No," replied Felix, his eyes anywhere but on Dee. He didn't want her prying, it still felt too personal just yet.

"Louis seems his usual perky self, so you guys definitely aren't fighting," surmised Dee. Felix started to walk towards his station, but Dee followed. Felix felt her lean in close. "Did he tell you he loves you and you don't know what to say?"

"Dee, can we not talk about this right now?" Felix asked under his breath.

"Oh my gods, he did!" Dee squeaked. Felix was going to kill her. "Felix, you're such a chickenshit! You know you love him! All that time you spend making doe eyes at him, I know it's not just because you think he's cute."

"I do not make doe eyes at him." The CIC was not the appropriate place to be having this conversation, Felix thought. The Admiral was watching, not to mention Louis was standing ten feet away. Apparently none of this was phasing Dee.

"Oh please. You're pretty much an open book when it comes to Louis. The entire ship knows the two of you have been getting laid on a daily basis." Usually more than once daily. Not that Felix was about to admit that in the middle of the CIC.

"Can we not discuss my sex life in front of the Admiral?" Felix whispered.

"You two!" Colonel Tigh barked. "Back to work!" Felix breathed a sigh of relief.

"Tell him you love him!" Dee whispered before scurrying off. Felix wished it were that easy.

***

After his shift ended, Felix needed a way he could avoid Louis for a little while. Judging by Louis' demeanor all day, he hadn't remembered a damn thing. If he went back to their quarters now, Louis was certainly going to ask him what was going on. Felix didn't want to talk about it, because he knew it was only going to make things awkward for the both of them.

Thankfully, a distraction came easily, in the form of Colonel Tigh. The Colonel had been acting bizarrely ever since Baltar's trial. He'd definitely been drinking more, though that was dismissible. Every now and again he'd look around the room as if he were hearing things. Felix also noticed that Admiral Adama would sometimes ask him if he was alright, which usually didn't happen merely when Tigh had been drinking.

Colonel Tigh had never been a particularly great XO, but he seemed even less competent now. Felix wasn't worried about Tigh declaring marshal law again anytime soon, but it appeared that the Colonel was going to snap. Tigh didn't even seem to have the confidence in himself these days. Felix would occasionally catch him stealing weird looks at Admiral Adama, and he seemed to be tiptoeing around the CIC, as if someone was going to call him on something and order him to hand over his pins. Officers usually got that way when an inspection by the Admiral of the Fleet was imminent, but that certainly wasn't anything anyone was worried about now.

Most oddly, he'd been seen sneaking off to the gym on a number of occasions in the last week. If Felix had to surmise, Colonel Tigh had probably stopped going to the gym thirty years ago.

Felix was following him there now. He kept a safe distance, so it wouldn't be too obvious he was following, though it was really more precaution than he needed. Usually people would say hello when you walked through the halls on _Galactica_ , but in both Felix's and Tigh's case, a salute was all they would offer, Felix because he was a cylon and Tigh because he was XO.

Colonel Tigh turned down the hallway to go to the gym, carefully peering in every direction to make sure no one was watching. Felix had never seen the Colonel so paranoid. Felix debated going into the gym after him. He decided against it, since it would be too obvious he'd been following Colonel Tigh. Felix never went to the gym either.

Later that night, Felix was still debating what was going on. Did Baltar's trial trigger memories of his torture on New Caprica? Was the ghost of his dead wife haunting him? Was old age bringing about senility?

"Baby, what's going on?" asked Louis. "You've been out of it all day today."

"Have you noticed anything strange about Colonel Tigh lately?" asked Felix, Louis' subconscious confession no longer his primary concern.

"Yeah, he's been acting weirdly, but I'm told he's a drunk, so I didn't think much of it," Louis said with a shrug.

"He is, but he usually gets angry when he's drunk, not secretive," explained Felix.

"Well, I suppose you know him better than I do." Louis took off his tanks, then tugged on the hem of Felix's urging him to do the same. Louis kissed him at the nape of his neck and began pulling Felix's tanks up himself. Clearly he was trying to distract Felix from conversation, but Felix wasn't having it.

"He's paranoid, distracted, keeps sneaking off places, and seems really unsure of himself, kind of like when he was in charge of _Galactica_ , pretending he's competent when he'd really like to hide in a corner. I mean, I know I-" Felix stopped. A thought crossed his mind, one he never would have believed if someone had simply told him. One he didn't want to believe. There had been stories, back on the baseship, about five who were not ever to be spoken of. Felix figured they had been a tactic used by the Ones to scare the other models into voting his way. But perhaps they were true.

The secrecy, the paranoia, the self-doubt. Felix recognized the behavior because that had been exactly how he had acted on New Caprica.

Colonel Tigh was a cylon.

***

It was a little strange to be visiting Colonel Tigh's private quarters, given their history of mutual dislike, but Felix found it necessary. Felix doubted anyone besides him knew about Colonel Tigh, and if he didn't step in, the Colonel would end up driving himself mad. The only close friend Tigh seemed to have around the ship was Adama, and if he ever shared anything, that friendship would be quickly over. Plus, if Tigh was a cylon as he suspected, someone needed to assess him, quickly. If the Colonel had some sort of latent programming, it could spell disaster for the entire fleet. Felix didn't know what he'd be looking for, but he had a feeling he'd know it when he saw it.

"What brings you here?" growled the Colonel. "Our FTL spinners aren't acting up I hope."

"No, Sir," replied Felix. "I wanted to ask you…" Felix paused and cleared his throat. "To ask you how long you've known, Sir."

Colonel Tigh gave him a skeptical look with his one eye. "I don't know what you're referring to Lieutenant Gaeta."

"That you're a cylon, Sir," Felix stated matter-of-factly. If the Colonel didn't start shouting about now, he'd know he was correct.

"Do you realize what you're accusing me of?" asked Colonel Tigh, fairly calmly. Felix had his answer.

"I'm a cylon, Sir. I know the signs."

Colonel Tigh looked like he was about to protest, then changed his mind. "You tell _no one_."

"Understood," said Felix.

"I'm not going to turn on this ship," said Tigh, standing straight and proud. "I am still Saul Tigh, and I am still the XO of this ship. I swore an oath, and I intend to defend that oath until the day I die."

'You say that now,' thought Felix. Then he mentally stopped himself. He'd risen above his programming. Why couldn't Colonel Tigh? Of course, Felix had found out too late to realize he'd been doing anything. Maybe the Colonel was a ticking time bomb. Or perhaps these mythical yet apparently real "final five" were a different breed of cylon. Felix had certainly never seen any Colonel Tigh copies walking around the baseship. He wanted to give Tigh the benefit of the doubt. But Felix had little faith in his own species, so he decided he should at least ask a few questions that might help to decide things.

"Have there ever been times when you blacked out and woke up later not realizing how much time had passed?" That was a dumb question, Felix realized immediately after asking it. Tigh drank a lot, of course he would have blacked out before. "When alcohol wasn't involved?" he added.

"No. Never," said Colonel Tigh.

"Can you remember being on the baseship, and perhaps how long ago that was?" Felix asked.

"The only time I've ever seen the inside of a cylon ship was when Starbuck brought that frakking raider on board. I don't remember before, I just know there was a before," Tigh barked at him.

That was strange. Felix got all his memories back about "before" the second he'd woken up in a resurrection tub. Then again, Colonel Tigh hadn't died, so that might explain the lack of memory. But if he hadn't died, and if no one had come up and told him, how the frak did he figure it out?

"How did you figure out you were a cylon?" Felix inquired.

"It was that frakking nebula," Tigh growled. "And this music. Over and over we kept hearing it. Then we hit that frakking nebula and it just clicked. I'm a cylon. And I'm from Earth."

Earth. Apparently Tigh actually was losing his mind in addition to being a cylon. "You've been to _Earth_?"

"I can't explain it Gaeta, I just know it!" Tigh snapped.

"And who is we?" Felix asked, wondering who else Tigh was referring to that had heard music.

"Tory Foster. Anders. Tyrol."

He had to be kidding. The leaders of the New Caprican resistance were all cylons? Of course, their source had been a cylon too, so why not? Maybe it just took a cylon to beat the cylons. If that were true, then Tigh and the others being cylons might be the best thing to happen to the fleet yet. But Felix wasn't too quick to jump to conclusions. Especially since they seemed to be short one person.

"I've always heard it was supposed to be the final five. Who's the fifth?"

"I don't know. It's just been us four," said Tigh.

That didn't ease Felix's mind. "Are you aware of each other as cylons, or are you just surmising?" Felix asked.

"We've had meetings," replied Tigh.

The gym. The perfect place to make sure no one would walk in on you, given that absolutely no one was gaining weight since the incorporation of the all-algae diet. Felix decided he should check out one of these meetings, to see what was being said. It might give him a better idea of whether or not to trust them than simply talking to Colonel Tigh.

"Are you done questioning me?" Tigh asked.

"For now," said Felix. "Have a good day Colonel." He'd do more investigating later. He needed to. The future of the fleet was in his hands.

Again.


	12. Chapter 12

Magic. That had to be how Louis was able to do _that_ with his hands. Magic.

"Felix?" Louis whispered seductively in his ear.

"Mmmm?" Felix purred.

"Your spine is glowing."

Felix smiled. "I know. Don't stop." Louis was chuckling at him and the stupid grin on his face, Felix knew it. He also didn't care.

Louis ran his thumbs in small circles at the base of Felix's neck. It was a great stress reliever, not to mention on incredible turn-on. He could feel the warmth in his spine concentrating in that particular spot. Louis slowly worked his thumbs down Felix's spine, perhaps to toy with him and see just how his spine would respond. Not that Felix minded any- anytime Louis and his magic hands did their work, Felix might as well have been a puddle of goo at Louis' feet.

"You know I offered to do this because I could tell you were stressed. So are you going to tell me what was bothering you, or have I lost you already?"

Felix just moaned.

"Yeah I thought so."

Louis took his hands off him. "Hey, why did you stop?" Felix asked indignantly.

"Because I want you to tell me what's wrong. You can melt into my arms later." Louis was giving him the puppy dog eyes. Great. Just as it was getting good.

"Colonel Tigh is a cylon. Now, can we get back to where we left off?"

Louis just stared at him. "Colonel Tigh. Is a cylon?"

"Yes." Now it was Felix's turn to give the puppy dog eyes.

Louis wasn't buying it. "Does the Admiral know?"

"Not yet," sighed Felix, disappointed that his backrub was over. "I need more information. He's one of the final five, I know that much. But the 'final five' were such an enigma around the baseship that I honestly thought they were just a myth."

"And now?" asked Louis.

"Well, I know they exist. And Tigh claims they're from Earth, which I'm really not so sure about," said Felix, shaking his head. "I'm not sure they're cylons in the same way I'm a cylon. A different breed or something. Sort of like the difference between Capricans and Sagitarrons, I suppose. Like I said, I need more information."

"I'm still not sure you should be keeping this secret, Felix," said Louis. "I mean, Colonel Tigh is one of the most powerful people in the fleet. It could be dangerous."

Felix had certainly thought about that. But it still didn't seem right to pass immediate judgment, especially given his own past.

"Do you trust me, Louis?" Felix asked.

"Of course I trust you," replied Louis, a little taken aback. "You know I-"

Felix silenced him. "Then trust me on this, okay? I need more time. Because you're right about one thing, Louis. Colonel Tigh is an important man- too powerful to simply send out an airlock."

Louis sighed. "Alright. But I hope you know what you're doing."

Inwardly, Felix hoped he did too.

***

Felix entered the gym right behind Colonel Tigh. He hadn't gotten the signal for the meeting, but after he saw Tigh starting to sneak off after shift, he knew just where the man was going. Tigh seemed scared to actually chase Felix off, as though Felix would reveal his secret if he said anything. So Felix simply followed.

Tory Foster and Chief Tyrol were already waiting. They weren't happy to see him.

"What is he doing here?" demanded Tory.

"Lady, he's the least of your worries," replied Tigh.

"I heard there were refreshments," said Felix, trying to lighten the mood. "Did someone bring the cookies and punch?"

Tyrol and Tory just glared at him.

"No?" said Felix. "Oh c'mon, what's a meeting without cookies and punch? "

"Look, Gaeta, you have no idea what it's like-" began the Chief, running a hand over his head. He appeared twitchy, which was definitely beyond unusual for the Chief. If Felix had been a deckhand, he probably would have picked up on his cylonhood even quicker than he had with Tigh.

"I know exactly what it's like," Felix interrupted him. "That's why I'm here. I know it sucks. But it doesn't necessarily mean you're just like them."

"You mean like _us_ ," said Tory.

"I mean like _them_ ," Felix corrected. "Circuits and computer chips, that's only part of the picture."

No one looked convinced. Least of all Tory, who looked ready to tear him down. Either she'd picked that up from Roslin or she had been the perfect fit for the president to begin with. Felix made a mental note not to get on her bad side.

"So what do you guys do in these meetings? Play ice breakers? Tell ghost stories? Fold paper cranes?" Felix asked.

"Has anyone found out yet?" asked Tigh, pointedly ignoring him. "Besides the obvious."

"No," replied both Tory and Tyrol.

"Good," replied Tigh with a firm nod.

"What, that's _it_?" Felix asked, wondering if they could possibly be serious. Regular secret meetings just to find out if no one else knew? They definitely _were_ a different breed of cylon. None of Felix's type had ever been _that_ oblivious.

It was quite obvious Felix was not going to get any information here. He'd talk to Tigh again alone later. Possibly Chief as well, if Felix could get him on a good day. To think he'd passed up quality time with Louis for this.

"You all are no fun. Have a nice meeting."

***

"So?" asked Louis.

"Most useless meeting ever," replied Felix.

Louis laughed. "They must have all been CEOs in their former lives." Louis wrapped his arms around Felix's waist, pressing his front to Felix's back. "As I understand it," he said. "I believe there may have been a backrub interrupted in the recent past that may need resuming."

Felix grinned.

***

"I'm not sure why humans would want to make a game out of lying," said Caprica, scanning her cards that were taped to the glass of her cell. It wasn't the most practical way of teaching someone triad, all standing outside Caprica's cell with an extra speaker attached to the phone so the three of them could hear her talk all at once, but given that Caprica was their first cylon on board _Galactica_ not to be equipped with knowledge of the game, Felix felt the need to indoctrinate her. If she planned on sticking around, she'd need to know sometime.

"Nobody gets hurt by it. Well, except maybe their bank accounts," said Louis. "Felix, hand me a card from the deck would you?"

The four of them, Felix, Louis, Caprica, and Dee, all looked ridiculous standing there, Felix was sure, but that was becoming part of the fun. The marine guard had recently switched from befuddlement to amusement, and was starting to look like he might ask to join them sometime soon. Felix was considering a side bet on whether he would.

"I'm still not sure I get it," said Caprica. "Though I've found that humans aren't always a rational species."

"Rationality would really spoil the fun," said Louis. "I call and raise you five." As Felix and Caprica had no money to begin with, and Dee and Louis had very little left, little use as it was, the four of them were betting with Triad chips. Despite the fact that he was playing nice for teaching purposes, Felix's stack was still substantially larger than anyone else's. Being a cylon made him an excellent bluffer.

"I think I'm going to call," said Caprica, eying the cards taped to the window. Felix tossed a chip from her stack into the pile.

"I fold," said Dee tossing her cards on the table that Felix and Louis had finagled from the rec room. "Hey Felix," she said, now less than interested in the game, as Dee tended to get when she didn't have an active hand, "I heard a rumor that Captain Kelly was sent on the _Demetrius_ mission and isn't in the brig anymore."

"Oh?" asked Felix, folding as well. He hadn't been looking forward to the day Kelly was out of jail, but if the rumor was true, Felix wasn't about to complain.

"It's true," said Caprica, now studying Louis to see if he was bluffing. "I heard one of the marines mention it. He said spending two months on a sewage ship seemed like a good punishment to him." Felix chuckled, as did Dee and Louis. Punishment was a good word for having to be a part of that mission. "I just don't see how it's just," Caprica added.

Felix cleared his throat. "I think the system of punishment around here isn't based on justice so much as it is on usefulness. They aren't going to keep you in jail if they need you for something. Like um, it's why Colonel Tigh has never spent time in the brig, even when he probably should have."

"Are you saying they needed Gaius for something, then?" Caprica asked.

Felix shrugged. Dee scowled. "Raise you ten," said Louis.

Caprica was no longer paying attention to her cards. "Are you saying that I could be set free if they find me useful?" Caprica asked after giving it some thought.

Felix pondered her question. Had he gotten out of prison simply because the fleet needed another cylon intelligence agent? Or because they'd needed another body in the CIC? "I don't know," said Felix. "That's the other thing about not actually following military procedure. It gets unpredictable."

***

"Felix," said Louis.

"Huh?" asked Felix. He hadn't been paying attention to much anything since the middle of their Triad game earlier. He wasn't even sure how he'd managed to get back to the Agathon quarters without running into a wall or something along the way. Felix had always thought his role in the New Caprican resistance had been his ticket out of jail, but perhaps he had been wrong. And if he had, did his freedom still mean the same thing?

"Stop it," ordered Louis with a stern glare.

"Stop what?" Felix asked him. Louis shot Felix his classic "oh please" look. It was one Felix had quickly accustomed to seeing, particularly when Louis was around some of the not so bright officers that had flunked their way down to the _Galactica_ before the attacks.

"You did _not_ get out of jail simply because you were useful," said Louis. "If all the Admiral was using you for was intelligence, he wouldn't have needed you out of jail for that. Quit degrading yourself."

They'd had this discussion a number of times. Felix would normally give in, but not this time, not now. Felix wanted Louis to understand that not everyone saw things like he did. Maybe it didn't matter to Louis what he was, but the rest of the universe wasn't so species-blind. "I'm a cylon, Louis. One of _them_ , one of the enemy. You honestly think that's not going through the minds of everyone out there every time they talk to me, ask me to do things? Whether they should be trusting me or not?"

"Good gods, Felix," said Louis, rolling his eyes. "You don't give yourself enough credit! No, I don't think it's going through everyone's minds that you're a cylon. I certainly don't think about it. I doubt most people on this ship give it much thought either. You look human, you walk, talk, and act human, exactly what is there to remind people that you're not?"

"How about the fact that there were multiple copies of me torturing people on New Caprica?" Felix spat at him.

"A year ago?" Louis spat back. "That's the first thing that's coming to people's minds? Not you in that Colonial uniform you have on, not you saving our asses with that super firewall, not you playing Triad in the mess hall? They're all thinking about torture when they're laughing at your jokes, are they?"

"You ever think it might just be a cover up?" Felix yelled at him.

"You ever think some people might actually be genuine?" Louis yelled back. "When the frak did you become some sort of conspiracy theorist? Newsflash Felix: the whole universe is not out to get you! Maybe you like this whole 'lone wolf, me against the world' thing, in which case, I don't see what you're keeping me around for. I'm not gonna be your godsdamn sidekick in this, Felix! Either get with it or get lost. I don't want to deal with your bullshit anymore!"

"My _bullshit_?" Felix taunted. "First you tell me you love me, and now you've had enough?"

Louis stopped. "I what?"

Frak. Despite his anger, Felix realized instantly that now had been just about the worst time to bring that up. He hadn't even intended on telling Louis in the first place, let alone as something to use against him. "You told me you loved me," he whispered, ashamed.

"When?" asked Louis, stunned.

Felix felt the tension he didn't realize was building release, and shrunk back into himself. "A couple nights ago," he said. "In your sleep."

"Why didn't you tell me?" asked Louis.

"I was scared," Felix admitted. "I didn't know what to do since you weren't even awake. I thought it was just better that you didn't know."

Felix watched as Louis ran a hand through his hair and tried to physically shake off his frustration. "I…I had no idea."

"I know," replied Felix sheepishly.

"I just…" said Louis, searching for words. "I wish I'd gotten to tell you. Consciously. Because…I do. And I'm not giving up on you, not by any means. I just wish you could see what I see in you."

"I know," said Felix. "It's just hard. You didn't know me before. And while most of the time I look in the mirror and see a Colonial officer, there's that little part of me that still sees what I used to be. It doesn't go away, no matter how much I want it to."

Felix scuffed his foot on the ground. Louis said nothing, just stared at the ground, or off at the wall, just like Felix was doing, anywhere but each other. They stood in heavy, awkward silence.

Felix felt he needed to say something. "Sorry" seemed to trite, and not enough to apologize for the argument they just had, and the similar ones Felix knew they would have later. Yet he couldn't think of anything better to say either. So he just decided to stop thinking, and say whatever it was that came to mind first.

"I love you," Felix said.

Louis stopped trying to distract himself and wrapped his arms around Felix. "I love you too," he said.

Felix knew then and there that they would be okay, whether they had this fight again or not. It might not have been the ideal time to first say it, but those three words never felt so right.


	13. Chapter 13

Felix's day had started out well. The make-up/we finally said "I love you" sex that morning had been nothing short of fantastic, and things were quiet in the CIC as they had been for the past two weeks. Then that evening came the rather frightening announcement that Cally Tyrol was dead. It had been ruled a suicide, but something about it made Felix uneasy. Particularly the fact that her husband had recently discovered he was a cylon. Chief Tyrol had already beaten Cally once in a fit of delusional rage; there wasn't any reason he wasn't liable to do it again. If the cylon part of the Chief had gotten the better of him, Felix was certain that murdering his wife wasn't out of the realm of possibilities. If that had been what happened, the idea of keeping that man in charge of the deck crew was more than unsettling.

Felix went to go find Colonel Tigh after learning about what happened. He found him in his quarters. "Colonel."

"The Chief didn't do it," said Colonel Tigh.

Felix was surprised by the blunt answer, though not entirely surprised that Tigh would stand by the Chief. "What makes you say that?" Felix asked.

"He was unconscious at the time the airlock was activated," said Tigh. "The Admiral found him bleeding from the head and barely able to move in his quarters. I know what you're thinking Lieutenant, and he's not capable of it."

'You don't know what you're capable of anymore,' Felix thought to himself. But if the Chief had sustained a head injury before Cally had died, Felix knew he wouldn't have been able get down to the airlock, superhuman abilities or not.

Felix was about to leave when he smelled the distinct odor of alcohol coming from the Colonel's direction. He'd been hitting the bottle, heavily, which didn't make much sense to Felix. Tigh barely even knew Cally, and it certainly hadn't been the first suicide in the fleet.

Felix knew better than to question a superior officer, but he decided to ask Tigh about it anyway. "Have you been drinking, Colonel?"

"She's dead because I frakked up!" shouted Tigh, shoving an empty glass off the table.

Felix recoiled as the glass shattered on the floor. Surely this didn't have to do with airlock security, since Cally had full access anyway. Had Tigh told her? "Permission to ask for clarification, Sir," said Felix.

"I left a note," slurred Tigh. "I left a note at his quarters to meet us at the weapons locker. Cally must've found it and figured it out. It was sloppy. Not something an XO would do."

It was a stretch to think that Cally had committed suicide because of a note Colonel Tigh left, but not entirely implausible. Felix had already figured it out, and Tigh, Chief, and Tory weren't exactly as secretive as they liked to think they were. It would certainly explain the Chief's head wound. If Cally had intended to kill Galen first, instead of just injure him, Felix could definitely picture her having found out her husband was a cylon. Felix guessed the note didn't say who it had been from, otherwise the Admiral would have an even bigger mess on his hands.

Felix didn't really know Cally that well- they'd only ever started talking on New Caprica, and that quickly ended after he was revealed to be a cylon- but her death had still shaken him up, as it seemed to with everyone. It worried him even moreso now that it was not merely the result of something like a loss of hope in finding Earth or post-partum depression, but perhaps might be an indication of what would happen if the fleet knew about the final five. Felix suspected his decision not to tell the Admiral about what he knew had been the right one.

***

Even if the Chief hadn't been unconscious at the time, it became quickly apparent that Galen had nothing to do with Cally's death, at least directly. He was far too shaken up by it for him to have killed her. For the first few days, he was merely silent every time Felix saw him in the mess hall. Then one day he appeared with a shaved head, getting irate about the slightest thing, and randomly picking fights with people for no reason at all. All of the gossip on the ship became about the Chief and how he'd completely lost it. Most people said they didn't even recognize him and many said they were scared to even approach him. Felix would have tried to help, but he quite frankly was one of those people who was downright terrified of the Chief as he'd been behaving.

Felix defaulted to Colonel Tigh on the matter. In addition to Tigh being someone Felix knew was capable of handling just about anyone in any state of mind, Felix figured it might be good for the Colonel to have a project, something to keep him from dwelling too much on his newfound cylonhood. His ridiculous meetings surely hadn't been helping any.

"Is anything being done about Chief Tyrol, Sir?" Felix asked the Colonel.

"The Admiral's demoted him. He's Specialist Tyrol now," said Tigh, taking a swig from a bottle of something.

"No offense Sir, but I don't think it's going to help," replied Felix. "You're the only one who knows what's all going on, and I think he'll listen to you."

"Foster knows," said Tigh.

Just who anyone needed providing them therapy- a politician. "Colonel, he's going to hurt someone if somebody doesn't do something."

"I'll talk to him," grumbled Tigh. "Now get out of here Lieutenant."

Tigh hadn't seemed too enthused. Felix hoped for the both of them that this worked. The last thing the fleet needed were a couple of drunk, angry cylons.

***

Despite the fact that the _Demetrius_ mission was small, the absence of a few notable people made it easier for Felix to go to Joe's Bar during prime hours. Somehow people were much calmer without Starbuck around, not that that was at all surprising. The absence of a particular someone also made it possible for Dee to join him.

"Have you heard from Lee since his big move to _Colonial One_?" asked Felix.

"Nope," replied Dee, sipping her makeshift Cosmopolitan. "You know, if he's happy, then good for him. He deserves to be. I'm just glad I don't have to fight with him anymore."

Felix had noticed that Dee seemed happier these days without Lee around. She certainly wouldn't have come to Joe's very often before, due to the strong possibility of finding her husband here mopey and drunk. She seemed…freer.

"So did you hear the rumor going around about-" Felix started, before a pyramid ball came bouncing onto their table, nearly knocking over Felix's glass of ambrosia. Felix was tempted to be pissed, but then Dee started laughing uncontrollably, Cosmo nearly coming out her nose. It was difficult to be pissed after that.

"Hey Gaeta," shouted Brooks, a deck hand that Felix knew vaguely from New Caprica, "mind tossing that back?"

Felix smiled. It was surprising how people seemed to be warming up to him. Nice, in fact.

Felix tossed the ball back Brooks' way. Brooks gave a thankful wave, then went back to his game, and Felix back to his drink.

Of course, not everyone was quite so nice, as the table of _Pegasus_ officers nearby was reminding him. They'd been scowling at him since he and Dee had sat down. It didn't worry him anymore like it used to, but it was beginning to get annoying. Felix could certainly see how they were getting on Louis' nerves. Still, despite his relative lack of concern, there was that lingering feeling in Felix's mind that they might be out to get him.

"Oh forget them, Felix," said Dee, apparently reading his mind again. Felix had never been able to determine how she was always able to do that. "Did you hear about where Dr. Baltar is now?"

"No," replied Felix. "And why do you care? I thought you hated his guts."

"I do," stated Dee. "But it's just so ridiculous, I had to pass it along. Word has it, there's this cult that lives in an out-of-service storage bay on D deck. Supposedly they worship Baltar because of his book, or something like that. Is that not the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard?"

"Tell me you're kidding," said Felix in disbelief. Forgiveness for New Caprica was one thing, but worship?

"I wish I was," replied Dee. "I heard from Sergeant Erickson that some of the crew are even going down to hear him give sermons. I fear for the sanity of this fleet, I really do."

Felix certainly didn't blame her. "I propose a toast," he said, raising his glass. "To the fleet, may we not all lose our minds before finding Earth."

Dee raised her glass and clinked it against Felix's. "To the fleet."


	14. Chapter 14

Colonel Tigh had indicated that Felix should meet him in his quarters after his shift in the CIC that day. While it was obvious what the Colonel wanted to talk to Felix about, he hoped that the summons didn't signal any drastic emergencies. Felix also hoped Tigh had been able to calm down Tyrol. He hadn't heard of any incidents with the now ex-Chief, but that didn't mean there hadn't been any.

"You wished to see me, Sir?" greeted Felix as he entered Tigh's quarters.

"Sit down Lieutenant," said Tigh. That indicated this would be an informal conversation. Tigh liked to address people standing up. It was a widely used practice among the military, to keep anyone from getting too comfortable and complacent with their superior officers. Adama had never been fond of it, but Tigh always had been.

Felix pulled out the chair in front of Tigh's desk and took a seat. Colonel Tigh didn't sit down across from him. Instead, he was pacing the room.

"How do you do it, Gaeta?" Tigh asked. He certainly looked worse for wear, but also completely sober. "How the frak do you know you're not just going to…snap and kill everyone on this ship?"

If that wasn't directly to the point. Felix guessed this had been something the Colonel was thinking about for a while. "Well um," said Felix, pondering exactly where to start with that answer. "I know who I am. I know what I believe in. I think about that more than I think about the cylon side of me. I like to think that now that I know what I am, I'm in control of my own mind. I guess something could happen, I don't know one hundred percent, but I don't think it will. I have people that will keep me in check if I ever need it."

Tigh kept pacing, and it was obvious he was thinking about something. He went back and forth across the room a couple times before saying anything. "Should I tell Bill?" he asked.

Felix noted that he'd said "Bill" as opposed to "the Admiral" or "the Old Man". It struck Felix once again that that was why Colonel Tigh was having such a difficult time dealing with the fact that he was a cylon: his only close friend happened to be the guy in charge. Tigh had never been close to Felix, but Felix was the nearest understanding party he had.

"I'm not sure," said Felix, deliberating Tigh's conundrum. "He won't be happy that his XO is a cylon, but I don't know what he'll think as a friend. I'd say it's your call." It didn't seem to appease Tigh, as he still kept pacing, his brow furrowed in an expression of malcontent. Then Felix thought to add "If you need someone to keep you in check, I'll do it. Privately, of course." He meant it.

Tigh didn't look at him, but he stopped pacing for a moment. "I never liked you much Gaeta."

"I got that impression, Sir," replied Felix.

"Even before New Caprica. You were a brown noser."

Felix wasn't sure whether to be offended or to agree with the statement. Looking at his early days in the military, he had been a bit of a suck-up.

"Frankly," Tigh continued, "I like you better as a cylon. You've got guts and you know when to use them."

Felix wasn't entirely sure, but it sounded like Tigh was apologizing to him. It had been months since Tigh had beaten him to a pulp- since Felix had let him- but it was better late than never. It was more than he'd gotten from most people, and certainly more from the other person who'd made him her personal punching bag.

"Thank you, Sir," Felix replied.

"But I don't want you coming to me unless I ask for you, got that?" barked Tigh, now facing Felix directly. "If you think you need to speak to me, leave a note or use a signal or something. I don't want anyone sniffing their nose where they shouldn't and if it looks like we're all buddy-buddy, someone's gonna start poking around. And you don't let anyone in on our little secret, got it?"

"Yes, Sir," said Felix.

"Dismissed."

As Felix left Tigh's quarters, he couldn't help but smile. Whether he realized it or not, Tigh was going to be fine. It might take a while, but Felix imagined everything would be just fine.

***

Louis had brought a radio into their quarters. Felix wasn't quite sure why, given that there was only about an hour or two a day when the music the fleet's one station played was worth listening to, and they were often otherwise occupied during those time slots anyway. But if Louis wanted to indulge in a small luxury, Felix would let him.

"You need to hear this," said Louis, setting the radio down and turning it on immediately. Felix watched him change the dial to a station Felix knew wasn't the music channel.

"…unfortunately the gods cannot be blamed for not coming to your aid. It's not because they weren't listening. It's because they don't exist. The gods we've been praying to…"

"Is that _Baltar_?" Felix asked.

"You're damn right it is," said Louis, looking a little more enthused than Felix would like about the matter. "He's apparently a priest now. Can you believe it?"

"With Baltar, I think I'd believe just about anything," said Felix. "It's just the fact that people actually listen to this that I can't believe. Don't tell me you're thinking of converting?"

"Oh frak no," dismissed Louis. "I mean, I listened to one of his sermons the other day, and I think if the gods didn't exist, then you guys finding Kobol, and _Pegasus_ finding _Galactica_ , and the fleet finding the Eye of Jupiter would never have happened. I was just…thinking."

"Thinking?" Felix asked, wondering just where Louis was going with his line of thought.

"Wellllll," said Louis, smirking. He'd been up to something, clearly. "Since Baltar is preaching about a one true god sort of like what you've told me about the cylon god, then he must be okay with cylons. And if he's okay with cylons, then it follows that his flock is okay with cylons. Since we're about to lose our private quarters, I thought maybe, you know."

"You want to live with _Baltar's cult_?" Felix knew Louis had been disappointed at best about the upcoming return of the _Demetrius_ , but that Louis had devised something that insane worried him a little. That his reasoning actually made sense scared Felix the most.

"I bet they know someplace we could stay," Louis suggested.

"Louis?" said Felix. "You are out of your frakking mind."

Louis shrugged. "It was worth a shot. I'm just not looking forward to going back to officer's racks. Not that they're bad or anything, they're just…small. And I'm worried about you having to sneak around in order for us to continue sleeping together. I know you've still got issues with Kelly, and some of the _Pegasus_ guys still-"

"Louis," Felix interrupted him. "I think they've been on this ship long enough to know better than to do anything but grumble. Didn't you just yell at me for being the one who worries too much?"

Louis sighed. "It was a stupid idea, wasn't it?"

Felix laughed, then kissed him on the cheek. "Yes it was. But I love you anyway. We'll work something out."

"Could we at least use the bed one last time before we have to wash the sheets?" Louis asked him.

It was the best suggestion he'd heard all day.

***

Tigh looked uneasy. Not quite uneasy enough that it made Felix uneasy as well, but not something he was sure he wanted to pass off as a hangover either.

Felix looked around the CIC. No one else seemed to notice Tigh, which really wasn't much of an indication of anything. Most of the crew was simply used to the Colonel having moods. Complacency- it wasn't a good way for an army to operate, especially during a war, but it was a natural habit nonetheless.

Felix looked back at the Colonel again. It was probably nothing, he mused. Nothing more than the Colonel simply having a bad day.

Something started beeping. Something that sounded like an oven timer, or an alarm clock, or-

"Action stations!" shouted the Admiral, before Felix could even comprehend what was going on. "Set condition one throughout the fleet!"

Felix looked up at the console screen. There it was- big, red, and flashing right in front of his face- a cylon basestar. And it was right in the middle of the fleet.

Tigh began barking orders, and the CIC sprung into action, albeit slower than they should have. Complacency- apparently Felix had fallen victim to it too. So much for their two month vacation. Felix crossed his fingers and hoped this baseship hadn't just wiped out the _Demetrius_ on its way here.

"Baseship, bearing three three three karem four nine eight and fifteen MSU," Felix reported, reading the DRADIS.

"Frakking thing is sitting right on top of us," Tigh barked. He'd certainly be a lot more than uneasy now.

"Mr. Hoshi!" called the Admiral. "Order the fleet to make an emergency jump!"

"Aye, Sir," Louis replied. Felix didn't know how he could possibly be so calm. "All colonial vessels, jump immediately to emergency rendevous coordinates." A pause. "Sir, President's shuttle is en route."

"Tell them to land on landing bay one, checkers green," ordered the Admiral.

Landing a civilian shuttle in the middle of a battle, Adama had to be crazy to attempt it. Of course, they couldn't just leave them there when the jump drives on those shuttles were either nonexistent or iffy at best.

"What the frak?" Felix heard the Colonel mumble. That was about Felix's sentiment too. Talk about bad timing to have enemy contact.

Felix watched on DRADIS as the fleet began jumping away and vipers headed towards the baseship. "Baseship targeted, weapons free," Dee reported.

"Something isn't right," Tigh mumbled. Whatever he was seeing, Felix wasn't. Sure the baseship wasn't shooting, but just one ship wouldn't anyway.

"Gunnery reporting firing solution correct," reported Louis, now looking a little frazzled. Apparently it had taken a little while to hit him. "Main battery is standing by to fire on your command."

"On my command. Three, two, one-"

"Weapons hold!"

'Frak, I should've called him out when I noticed something earlier,' Felix thought, watching Colonel Tigh make a call based on gods knew what.

A blink on the DRADIS screen. Not another baseship. "DRADIS contact," Felix reported.

" _Galactica, Demetrius_ , do not fire." Helo. "Baseship is disarmed and under Colonial command. Officers aboard."

That little sewage ship had captured a basestar? Not possible. Felix picked up the comm. " _Demetrius, Galactica_. Authenticate."

" _Galactica, Demetrius_ , I authenticate. Bravo tango eight. Do not fire. Starbuck and Athena have control of the baseship."

Not. Frakking. Possible. Felix looked at Colonel Tigh. Had he known? Had he been programmed to know? Had Felix frakked up in trusting the Colonel?

"I've got an officer down on this ship," came Helo's voice through the comm. "Repeat, officer down. Captain Kelly has been shot."

"Dee," ordered Felix, responding without a blink. "Get Cottle on the line, tell him to have a stretcher ready. We've got an officer down, gunshot wound. Lieutenant Hoshi, get a medical raptor launched and tell them to make fast for the _Demetrius_." Felix picked up the comm again. "Helo, we've got transport headed your way and medical support ready on _Galactica_."

"Mr. Hoshi," ordered Adama. "Launch raptors, have them board the baseship. Scramble marines, I want as many over there as possible. I want to know what the frak is going on." Felix did too. He kept his fingers crossed that they weren't about to lose the bulk of their marine corps.

"Aye, Sir," replied Louis.

"Saul," said Adama. "I want you to go check it out for yourself. Go over there and get a firsthand account. Report back to me."

"Yes, Sir," the Colonel said with a salute, then turned on a heel to make his way to the hangar deck.

Felix's eyes went wide. 'No!' he wanted to scream. 'Anyone but Colonel Tigh! It's a frakking trap!' But if he snapped in the CIC now, Felix guaranteed he would be the one sent to the brig and not Tigh. He'd frakked up, big time, and now the fleet was about to pay for his mistake. He should've known better. He should've known not to trust a cylon.

Felix watched the DRADIS as the raptors flew to the baseship. Then he waited. And waited.

Then, after what seemed like a lifetime, but what the clock told him was a mere five minutes after docking, the transmission came over the comm. " _Galactica_ , Colonel Tigh. Baseship is in Colonial command as reported, the skinjobs are requesting a meeting, over."

Adama picked up the comm line. "Bring our people home. And bring whoever is asking back here," he said. "I want to hear what they have to say."

Colonel Tigh was still with them, and the baseship hadn't turned on their guns yet. Maybe it wasn't a trap after all. Felix still wasn't so sure. He'd hear the report later, about just how a baseship full of cylons had been conquered by a sewage ship. In the meantime, Felix wasn't about to trust any of the final five.


	15. Chapter 15

Felix and Louis had been tasked with commanding the CIC during a meeting that Tigh and Adama were having with a Six that had been brought over from the baseship. Felix had been given express instructions not to get on the comm line in any circumstances, even though the baseship's wireless was apparently broken.

After whatever this meeting was, Adama returned alone to the CIC and dismissed Felix from duty. For whatever reason, the Admiral was apparently hiding Felix from these cylons that had just shown up. Felix couldn't say he minded so much- while he'd been okay interacting with cylons on a one to one basis as of late, a whole baseship full of cylons was more than he wanted to deal with right now.

Felix decided to use the time to pack. He and Louis had decided, after Louis had finally been convinced, that they would bunk in officer's racks together. In the meantime, Felix would need to get his things out of Sharon and Helo's quarters.

Felix's plans for packing were thwarted, however, when Colonel Tigh cornered him in the hallway. "Lieutenant Gaeta. I need to speak to you."

Felix scowled. Tigh was really the last person he wanted to speak to right now. But he'd made Tigh a promise, so he would at least hear the Colonel out. Not to mention that telling the Colonel "no" in the middle of a well trafficked hallway would make it appear that Felix was disobeying the direct order of a senior officer.

Tigh directed him into a nearby storage locker, and locked the door behind them. "Frakking skinjobs!" he shouted as soon as the hatch was locked. "Those cylons want us to take over this resurrection hub and unbox some cylon who claims to have seen the faces of the final five. If it's true, then the whole frakking fleet is going to know. I thought the Admiral might have the sense to just blow the resurrection hub to smithereens, but he's actually going to trust those frakking bastards. Roslin thinks we know where Earth is."

"Do you?" Felix asked indignantly.

"Frak if I have any idea," said Tigh. "Maybe there's gonna be some other signal or trigger, but I'm not going to bet on it and neither is the Old Man. The worst part is that those frakkers want us to come back with them after the fleet is done with us. I'd rather go out the airlock than live with those toasters any day."

"Well then, I guess I'd start get used to the idea of an airlocking," replied Felix curtly.

"What the frak is your problem?" snapped Tigh.

"You magically know not to shoot at that baseship and you expect me to believe you're not programmed?" Felix snapped back.

"Because you're the one to talk about programming. If you knew how to recognize it, why didn't you know you were a cylon?" countered Tigh. "I made that call on a gut feeling. That's what officers do."

"Some gut feeling," Felix muttered.

"Hey!" barked Tigh. "Don't make me write you up for insubordination!"

"Exactly what would you be writing? That I was being wary of your cylon-ness?"

"I wouldn't jump to conclusions if I were you," said Tigh. "I turned out to be wrong about you."

Tigh walked out the door, leaving Felix standing in the storage locker. Whether he wanted to believe Tigh or not, Felix felt the Admiral had made the right call. If nothing else, revealing the final five would allow them to not have to keep meeting like this. The stress of secrecy couldn't keep building forever. They'd already seen the effects on Tyrol. Tigh would be worse.

For now, Felix had packing to do.

***

Helo was already there when Felix reached the Agathon quarters. Hera was also there and was clinging to Helo like she never wanted him to leave again.

"Hey Felix!" said Helo as Felix walked in the door.

"Hey man," replied Felix, walking over to shake Helo's free hand. "Welcome back."

"I wish it were under better circumstances. Sorry things got a little crazy," said Helo.

"Hey, listen, I don't know what you've heard, but I've got a mission to help plan. Would you mind keeping an eye on Hera until Sharon gets back?"

"Yeah, sure," Felix offered.

"Daddy, noooooooooo!" cried Hera. Felix felt bad for her. Two months without her parents, and they were off on business again right away. It couldn't have been easy on such a young kid.

"Hey, Hera, don't worry, mommy will be here soon," Helo soothed.

Hera wasn't buying it. "Nooooo!" she kept screaming as Helo passed her to Felix and attempted to pry himself away. Helo kissed her on the head and mouthed a 'sorry' Felix's way before leaving for his meeting.

"Daddeeeeeeeeeee!" Hera shrieked as the door closed shut. Felix cringed at the shrill sound.

"It's okay. Your mommy will be here in just a minute." Hera started bawling. "Hera, why don't you color some nice pretty pictures for your mommy? You can show her all the things she missed while she was gone." More bawling.

Felix decided he was never having kids.

***

After an excruciating hour, Sharon finally arrived. Hera, having run out of breath for crying, had finally taken up Felix's suggestion of coloring. Unfortunately, that had only been about five minutes prior, and Felix was more than ready to pass her off to her mother.

"Oh thank gods," Felix sighed when Sharon walked in the door. "I'm glad you're here."

"She been a terror?" Sharon asked, unbuttoning her jacket.

"Just upset her dad left so quickly," said Felix.

"Mommy!" exclaimed Hera, jumping from her seat and running into her mother's arms. Sharon looked exhausted, and Felix almost felt bad for passing Hera off onto her. Almost.

"Mommy, do you want to see what I drew?" asked Hera eagerly.

"Sure," replied Sharon, letting Hera lead her over to the small table strewn with crayons. Hera handed her coloring book to Sharon, and Felix watched as Sharon's eyes went wide. Exhaustion abruptly switched to rage. Felix wondered what a four year old could possibly have drawn to make Sharon so suddenly angry. He didn't have much time to contemplate it, because Hera decided to use that moment to run out of the room.

"Hera!" Felix called after her.

"Where'd she go?" Sharon asked in a panic.

"Just ran out of the room. She might be tired of being cooped up in here. Just probably wants to play hide and go seek or something. I wouldn't worry too-" Felix didn't have time to finish, because Sharon took off like a dart after her.

Felix took a look at Hera's picture. It was a bunch of faces- Sixes, it looked like. Lots and lots of Sixes, with another face that was presumably Hera. Why Hera would draw such a thing, Felix didn't have the slightest idea. Why it would make Sharon so mad, Felix also had no clue. Maybe something bad _had_ happened on that baseship.

Fifteen minutes later, a daycare worker brought Hera back to the room. Sharon was nowhere to be seen, and Hera looked a little spooked. Felix wasn't sure what had happened, and Hera certainly didn't look willing to share with him. That was especially evident when the daycare worker left the room and Hera began bawling again.

'Frak,' thought Felix. 'So much for packing.'

***

Hera had gone to bed by the time anyone else came through the hatch at the Agathon quarters. Felix suspected that whatever Sharon had gone off to do in a fit of rage might have resulted in brig time, but Felix saw no reason why Helo hadn't come back. The Admiral avoided launching missions late at night, to avoid having pilots fall asleep in the cockpit. It was also much too quick a turnaround, if they had just started planning that afternoon. Action stations hadn't been called, so they weren't under attack.

Felix had been too anxious for one of the Agathons to come back that he hadn't thought about sleeping just yet. He was tired, but still wide awake, when the hatch finally opened.

"Oh thank gods you're- Louis?"

"Who'd you think I was?" asked Louis as he walked in the door.

"Hera's parents," said Felix. "And be careful shutting that door, I don't want to wake her up."

"Oh, sorry," whispered Louis. He then shut the door a little more quietly than necessary. "You didn't hear what happened?"

"Should I have?" Felix asked, wondering what could possibly have gone on that no one had bothered to tell him.

"Well, Sharon shot a Six, killed her. And Helo was on the baseship when it just jumped away. Poof, gone," offered Louis.

Felix stood stunned, trying to digest everything Louis had told him in a mere three sentences. "Wait. You're telling me Sharon killed another cylon, Helo is missing, and the baseship is…where, exactly?"

"We don't know. And it's not just Helo that's missing. Dr. Baltar and President Roslin are both on the baseship too."

Felix's eyes went wide. The whole situation was starting to look more and more like a trap. Next thing he'd know, they'd have a coup on their hands.

"They need you in CIC. They're trying to find the resurrection hub. It's not where the cylons said it would be, and since Sharon's in the brig, you're the only one on the ship who can help," said Louis.

"Great," griped Felix. As if it hadn't been a long enough day already, now he had to find a ship he hadn't even seen in over five years. Felix grabbed his jacket and made his way towards the door.

"Hey!" called Louis. "Don't I get a goodbye kiss?" Louis put on a mild pout, and Felix knew he wasn't leaving unless he did.

Felix rolled his eyes, but obliged him anyway. A little affection was enough to ease his tension slightly. "By the way," he noted to Louis. "She might start crying if she wakes up. Just so you know."

"Felix?" said Louis. "I used to babysit in high school for extra cash. Trust me, I can handle it."

"Good luck." Felix kissed him again and started on his way to CIC.

***

"Lieutenant," greeted Colonel Tigh.

"Colonel," replied Felix.

"Mr. Gaeta," said Admiral Adama. "What can you tell me about the resurrection hub?"

Felix snapped into attention. He hoped the Admiral was ready for bad news. "Practically nothing. I know what goes on there, and how resurrection works, but where it is? It's not piloted by cylons, to avoid preference in choosing which cylons have access to resurrection. The hybrid directs it to an area where the most baseships are located. At this point, that means it's probably with the faction of cylons that didn't come to find us. And Sir, I couldn't tell you where those cylons are if I wanted to."

"Frak," drawled Tigh.

Adama, rather than showing disappointment, took to pondering. "The Six in the brig," he said after a moment. "Would she have a better idea?"

"Highly doubtful, Sir," replied Felix. "She's been with us too long. We'd need someone who came from that baseship, and my understanding is the only one we had is dead. Is that correct?"

"It is," said the Admiral, clearly expressing his disapproval of whatever had happened between Sharon and the Six. "We didn't bring over any more cylons, for our own safety. It seems we made the wrong call."

"If I may ask, Sir?" prodded Felix. "Why was I sequestered?"

The Admiral gave Tigh a nod indicating he should take over momentarily. He then started walking toward a corner of the CIC, a sign that Felix should follow. "Our sources told us the rebel faction of cylons consists of Twos, Sixes, half the Eights, and your entire line. We've also gotten word that they don't think very fondly of you."

"You didn't sequester Athena," responded Felix.

"She's different," explained Adama. "She has a child, one the cylons revere greatly. Apparently Doctor Baltar revealed, while he was being tortured, that you had been feeding the resistance information. The Sevens in particular weren't pleased with that fact."

So the Admiral had been protecting him. Felix couldn't say it surprised him any that the other Sevens didn't like him. He didn't like them much either. Unfortunately, if _Galactica_ was going to be pursuing any joint missions, Felix's life was about to get very unpleasant. At this point, Felix hoped that this _was_ all a trap. At least then they could blow the baseship out of the sky and be done with half the cylon population. "Cylons don't like to lose, Sir," Felix commented.

"No they don't," said the Admiral. "But neither do I. Which is why I intend to find that baseship."

The alarms in the CIC began to sound. "DRADIS contact!" called Dee.

Felix and the Admiral hurried back to the main console. "What have we got?" asked Adama.

"One of our missing raptors jumped into DRADIS range," reported Tigh.

"Are we sure it's ours?" asked Adama. All eyes were now glued to the DRADIS screen. The raptor was there, but it wasn't moving.

"Transponder checks out. One of the raptors that boarded the rebel baseship. No radiological signature," replied Tigh.

"Send Racetrack and Skulls to intercept," ordered the Admiral.

The report from Racetruck and Skulls wasn't good. A dead bird with a dead pilot. What it did provide, if nothing else, were the coordinates from its last jump. _Galactica_ was jumped quickly out to the location, but the news wasn't any better there. More dead birds, dead pilots, and this time, a large amount of debris. Debris, some of it viper parts, some of it baseship, some something else. They sent out a raptor to catch some of it for Felix to analyze.

Most of what the raptor had picked up was junk. Parts too small to tell anything at all. But one little piece was enough to let Felix know that the resurrection hub definitely had been there and was now definitely gone. It was a plastic filament, the kind used to encase the wires connected to a resurrection tub. As far as Felix knew, there was no other use for the filament. The mission had been successful. Whether the baseship with their people was the one that had been blown to bits was undeterminable. Baseships were built specifically to resemble each other exactly. Differentiating between any two was impossible.

Tigh was convinced the rebel faction and all the Colonials on board were gone. Adama wasn't. They split to discuss it, and to give the crew a rest.

Tigh returned to the CIC a while later, but the Admiral didn't come back with him.

"You're not going to like this," Tigh mumbled to Felix as he reached the center console. "But I like it even less."

Tigh picked up the comm, and put it on shipwide broadcast. "This is _Galactica_ actual."

The fleet was officially doomed.


	16. Chapter 16

As the hours passed, Felix wasn't yet seeing as signs of a cylon takeover . It didn't make him any less worried. Tigh kept glaring at him, willing him to calm down, but Felix was not taking any assurances, especially from the Colonel.

Felix took another sip of his coffee. At this rate, he was going to have to piss like a racehorse any second, but the coffee kept him from going off the deep end. Thank gods he had a coffee addict for a boyfriend, otherwise he'd have never have believed in the calming effects of such a heavily caffeinated beverage.

A blink on DRADIS. "DRADIS contact," reported Felix. "Incoming, bearing one eight five karem two niner niner at seventeen hundred."

"What have we got?" demanded Tigh.

"Cylon baseship. Another contact, same bearing. It's a raptor. Our people are back, Sir." Felix breathed a sigh of relief. There'd be no takeover for now.

Tigh went down to meet the docking raptor, leaving Felix in charge of the CIC. Tension has eased significantly in the CIC upon the return of the baseship, and Felix wished he could share in it. The Admiral was back, but there were still more cylons sitting closer than Felix was comfortable with. Until they were gone, Felix was not going to be able to breathe easy.

"Hostages" was the word that came very quickly up to CIC. Everyone in CIC looked upset, but definitely not shocked. Tigh reported he wasn't returning to CIC, but was headed to the situation room. He also requested, supposedly per the Admiral's orders, to have Dualla sent down to the situation room as well. Why Dee and not himself, Felix had no idea, but he wasn't about to test Tigh right now. Frankly, he felt safer up in CIC at the moment.

Dee seemed confused by the order too, as Felix told her what Tigh had relayed up. She grabbed a notepad and went anyway.

Tigh and Dee returned to the CIC later, along with the Admiral and the newly appointed President Lee. How Lee had managed that title, Felix did not even want to know. He'd already thought the quorum position had been a stretch. Now, however, was not the time to be musing about democracy. D'Anna was on the line.

"Mr. President, there has been a change of plans. I just executed the first of the Colonial hostages. And one will follow every quarter hour until our people come home."

"Alright listen to me," said Lee, after picking up the comm line. "You're not giving this a chance, we are cooperating."

"She terminated the transmission," reported Dee. Of course she had. They should have known this was coming. For all he could tell, this was the beginning of the takeover Felix had been anticipating. It struck him, briefly, that it was almost ironic that Gaius Baltar might very well be one of the first hostages to be executed.

Lee slammed the receiver down. They needed a new plan. What little faith Felix held in Tigh at the moment, he still hoped the Colonel would stop being a chickenshit and figure out something. Surely he had to know this would not end well for him whatever happened.

"Alright then Admiral, you're go for the rescue mission. If it fails," said Lee, with a heavy pause. "Destroy the baseship."

"Yes Mr. President," replied the Admiral. It was incredibly strange to see Adama taking orders from his son.

Felix was studying Tigh, who did not look thrilled with the plan. It was a good sign- blowing the baseship was the only sure way to save Tigh's ass, but that wasn't the Colonel's primary concern. Maybe Felix had been wrong in his assumptions.

Orders were relayed down to the deck and pilot ready room to begin prep. Suddenly Tigh began looking around the CIC, like he'd just seen a bug fly in front of his nose. Music, a trigger, he'd mentioned before. Whatever it had been, it was happening again, Felix was sure. If they were lucky, it'd be a magic Earth-finding trigger. More likely, Tigh was about to pull out his gun and start shooting.

Tigh asked to be excused from duty. Apparently the Admiral had noticed his sudden odd behavior too, and granted it. At least if Felix was about to die, he wouldn't be first. The Admiral then excused himself as well, for whatever reason Felix had no idea.

Fifteen minutes later, a very strange order came into the CIC. Strange for most people in the room anyway. Colonel Tigh was being placed under arrest and led to the airlock. Felix was being ordered down to the airlock as well to supervise. Felix knew then that he had jumped too quickly to conclusions about Colonel Tigh. The Admiral knew now that Tigh was a cylon, and judging from the nature of the call that had come in, Tigh had told him himself. In having done so, he might just be saving the fleet. Unlike most cylons, sometimes Felix didn't mind being wrong.

***

Felix arrived in the airlock shortly before the contingent of marines leading Colonel Tigh. From the second Tigh was led in, it was evident to Felix that this plan had been Tigh's, and not simply the Admiral's desire to get rid of him. Tigh was placed in the airlock without restraints. The Colonel chose to face the marines guarding the airlock entrance, and placed himself in an at ease position. Felix watched as Lee Adama walked right up to Tigh and punched him in the face. Tigh reeled, but then went right back to at ease.

"Motherfrakker," said Lee. "Who are the others?" Lee clearly needed to work on his intimidation skills.

'Tell him,' thought Felix, regardless of Lee's lack of authoritativeness.

"Where's the Old Man?" asked Tigh. 'Dammit,' Felix thought. What good Tigh thought it would do keeping them secret, Felix didn't know. They were all about to be revealed anyway. Perhaps those crazy meetings had put the wrong idea in his head.

"Right where you put him," replied Lee.

A call came from CIC- Dee indicating the baseship was in contact.

"Mr. President," Felix called over the intercom. He had to keep himself from laughing just saying it. "It's the CIC. D'Anna's on the line."

Lee looked at him, then back at Tigh for a moment, probably considering whether to deck him again. He didn't, however, and turned out of the airlock to come take the call. Blood wouldn't have looked good on the suit he was wearing anyway.

Lee picked up the comm without even looking at Felix, his eyes still on Tigh, considering his next move. "This is the President," he said. It was still probably the most bizarre statement Felix had ever heard.

"Mr. President, you're running out of time," Felix heard.

"No, you are," replied Lee. "It's your turn to listen. You harm another one of my people, you so much as blacken one of their eyes, and I flush Saul Tigh out of a launch tube." Tigh glanced at them, a thought that maybe he was reconsidering. But he didn't budge.

"We have no wish for further bloodshed," Felix heard. "May I speak with the Admiral?"

"No," replied Lee. "You deal with me. You have ten minutes to release my people, or you can kiss one of your precious final five goodbye." Lee clicked the comm back on the hook. Maybe Lee didn't show much authority with Tigh, but with the baseship he certainly had guts. There was a reason the pilots were in the best shape when Lee was CAG, and Felix could see why.

Lee switched over to the intercom. "You want to save the fleet?" he demanded of Tigh. "I need the others and I need them now."

Tigh looked at him through the glass, an unsure expression on his face. Felix gave him a nod. It was the right thing to do, the only thing to do. He hoped Tigh was realizing that now.

"Sam Anders. Galen Tyrol. Tory Foster," Tigh listed off.

"Arrest them," Lee directed the marines. "Now."

Very quickly, Tyrol and Anders were led into the airlock. Foster, as Felix had been informed earlier for a traffic report, had already joined the baseship. Tyrol came in studying the look on Lee's face, and Sam looked more like a frightened sheep following behind. "This is a wild guess," said Anders, addressing Colonel Tigh. "You told him?"

Tigh didn't blink. "We should've done it, day one."

Tyrol was studying the airlock now, perhaps looking for a crack, something that indicated faultiness and thusly hope. Felix hated to break it to him, but they'd specifically chosen the most reliable airlock they had on the ship. Hope of getting out alive wouldn't be found in equipment malfunction.

"Get the baseship on the horn," Lee ordered Felix.

Felix picked up the comm. "Dee, we need the baseship."

Felix was patched through to the baseship, and he passed the comm over to Lee. "Are you ready to come to your senses, Mr. President?" he heard.

"Galen Tyrol and Samuel Anders have just joined Saul Tigh in the airlock," said Lee. "They're in line for an express ride into a vaccuum. You want them alive? Stand down." Lee then hung up on the cylons again. If this was what Lee was capable of as a commander, it was a shame that hadn't been what he'd done on the _Pegasus_.

A few seconds of tense waiting, and then a light began blinking. A call was coming in on the comm. "Report," said Felix.

"Mr. Gaeta." Louis. That meant they had a situation on their hands. "Tell the president nukes are hot on the baseship."

Felix did a double take. "Louis, tell me you're kidding," he said through gritted teeth.

"Wish I was, baby. It's not looking good here. I hope Lee knows what he's doing."

"Mr. President, the baseship nukes just went hot," Felix reported. Felix hoped Tigh's plan worked, or else they were all doomed.

Felix could see Lee mentally debating for a moment. Then he pressed the intercom button and said, "Sergeant Harder. Clear the tube of everyone but Tigh."

'I shouldn't have hid it,' Felix thought. 'I did, and for what? Tigh gets the airlock and the fleet gets nuked.' Then again, if he had, what sort of bartering tools would they have now?

The marines cleared the airlock, Tyrol and Anders knowing they were next. Tigh gave Felix a nod. It was a quick 'sorry', a quick 'great to have known you', and a quick 'let's get this over with' all at once. Felix nodded back. Whatever respect for Tigh he had lost in the past few days, he had back now. They'd finally reached a plane of understanding. They weren't so different after all, Felix and Tigh. Both were cylons, willing to give everything for the good of the fleet. It wasn't fair, that Felix got honored for it and Tigh had to die for it. But the situation could just have easily been reversed; it just happened to work out this way. Whatever else happened, the two of them knew, and truly understood, why the other had done what they had. And in that, they could both be secure in the knowledge that someone else knew the truth.

Felix pressed the button to close the hatch. "Give me the key," said Lee. Felix handed it to him, his eyes never leaving Tigh. Lee placed the key in the drive and the warning alarm began blinking.

"What are you waiting for Apollo? Do it!" dared Tigh.

Lee was still hesitating on the key when Kara burst into the room. "Please stop! Stop. Those three frakking cylons just gave us Earth."

Tigh looked stunned and confused. Felix's demeanor was about the same. Magic Earth-finding trigger really hadn't been what he'd been betting on. But given the crazy last few days they'd had, perhaps anything was possible.


	17. Chapter 17

Felix had double, triple, and quadruple checked, and the frequency Kara had been rambling about had indeed been the only one on the channel. Based on the coordinates it was feeding them, Felix had plotted a course to the location where Earth supposedly lie. It'd only take them a day.

As the resident astrology expert on board, Felix would be the one to make the determination on whether or not the planet they found, presuming they found a planet where they were going, was Earth. Felix felt honored. Sure he was the only one fully qualified for it, but it still felt special to be the first person in the universe to know if they had found Earth.

The final jump was completed and there was no mistaking, based on the DRADIS readings, that they had found a planet. Felix set right to work checking the star patterns. "Take your time. Get it right," said the Admiral. The ship didn't have a complete 360 degree view, but when the scan showed nine out of the twelve constellations in the range they had, Felix knew this had to be what they were looking for.

Felix turned around, watching the entire CIC with their eyes on him. Then a grin slowly spread across his face. "Visible constellations are a match."

The Admiral picked up the ship-wide intercom. "Crew of _Galactica_. People of the fleet. This is Admiral Adama. Three years ago I promised to lead you to a new home. We've endured a difficult journey, we've all lost, we've all suffered, and the truth is I questioned whether this day would ever come. But today our journey is at an end. We have arrived, at Earth."

Cheers erupted in the CIC. People starting throwing their hands in the air, hugging and kissing each other. Louis came over to hug Felix. "We did it, baby," he whispered. Felix at first resisted the urge to kiss him, then decided to give in. Lee had already jumped onto the center console and was performing a striptease; no one was going to give a damn.

After Louis, Felix squeezed his way across the floor between the celebrating crowd to go give Dee a hug. He picked her off the ground and twirled her, just for the hell of it. She shrieked and started laughing. "We made it!" she cried.

Elation was the word of the hour. Even Captain Kelly, who had returned to the CIC that day with a slight gimp in his walk, shook Felix's hand. "Let's go see our new home!" the Admiral called out, which elicited another large cheer.

The CIC then emptied out, both with the large constituency headed for Earth, and those who were off to cavort in the hallways. Felix stayed behind.

"Not going down to see Earth?" Louis asked.

"Nah. I've had enough excitement lately," Felix replied. "Besides, someone's got to keep you company while you're stuck here in charge."

Louis laughed. "In charge of what exactly? I don't intend to discipline anyone."

"Just making sure the ship doesn't blow up, I think," replied Felix.

"Well. I don't want to get my hopes up too high until we hear back from the Admiral, so I'd rather not discuss what Earth might be like. Want to play I Spy?" asked Louis.

"What are you, six?" Felix asked, lightly smacking him on the arm. "I spy something…electronic."

"Oh that is so not fair."

***

When the Admiral called back roughly an hour later with only the words, "Mr. Hoshi, prepare the landing bay," Felix knew it couldn't have been good. Either the inhabitants were hostile, or the planet was unlivable. Felix hoped for the former, because at least that could be overcome, but he had a sinking feeling it was probably the latter.

Louis and Felix didn't go down to the deck to meet the incoming raptor, but when the crew started returning to the CIC looking very sullen, Felix's suspicions were confirmed. One of the crew stated that the raptor's pilot had told her the planet was nothing but a nuclear wasteland. "We might as well have stayed at home," she muttered before trodding off.

Felix's only thought was 'Now what?'

Felix left CIC and headed towards the navigational room, off to see if he could find some star charts to study for any star cluster than might look like it could hold a habitable planet. Before he made it there, however, he happened to bump into Caprica.

"Hey," he said, amazed to see her wandering around. "You're out of prison?"

"Yes," she replied. "They figured since cylons and humans were working together, it would be hypocritical to keep me there." She didn't appear to be happy about it, like she should have been. Since there weren't any conditions to her release, unamenable or otherwise, there was only one explanation.

"You went down to Earth?" Felix asked, realizing he was traipsing a sensitive area.

"Yes. It's not habitable. I'm sorry." With that, Caprica walked off, her gloominess following her. Where she would be headed, Felix didn't know. Perhaps, if Louis had been right about Baltar's cult, she was going to make herself at home there. He couldn't see her accepting an invitation happily, but living with an ex had to be at least marginally better than a prison cell.

Felix decided to abandon his idea of studying star charts. Even if he found something, no one was going to want to talk about work right now. Felix turned around and headed back to the CIC.

***

"Why did the Seven have his shirt on backwards?" Felix asked. The mood in the CIC, across the whole fleet really, was so depressing, Felix couldn't bear it. The dour mood was contagious, and it would just turn into a vortex of energy loss unless some of them kept their heads above the water. Felix and Louis had taken to telling each other jokes. Denial probably wasn't the best way to deal with it, but it worked for now.

"I don't know," said Louis.

"Because he liked being odd," ended Felix with a cheesy grin.

"Ugh, that was worse than your last one. I think I'm excusing you from duty, just so I don't have to hear any more." Felix frowned. Louis was going to go crazy if he stayed here by himself. "Seriously, Felix. Get some sleep. And don't worry about me, I'll have someone bring me a book. Hopefully things will be better in the morning." Felix doubted it, but maybe a few people would feel like working to get their minds off it all.

"See you tomorrow."

When Felix arrived outside officer's racks, he noticed someone humming. How anyone was able to be truly happy at this moment was beyond his comprehension. Felix entered the hatch that led to Louis' rack and saw Dee standing there. She was humming, and brushing her hair. And wearing a dress. Not just a dress, but her black dress. Dee only used the black dress on extra special occasions. She'd avoided her white dress ever since Billy was killed, so the black one had been the one she'd worn on the day she married Lee. Something didn't sit right with Felix.

"What?" asked Dee. She had apparently spotted him in her mirror.

"You're _glowing_ ," replied Felix. She was. Glowing with pure, unadulterated happiness. Which shouldn't have been possible, given that she just seen Earth that morning.

"Am I?" she asked, taunting him.

"Ugh, all I can think of is that waste of a planet." It wasn't entirely true, given that he'd just been telling awful toaster jokes in the CIC, but he wanted to bring Dee off her cloud a little. She was floating too high for his liking.

"Felix, please. I just want to hang on to this feeling for as long as I can." That explained it. If what Dee needed to rebound from a depressingly low low was to simply think about good things for a while, Felix wasn't going to get in her way. Everyone coped with loss differently, some people worked better with denial rather than wallowing in grief. It was the same strategy Felix had been employing a short time earlier. It had only been a few hours since she'd come back from Earth anyway; it was too soon to push her too much. Felix decided to back off and let her deal with Earth on her own terms.

Felix came up behind her, and, noticing the pictures from her childhood she had hanging in locker, said, "Hey, look at that. Little Anna's got her smile back."

Dee's gaze moved from the mirror to the picture. "Sometimes I don't even remember that's me. So long ago. She has no frakking idea what's ahead of her."

Felix didn't miss the double meaning of that statement. Dee was still that little girl, living in the moment with a future that could go just about anywhere. It wasn't always a bad thing. Sometimes an unexpected future could bring about very pleasant surprises. Felix had learned that firsthand. "Yeah. None of us do," he said hopefully. Maybe he'd work on those star charts after all.

"Have a good night, Dee," he wished her before heading off to the navigation room.

Felix shut the hatch door behind him and turned to go down the hall. A few deck hands were hanging around shooting the breeze, not looking too terribly down. "Hey guys, Brooks, Seelix," he greeted them.

"Hey," they all said, and went back to their conversation. Felix only made it a couple steps further before he heard the familiar sound of a gun going off. It sounded like it had gone off in officer's racks. Felix hoped desperately he was wrong.

He wasn't.


	18. Chapter 18

Felix was sitting outside the morgue when Louis came to find him. He'd been outside the morgue since they had brought Dee in. He couldn't bring himself to go inside. He didn't want to think of Dee as being just another body.

"Hey," said Louis. Felix didn't say hello back.

"I heard. How are you?" he asked. 'How the frak do you think I am, my best friend just committed suicide, you moron!' Felix wanted to shout. Instead he said nothing.

"Felix, talk to me. Please."

Felix still said nothing. The last thing he wanted to do right now was talk.

"She was my friend too, okay? Just, tell me what's going through your head right now," Louis pleaded.

Felix got up and walked away.

***

Going back to the CIC was the last thing Felix wanted to do the next day. But he had to, especially now that they were short a person. Some lackey got assigned Dee's old position, which only pissed off Felix more. Louis gave Felix a sympathetic look when that got announced, as if to say 'someone had to.' Felix just glared at him. Dee shouldn't have been dead to begin with. Wouldn't have if Earth hadn't been a mess. Wouldn't have if he hadn't left the room. Wouldn't have if the Colonies had never been attacked, wouldn't have if her best friend hadn't been revealed to be a cylon, wouldn't have if her marriage hadn't sucked. Wouldn't have, shouldn't have. Too many things done wrong.

There may have been some announcement about trying to find a home; Felix wasn't paying attention. He didn't give a damn. He had a home if he wanted it, he'd grown up on the baseship after all. But Dee wasn't getting a home. A lot of other people they'd started this journey with weren't getting a home. What made everyone left worthy of getting one? What right did they have to keep going?

Felix didn't feel like sleeping in Louis' rack that night. Louis would want to talk, want to know his feelings, or even worse, want to hold him. Felix considered his options. He couldn't go back to the Agathon quarters, not with Hera there. Hera probably didn't even understand what death was, and she certainly wouldn't know why people would be so upset about Earth being a shithole. He could go back to his old cell, but there was a chance Caprica was still there, and he didn't want to deal with her either. There weren't a lot of empty beds in the officer's racks since the return of the _Demetrius_ , but there was at least one. Felix debated between the awkwardness of sleeping in Dee's rack, or having to deal with Louis all night.

He chose awkwardness.

***

"You want to explain why you slept in Dee's bed last night?" Louis asked, having cornered him in the head. Felix was hoping to avoid him until they reached CIC and only had to speak to each other in an official manner.

"I wasn't in the mood for spooning," Felix replied curtly.

"Who said anything about spooning?" Louis asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Forget it Louis," Felix grumbled. He sensed an argument coming and hoped Louis would be smart enough to simply drop it.

Louis tried to put a hand on his shoulder, but Felix brushed it away. "You can talk to me, you know," Louis said, with a hint of dejection in his voice.

"Yeah well," replied Felix. "I really don't feel like talking. So just leave me alone."

Felix was done with this conversation. He dried his hands and left the head as quickly as he could.

***

Life in the CIC had picked up a little since Earth, but not by much. Unfortunately the one person who seemed to have a lot of energy was Colonel Tigh. His relative exuberance was pissing Felix off.

"Snap out of it, Gaeta," ordered Colonel Tigh, while Felix was staring blankly at the DRADIS console.

"Excuse me, Sir?" Felix replied, turning around.

"You look like you're about to start seeing ghosts on the DRADIS screen. Either snap out of it, or I'm having you excused from duty," said Tigh.

"My best friend just killed herself and you're telling me to _snap out of it_?" Felix shouted.

"You better watch your mouth Lieutenant," Tigh growled.

"Or what?" Felix demanded. He was being insubordinate. He didn't care.

Tigh looked like he might start shouting back, but didn't. Maybe he'd decided to actually be courteous. "You're excused Lieutenant," he grumbled.

Felix stalked off out of the CIC. He'd be back tomorrow, but he sure as hell wouldn't be feeling any more upbeat like they wanted him to.

***

"Hey toaster," ordered Captain Kelly the next day when Felix was in the CIC. "Hand me that report."

Apparently Kelly was back to his usual self. Felix walked over and handed him the paper without a word. He frankly just didn't give a damn anymore what Kelly called him. Sticks and stones and all that.

Just as Felix was about to head back to his station, Kelly decided he wasn't done trying to provoke him. "What happened to your friend, she couldn't handle hanging around a traitor anymore?"

Felix swiftly turned around and punched him square in the face.

"Don't you _dare_ talk about Dee like that!" Felix screamed, knocking Kelly to ground with another blow. Felix lost all control, taking hit after hit. The next thing he knew, Tigh had grabbed him and threw him back towards his station.

Felix could see just how much damage he'd done to Kelly now. There was a large pool of blood on the floor, and Kelly had suffered a broken nose and at least one black eye. 'Good,' was all Felix could think.

Felix was excused from duty yet again.

***

Felix didn't want to go out much. He really wasn't up to being social. It was probably better that way, as a lot of people were still angry and upset about Earth. Nevertheless, Felix still had to eat, and people would try to sit by him in the mess hall. First he started picking the table in the back corner, which most people avoided, but some still came anyway. Then he took to arranging the chairs so that none would be too close to him, and he'd have an entire side of the table to himself. When that failed, he just simply stuck to ignoring everyone.

There were a few who still pressed despite all of Felix's barriers. Sharon and Helo would sit with him and talk about the silly things Hera had done that day. Caprica ran into him in the hall once and asked if he might try to teach her Triad again. The more they pressed, the more Felix resented them. Didn't they get it?

Louis attempted a couple more times to talk about Dee. A few others tried to approach to him as well. Felix pushed them away every time. Talking wasn't going to help. Talking wouldn't bring her back. No one was coming back, no matter how good the living tried to make themselves feel. Maybe the others could live with it, but Felix wasn't sure he wanted to anymore. What was the point?

The further the fleet got from Earth, the more Felix began to notice other cylons around the ship. There were Sixes, Eights, Twos, and Sevens, cylons he hadn't seen since New Caprica, some he hadn't seen since his days on the baseship. Had things been different, he might have been outraged at having them there.

The way things were, Felix was jealous of them. Cylons who'd lived their whole lives on a basestar weren't like him, Sharon, or Caprica. They didn't feel; they had never learned how. They didn't feel grief, sorrow, despair. They just existed. Felix wanted that. He wanted more than anything to just turn off the hurt, to make it go away as if it didn't exist, to just be. But he had become too human. He felt it too deeply to tear it out. How blissful it must have been not to endure pain.

***

"Are you ever going to start sharing a bed with me again?" Louis asked one night when he happened to catch Felix alone in the officer's racks. He'd tried to feign sleep, but Louis hadn't bought it.

"I don't know, Louis." He was still sleeping in Dee's bed, not wanting to feel Louis anywhere near him at night. He couldn't handle affection. Mostly because it would force him to feel, and Felix was trying his best not to. He was robot; he didn't need to feel. Machines had no use for feelings.

"I feel like I don't know you anymore, Felix." Louis was whining. It sounded like whining to Felix, anyway. How could Louis expect Felix to be the same as he used to be?

"Maybe you never knew me at all," Felix replied, then rolled over towards the wall.

"What's happened to you, Felix?" Louis cried. "You're turning into one of _them_! I don't know what you are, if you're just this mindless zombie or if you're going to snap and turn into some violent cylon at any second. I'm starting to feel terrified of you, Felix. And I don't know what to do."

Felix rolled back over. "Well I suppose you could just reboot me," he snapped. "Though I don't know what you'll end up with if you do."

The look on Louis' face was one of disappointment, although with something more in it. Other people's emotions didn't seem to register as well with Felix anymore. Hurt, perhaps. Louis left the room, not looking back. It was hurt.

Machines didn't need feelings. But if they didn't, what was it tugging at Felix's heart?


	19. Chapter 19

Things started out normally in the CIC that day. More solar systems were crossed off the map as viable for a habitable planet, more ships were objecting to cylon labor forces. Felix was probably about the only one who saw it, but there was something ironic and humorous about the humans not wanting the cylons to work for them. If cylons had been so objectionable as servants fifty years ago, they wouldn't even be out here now.

The day before had seen its fair share of action, with the _Hitei Khan_ jumping away in protest of having cylon technology put on board the ship, but that couldn't have been anything the Admiral hadn't seen coming. Though perhaps having a number of well-accepted cylons on the _Galactica_ had caused Adama to forget that civvies didn't like cylons so much. Felix honestly hadn't been too worried. There was always _something_ ever since they'd found Earth.

Still, that hadn't made Felix prepared for what happened in the CIC. It started when Louis spotted an unscheduled transport on DRADIS. "Felix, I'm showing a launch, but we don't have anything listed in the flight log." It was pathetic that they'd been reduced to contacting each other over the comm instead of actually speaking face to face, but it was probably for the better.

"There was a medical transport that was scheduled for today. Laird might have rescheduled it and forgot to notify. See if you can find an update," Felix said, then hung up. As crazy as things had been on a regular basis as of late, it wouldn't have surprised Felix if people had gotten sloppy.

Less than a minute later, another call from Louis. "I'm not seeing anything, I'm going to call down to flight deck. We better hope it's not just a DRADIS ghost, because running a full diagnostic is just going to tie up our system."

"Yeah, not to mention we just did one three weeks ago." Felix hung up again. Part of him was hoping to run a diagnostic- at least then he wouldn't have to talk to anyone for a few hours.

Another minute later: "Felix, I'm not getting any response from the flight deck."

Felix turned towards the main console. "Admiral, we've got an uncleared launch, and the flight deck isn't responding to our hails," he reported.

"A raptor?" asked the Admiral.

"I believe so, Sir," replied Felix.

The Admiral turned to Captain Kelly, who was usually responsible for incoming and outgoing shuttle traffic aboard _Galactica_ , but had been tied up in odds and ends ever since… well, since Dee wasn't around anymore. "Captain, what have we got?"

"Probably just a DRADIS ghost, Sir," replied Kelly. "There's not anything scheduled and I'm not getting a transponder ID."

"Last thing I need," mumbled the Admiral.

"Four years without a pit stop, equipment's sketchy as hell," grumbled Tigh. "Mr. Gaeta, run a full diagnostic on DRADIS." Looked like he was getting out of having to talk to Louis for a while.

No more than ten minutes later another problem cropped up, this one a lot more serious than just a ghost raptor. "Admiral, I'm getting a fire warning down on deck C, near the main antenna array," reported Louis.

"Order the damage control team to C deck and have them report back to me with their assessment ASAP," ordered the Admiral.

Frak, that could be a problem. If the antennas were burned down, there'd be no way to communicate with the rest of the fleet. They'd have to relay jump coordinates over to other ships by hand, which, if the rest of the cylon baseships decided to show up, would mean the destruction of the entire fleet in a manner of seconds. With a number of cylons on board the _Galactica_ , maybe the fires had been deliberate.

"Admiral, you don't think this is a plot by the cylons to weaken our fleet?" asked Kelly. Felix raised an eyebrow at him. First the DRADIS ghost idea, now the cylon plot, the mind-reading was getting a little odd. Then again, it wasn't entirely a stretch to think the cylons might be up to something.

"No, I don't, Mr. Kelly," replied the Admiral. "But if there is a fire, I want it out immediately. Execute an evacuation order those sections of C deck, have one of the marines report when we've got everyone out of there and we'll shut off the air." Trying to corral civvies for an evacuation, that wasn't a job Felix was envious of.

Five minutes passed, then the all clear came in. Felix went to switch the vents on, but just as he was about to, Louis spoke up again. "Admiral, the fire warning's just been turned off."

"Godsdamn sketchy equipment," grumbled Tigh.

"Mr. Hoshi," Adama ordered. "Have the marine fire squad go check it out. Hold on shutting off the air until we get a full report back."

"Aye, Sir," replied Louis. Out of the corner of his eye, Felix could see Kelly getting a little jumpy. Of course, he had been a little jumpy anyway since the _Demetrius_. Felix might have been tempted to feel bad for him if Kelly hadn't started being such a jerk again after Earth. And if Felix hadn't been trying to shut off any feelings at all.

Then a series of calls starting coming in to CIC, but they were dropped before Felix ever saw Louis pick up his phone. One equipment malfunction in this short of time made sense, three of them didn't. Not unless there was a virus in their system, and Felix knew there couldn't be. Something was going on.

He didn't have much time to ponder it, because all of a sudden, Captain Kelly limped down to the floor from his post and shouted "Sergeant of the Guards, get your marines in here, no one gets in or out!"

"What the hell are you doing?" demanded the Admiral. All the marines' guns were cocked and loaded. Felix froze. It turned out the takeover Felix had been so worried about came not from the cylons, but from the crew of this very ship.

The next thing Felix knew, he, Louis, and Colonel Tigh were all being carted off to a prison cell.

***

He could've laughed. He would've laughed if he didn't know it would have gotten him shot. The cell the marines had led them to was the cylon holding cell. Months of loyal service to _Galactica_ and Felix ended up back here.

He, Louis, and Tigh weren't the only ones being held. Helo, Sharon, Hera, Sam, and Caprica were already there. Sharon, Hera, and Caprica looked no worse for wear physically and Sam looked a little beaten up, but Helo was another story.

"Is he alright?" Felix asked, looking at the blood trickling down Helo's forehead. It appeared someone had bashed in his temple. _Bleeding from the temple. A headwound, hole in the head, blood, brain matter_ -

Felix stopped himself. That wasn't Dee lying there. It was Helo. And he wasn't dead.

"Daddy got an owie," said Hera.

Sharon stroked her hair. "That's right sweetie. Daddy got an owie. But he's gonna be fine." Felix could hear the panic in her voice.

"Sit down!" ordered one of the marines. Felix sat. The cell door slammed shut.

One of the good and bad things about this cell was that, while the phone was still on the hook, no one could hear in. On the bad side, no one could hear the scream for help. On the good side, they could plan their escape and no one would know.

"We outnumber the guards right now; we need to start thinking of a way out of here," Felix began.

"Frak, Gaeta, we're not getting out of here," said Sam. "There's too many of them. Even if we take those marines, where the frak would we go next, huh?" He had a point.

Louis was wringing his hands. It had been a long time since he'd reverted to his nervous habit, or at least since Felix had noticed.

"Once the Old Man is back in power, those frakkers are gonna regret this," said Tigh. No one felt like continuing the conversation.

Felix closed his eyes and hoped someone on this ship still had sense.

The minutes passed by excruciatingly slowly. Closing his eyes and ignoring it wasn't helping at all, not when he knew Helo was losing blood next to him. Felix opened his eyes again and tore a piece of cloth off the bottom of his tanks. There wasn't enough to tie around Helo's head, but a compress would still help.

"Thanks," said Sharon.

"You're welcome," replied Felix.

Sharon and Felix took turns holding the compress to Helo's head. Hera kept poking at Helo's arm, to see if he might wake up this time. Tigh was pondering something, and Sam was nursing his own wounds. Louis had stood up and taken to pacing.

Caprica came down from the bed to join them. "Could I help?" she asked.

"Sure," replied Sharon, handing her the cloth. "Hold this against the wound, make sure you hold it tight, but not too tight. Just enough to stop the blood flow."

"It's awfully bloody already," said Caprica apprehensively, examining the rag.

"Yeah. Well," replied Sharon.

Caprica looked from the cloth, to Helo, then back at the cloth and tossed it aside. She then ripped a piece of cloth from the bottom of her dress and pressed it to Helo's head.

"Gods, what if they airlock us?!" exclaimed Louis suddenly. All eyes on the room were suddenly on him.

"Louis," reprimanded Felix. "There's a four-year-old here. Don't scare her more than she already is."

Louis looked at Hera and immediately washed over with guilt. "Sorry," he replied meekly and went back to pacing.

Felix scanned the room once more. What he saw weren't merely his fellow prisoners. Helo and Sharon, who'd been kind enough to welcome him into their quarters, even with a young child; Caprica, who he liked more the more he got to know her; Tigh, confidant and a man he respected greatly; and Louis, boyfriend who'd always been there for him no matter what the circumstances. These people were his friends. His friends, who he hadn't been treating very well recently. They'd done nothing to deserve his hostility. In fact, they'd given him nothing but support all this time. He'd lost one friend, but he still had so many more. He'd put himself in danger of sacrificing that. Felix was going to change that, starting right now.

"What do you think they're going to do to the Admiral?" asked Louis. He was pacing faster. "What do you think they're going to do to _us_? Oh Gods, we're all going to die, aren't we?"

"For frak's sake, Hoshi!" exclaimed Tigh.

"Baby, sit down," said Felix. He scooted over and offered Louis the place on the floor next to him. Louis still looked like he was going to jump out of his skin, but he sat down anyway. Felix put an arm around his shoulder and pulled him in close. "I love you," Felix whispered in his ear.

Louis started to calm down considerably. "Sorry," he said.

"It's okay," replied Felix. He hugged Louis and then went back to keeping an eye over the room.

It may have been a bad situation, but looking at it, Felix didn't mind being there. Somehow, that particular cell seemed like the perfect place for him to realize just what, or rather who, it was that mattered most. And they were all there with him.

***

Twenty minutes later, a series of loud gunshots indicated that the fight for the ship had reached their doors. Felix wasn't so worried about impending doom, since he knew the glass was impenetrable. Even if someone did break in, Felix was fine going out then and there, having made his amends to the people he cared about most.

The gunshots then stopped, and the hatch door opened. It was Starbuck and Lee, and they were heavily armed. The two of them quickly got the marine guards to stand down and hand over their weapons.

Starbuck came to open the door to the cell. "You guys feel like taking back our ship?"

Felix had never been so happy to see Starbuck in his life.

***

Officer's quarters were really quiet that night. After Felix's group had successfully helped Admiral Adama regain control of the ship, all the mutineers had been arrested. Felix didn't realize just how many people had taken part until he and Louis had come back to a nearly empty set of racks.

"I'm not surprised that it was mostly _Pegasus_ led, but it still upsets me," said Louis, slipping his boots off and tossing his jacket over a chair.

"And I know Kelly was pissed off about cylons, but I didn't think he'd go so far as to take over the ship," added Felix.

The only other officer in the room slipped out the door, leaving the two of them alone. "Did you mean what you said in the cell, or were you just trying to calm me down?" asked Louis.

"That you're a worrywort or that I love you?" Felix asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"That you love me. Are we okay again? I don't want to go back to whatever that was that was going on," said Louis.

Felix tossed his jacket on the table and wrapped his arms around Louis. "I love you. And I'm sorry about these last few weeks. It was inexcusable. You didn't deserve that." Felix kissed him, a long, slow, deep kiss, that he hoped would say all it was he couldn't verbally.

"I love you too," replied Louis, kissing him in return. Felix wasn't going to let this go again.


	20. Chapter 20

Having half the crew missing on the _Galactica_ was downright eerie. The CIC was far quieter than it ever should have been, as were the hallways, the mess, the rec room, and just about every other part of the ship. Felix knew everyone was just over on the _Astral Queen_ and hadn't all died, but it still felt wrong.

What was perhaps even weirder was that with all the objectors gone and _Galactica_ desperately needing work, the number of cylons on board the ship increased significantly. Felix hadn't really interacted with another Seven since New Caprica. As it turned out, they still freaked him out about as much now as they did back then. But at least he wasn't the only one.

"Okay, I've known you were a cylon and all, but seeing all these other copies of you walking around is just frakking _creepy_ ," said Louis. They were hanging out at Joe's, which was also far, far quieter than it should have been, but was at least a bit more amenable without the _Pegasus_ bunch around. It was also the only place on the ship no cylon (besides himself, Sharon, and the final five) would dare go. Even the memorial hall wasn't safe anymore.

"Tell me about. I liked being an individual, but it looks like I can kiss that goodbye," Felix complained. "Are we going to need to set up some sort of code to know it's me and not another Seven, or are we good?"

Louis chugged the last of his ambrosia. "Well, you're the only one who's ever in military garb. Though I think I might be able to tell you apart if you decided for some reason to start dressing like a civvie. I can't explain it exactly, but there's something that sets you apart from all the rest of them. You carry yourself differently, or something."

"Cottle said something like that a long time ago back on New Caprica," Felix mused. "It astonished me then, but I don't think it does anymore. I'm glad I'm not like them, even if they are supposedly our allies."

"Speaking of which," said Louis. "Are any of them speaking to you yet? I heard they were pretty pissed at you."

"Well, they're calling me Felix now, so that's a start," said Felix. He waved over at Joe, indicating another round of drinks. "Honestly I think they're more fascinated with Sharon, what with Hera and all. I'm happy they're not hanging around me, but I feel bad for her and Helo."

"We'll have to rescue them and play Triad sometime," replied Louis.

"Agreed," said Felix.

A pyramid ball came rolling across the floor by Felix's feet. Felix picked it up and was about to toss it back with a sarcastic comment, until he saw who had been playing with the ball. It wasn't a couple of deckhands or pilots as was usual, but two young boys, both around ten if Felix had to guess. They were a part of _Galactica_ 's civvie contingency, Sagitarron most likely. And they looked petrified of him.

Felix wondered if he should toss the ball back at all, if they'd just start running if they were afraid he was aiming at them. The kids probably thought he was one of the cylons from the baseship. He imagined that the sudden appearance of so many cylons had been even harder on the civilians, who didn't understand the military rationale for having them on board. It probably hadn't been too unlike New Caprica, a bunch of cylons just showing up without warning. Plus, the civilians couldn't avoid the skinjobs as easily as the people with full access to the ship could. It was probably what had brought the kids over here to begin with, to an area normally only occupied by military personnel.

Felix opted for an underhanded toss. The boys both flinched, but neither of them ran. One of them caught the ball and studied Felix apprehensively. Felix gave a small wave, to indicate he meant them no harm. Both of them still looked unsure, but apparently decided Felix wasn't out to get them and dashed back to their game.

Felix had been lucky that he'd wound up on _Galactica_ and not another ship. Civilians didn't view cylons the same way the military did; civvies didn't think about the potential strategic assets. The mutineers had been a little extreme, but Felix realized that maybe they had a point. This fleet was going to take a lot more convincing to accept an alliance with the cylons. Felix still wasn't even so sure of it himself. And he was a cylon.

***

Work on _Galactica_ was slow going, not to mention so far completely ineffective. Felix thought Chief Tyrol was a moron for even suggesting the use of cylon reinforcement paste on a man-made ship, but since Chief was a member of the final five, his word was as good as gold with the brass. It worried Felix a bit, just how much stock everyone was putting in the words of the final five, even after Earth. The only one Felix was willing to trust without question was Tigh, but that was because the man was XO, and also knew not to try and speculate beyond his abilities.

Felix got especially worried that the higher-ups were so trusting in the final five when, about a month after the mutiny, the fifth cylon finally showed up in a raptor. There was no frakking way _Ellen Tigh_ was the most knowledgeable person in the universe.

Whatever Ellen's credibility on advice-giving, the one thing Felix did appreciate from her was that he was finally able to get some answers as to who and what exactly the final five were. Unfortunately, the first answer he got didn't come from Ellen herself.

"Felix, have you heard?" asked a Seven, practically accosting him in the hallway. By the look of excitement on his face, Felix wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"Heard what exactly?" Felix asked apprehensively.

"About the five. They're our creators, the ones who gave us these forms," he said, showing Felix his hands as if Felix had never seen a pair before. "They're our parents."

Felix wished instantly he hadn't asked. "No, I hadn't," he replied. The cylon kept talking, saying more about Earth and the temple of five and whatever else, but Felix couldn't listen. All he could think about were those two words- "our parents." The phrase that sent waves of nausea pulsing through him. Colonel Tigh, Ellen, Galen, Sam, Tory- people who'd simply been coworkers, bosses, friends, and adversaries for the last two to six years were now his relatives. His _parents_ , people who, as Felix had interacted with them, had little to no parenting skills whatsoever. Felix wished he could have his false memories of a normal family back.

"Would you excuse me?" Felix pardoned himself, needing an escape. He couldn't take any more of the Seven's excitement. If the skinjobs had actually _known_ the five, Felix had a feeling they probably wouldn't be so thrilled.

He _really_ wished he hadn't asked that Seven anything.

***

"Felix, I think your water allotment is up," called Helo over the sound of the shower.

Felix was starting to wrinkle, and he was freezing from the cold water, but he still didn't feel _clean_ enough. "Ellen Tigh is my mother," he cried.

Helo walked into the shower Felix was standing in and turned off the water. "Hey c'mon," he said. "You're not blood related."

"Thank gods for small favors," chattered Felix, shivering. He was even colder now that the water was off.

Helo handed him a towel. "If it's any consolation, Sharon's a little freaked out too."

Felix accepted the towel and wrapped it tightly around himself. Even so, he still kept shivering. "Why aren't you with her then?"

"She's on duty," Helo replied. "But I'm telling you the same thing I told her. They just made the prototype. They didn't make _you_. Alright?"

Sure, he'd just been put together in a tub of goo. But the five were the ones who picked out what he was going to look like. All the parts of him that Louis gave extra attention to in bed could very well have been the brainchild of Chief Tyrol. Helo's advice wasn't helping.

Given that Felix was standing there naked and freezing, he didn't want Helo to stay there trying to convince him. "Sure," he said, feeling none the better, and maybe even a little worse, than when he'd gotten in the shower in the first place. He'd probably never be able to look at any of the five of them again.

Helo left to go pick up Hera, and Felix proceeded to get dressed. He was just about to sneak off back to his rack when Louis walked in.

"Hey," he said. "I just passed Helo in the hall, he said I could find you here."

"Yeah, I was just taking a shower," Felix replied as casually as possible. He wasn't sure if Louis knew, and if he didn't, Felix didn't think he could explain it all without wanting to get right back in that shower.

"Are you alright?" Louis asked. "You're not going to start calling Colonel Tigh 'dad' or anything like that?"

"You heard," Felix replied. At least now he wouldn't have to explain.

"Yeah," said Louis. "One of the Sevens found me, he said he had to tell me since I was dating you, or something like that. I don't know, I try to avoid those guys whenever possible. Anyway, I didn't think you'd take that sort of news well."

"I think I liked not knowing what the final five were better," replied Felix.

"Well look at it this way," suggested Louis. "The cylons used to consider themselves humanity's children. Think of who you could've considered your parents then."

When Felix thought about it, Louis had a point. He could've considered Starbuck his mother or, even worse, Louis his father. In that case, just having those five be his creators was a lot better.

"How about I get you drunk and we forget about it?" suggested Louis.

That always worked too. "Please," said Felix. He probably should have started there to begin with. Felix hoped Joe's had enough alcohol on hand. It was going to take a lot.

***

The next day, Felix discovered he hadn't been the only one trying to drink to his troubles away. Despite the massive hangover he had, he was still able to tell that the Colonel had been drinking quite a lot. The Admiral noticed as well, but like when it came to most other things, he didn't seem to care. _Galactica_ was so seriously frakked up these days, it didn't seem like anything was going to help put things back in place. Tigh drinking again was about as close to normal as anyone got. Felix hoped they better find a decent planet soon, or else they were all going to go insane.

More evidence that things had gone completely topsy-turvy came after his shift, when Helo approached him and asked if Felix and Louis wanted to join him at one of Baltar's sermons. What in the name of the gods had possessed Helo and Sharon to join the Cult of Baltar, Felix couldn't begin to guess, but by this point, nothing seemed completely unbelievable.

Felix was about to say no to Helo's invitation, but curiosity got the better of him. He'd never listened to one of Baltar's sermons in full, and wondered what it was he was saying that was getting people like Helo and Sharon, those Felix considered to be on the sane side, to convert. It also didn't seem too farfetched that Helo would be doing this to help Felix deal with the news about the final five. Felix had read Baltar's book; it was clear Baltar didn't exactly like his parents either.

When Felix arrived with Louis at Baltar's storage bay, he was surprised to see so many people he knew there. Helo and Sharon were there, and Caprica was sitting next to them. Felix also spotted Hot Dog with Nicky, Dragon, Specialist Figurski, as well as a number of other _Galactica_ staff. It almost seemed that everyone who wasn't a part of the mutiny had come down here. The room was already packed to the brim. Obviously something Baltar was saying was compelling.

Felix quietly sat down next to Caprica on a plush ottoman. If nothing else, Baltar seemed to have everyone beat on furnishings. Felix spotted a few of the cylon contingent off to one side. It was mostly Twos, which didn't stun Felix in the slightest. They did, however, seem to be a bit excluded from the rest of the listeners, which seemed a little odd to Felix. He'd been picturing the group of Baltar's followers to be cylon-tolerant, though perhaps it had actually been just Gaius himself.

Gaius was down in the center of the room, microphone in hand. Subtely he turned it on and the whole room instantly went quiet. "Friends," he began. "Recently this ship has seen the return of the last member of what we've all come to know as the Final Five cylons." At least Felix had been right about one thing so far: Helo's motivation in bringing him here.

Baltar continued. "I'm sure you've heard a lot about these five people. Some of it true, some of it not. But let us dispel one rumor: these people are not gods. There is only one god. These five are, as are we all, children of the one true god. Are they chosen among us to serve some special purpose, you ask. What is it that makes one chosen by God? Are we not all chosen by him for one reason or another, to fulfill our own destinies, to serve our own life's purpose? We are all equal before God, none of us is greater, or more worthy in his eyes. We are _all_ God's children. We are all recipients of his love."

Baltar continued for a good twenty minutes on what it meant to be 'chosen' by God. Felix wasn't convinced, but he could easily see how so many people would be. Equality, love; the things Gaius emphasized were things no one could argue were bad. Felix found, on occasion, that Baltar even had a point about some things. But Felix realized the one thing really bringing people down here wasn't what Baltar was saying, but simply that he was saying anything at all. The President had stopped trying to convince people she was the dying leader, and Adama was a man without a purpose. After Earth, people were running out of places to find hope, and Baltar had become the last avenue for it.

Felix decided, however, that he wasn't going back. Listening to Baltar go on and on about the one true god, Felix determined that he was and forever would be an atheist. One god, many gods, it didn't matter; if there had been any gods at all, they wouldn't have let such terrible things happen to so many people. Putting someone through endless suffering seemed like a terrible way to let them know you loved them.

No, there was no god. The only way out from under was their own determination.

***

The pleasant mood his friends had been after the sermon was quickly erased the next day. God's love and chosen people didn't matter anymore: Hera was gone. Felix would have been the first to have gone to comfort his friends, had Boomer not blown a hole in the hull of the ship. As it were, he needed to stay in the CIC to ensure the ship didn't implode from loss of pressure. Admiral Adama and Colonel Tigh would deal with the kidnapping.

Adama returned to the CIC obviously furious. Felix was expecting him to order a rescue mission right away, but instead, the first thing he asked was "Mr. Gaeta, has the hull breach been fixed?"

"Yes, Sir," Felix replied. "But it's not the most stable. I don't think the cylon resin is helping, Sir."

"It's not," said the Admiral. "Which is why we're abandoning ship."

Felix's eyes went wide. 'Abandon _Galactica_?' he thought. 'Now? And go where?' They hadn't even found a planet yet.

Adama continued. "Once the baseship's been prepared, all our military operations will be moved over there. The civilians will be relocated to other ships."

"Why haven't I been informed of this, Sir?" Felix asked. It seemed far too important for the Admiral to have simply forgotten.

"People are being informed as they need to know," said the Admiral before walking off. Felix wondered exactly when "need to know" was. When they were on a raptor heading towards the baseship?

Felix noticed the Admiral had said nothing about a rescue mission for Hera. Surely that had to be their number one priority at the moment. Felix briefly left his post to inquire about it.

"Admiral," he called after Adama. "Should we start planning the rescue mission?"

"There is no rescue mission," stated the Admiral. "We don't know where the Colony is, and I'm done chasing after prophesies and visions. We've all lost people we love on this journey. That's just a fact." The Admiral turned and walked away again.

Felix was in shock. Hera wasn't dead. The Admiral really was just going to leave her to the enemy? They had spent days hovering over a moon looking for Starbuck and they weren't going to bother with Hera? This was how he was paying back Sharon and Helo for all their loyal service? Sharon, who gave up everything to come here and this is what she got in return?

Now it was Felix's turn to be furious. He decided to take it up with Colonel Tigh.

"Colonel, are you aware that the Admiral is refusing to plan a rescue mission for the Agathon's daughter?" he demanded, after he'd located the Colonel.

"The Old Man sent out a heavy raider to see if they can locate the Colony. If they find something, I guarantee he's going to plan a rescue," the Colonel explained. "We can't go on a mission without any intel, you know that Lieutenant."

Felix felt at least somewhat relieved. It wasn't like the Admiral was doing nothing. Still, it didn't seem like enough. Felix cleared his throat. "I beg your pardon, Colonel," he said. "But wasn't our mission to find Earth undertaken without any intel?"

The Colonel gave him a look of disdain- not towards Felix, but towards the whole situation. Apparently Tigh wasn't happy about it either. "There've been a lot of people trying to convince the Old Man to go. He's not willing to argue. I would drop it if I were you."

Frakked up. That was all Felix was willing to say about _Galactica_ these days. Just plain frakked up.


	21. Chapter 21

Adama had finally let word out to the crew that they were abandoning ship. It was sad to see, _Galactica_ being packed in to boxes and its shell simply left to die. Turning _Galactica_ into a museum hadn't been this hard to deal with. At least then the memory of the ship was being preserved. Now it felt like they were discarding it all. Felix imagined that he now knew what Louis had felt like when the _Pegasus_ was destroyed. It just felt wrong to let it all go.

Felix didn't do much packing himself, but was instead in charge of shuttle traffic between _Galactica_ and the baseship. Every time a shuttle was scheduled to leave, a flightplan would come to him with the inventory of everything the ship was taking. Weapons, viper parts, tools, maps, bed sheets, kitchen utensils, just about everything Felix could think of and things he wouldn't have even thought were needed for a battlestar were all leaving, raptor by raptor. Felix guessed he probably had the most depressing job in the entire ship at the moment.

Louis was in the CIC as well, doing whatever it was that could possibly need doing, as short staffed as they were. Caprica was helping to pack storage containers with whoever would let her. Helo and Sharon hadn't been heard from in a while; they avoided public places whenever they weren't on duty and hardly spoke to people when they were, and every time Felix knocked on their door, they never answered. He'd heard them fighting once. Helo had been yelling to get Sharon to listen, and Sharon yelled that talking wasn't going to help. It was the same fight he and Louis had had after Dee died; Felix knew to keep out of it.

Felix had heard a rumor that Sam Anders was now a hybrid thanks to a brain injury he sustained during the mutiny and some experimenting on the result of the cylons. He hadn't been down to see if it was true. He'd honestly been surprised Starbuck would ever let the cylons experiment on Sam. It seemed like such a bad idea. Felix had never heard of a cylon experiment that didn't end horribly or without significant pain on someone's part. He was too nervous to investigate what they were doing now.

Felix hadn't yet been over to the baseship, and he hoped to delay setting foot there for as long as absolutely possible. He knew that once he was over there, brass and senior staff would be counting on him to guide and orient them, none of them having any idea how a baseship was organized, how it operated, or how to tell one room from another. It meant Felix would have a be a cylon again, in a way he hadn't been since he'd ended up in a resurrection tub on New Caprica. Now it simply wouldn't be the cylons who expected it of him, it'd be the humans too. Only, the baseship was almost as strange a beast to him as it was to any human. It wasn't home to him, he wasn't part of that society anymore. He'd already crossed back over the line between human and cylon recently, and he didn't want to do it again.

***

Felix spent his evenings avoiding any of the packing that was going on, or at least tried to. After Joe's Bar got packed up and was relocated to the _Zephyr_ , finding someplace that wasn't being packed and shipped was next to impossible.

Despite his attempts to avoid any and all activities involving deconstructing the ship, there was one item that Felix felt compelled to pack up himself. Photos at the memorial wall weren't being transported in bulk, but were instead being claimed on an individual basis. The memorial wall was one thing that was dying with _Galactica_ ; putting it up on the inside of a baseship seemed like an insult to everyone on it.

Felix came to the memorial hall to claim Dee's picture. He hadn't been to the hallway since he'd put the picture up; it simply being too painful for him. He didn't like to think of his best friend as just another photograph lost among a sea of the dead.

Felix wasn't the first one to come claim a picture from the wall. Instead of being completely covered as it had been the last time Felix had seen it, the wall was more sporadically covered, equal parts blank space and photographs. All the candles and incense had been snuffed out, their lingering scent quickly fading. A number of other people were coming in and out of the hallway, each grabbing no more than the couple pictures, an attempt to save their friends and family from oblivion. The only person Felix saw who was amassing a larger pile was Hot Dog. He had Nicky in one arm, a stack of photos in the other, and was carefully scanning the wall for people to add to his pile. When Felix saw him reach for a picture of Chuckles, he realized that Hot Dog was looking for pilots. Most of the viper jocks and raptor wranglers were over on the _Astral Queen_ and weren't able to come by and claim their old friends.

Felix looked over the wall again. Pilots weren't the only ones who were being left unclaimed. A number of old deck hands, marines, and CIC staff were still up as well. Some of them had perished as recently as the mutiny, others had been killed in the initial attack on the colonies, and the rest anywhere in between. Some people Felix hadn't even thought about in years. Felix looked over at Hot Dog again, struggling to honor his sense of loyalty to his fellow officers while balancing a child on one arm. There was no question about it, it was simply the right thing to do. Felix took Dee's picture off the wall and slipped it into his jacket, then joined in Hot Dog's quest, taking down all of _Galactica_ 's former crew and amassing them into a pile.

Hot Dog caught on to what Felix was doing, and began taking everyone else down as well, separating them into piles by job responsibility. They worked silently, creating stacks on a spare ledge where someone's candles had been. Felix spotted a picture of Hera on the wall, and thought briefly about taking it down. He decided against it in the end: Sharon or Helo would surely come down for it and would want to claim it themselves. Felix didn't know how long they were there, but neither he nor Hot Dog left until every one of _Galactica_ 's and _Pegasus_ 's identifiable staff were off the wall.

Hot Dog picked up the stack of pilots he had started on when Felix had arrived. "Do you mind distributing those?" he asked, nodding his head in the direction of the rest of the stacks. "I would, but I've got Nick here, and he's getting a little fussy."

"Sure," replied Felix, picking up the remainder of the photographs. He'd find someone to care for all of them.

Felix was headed for the racks to find representatives of each division when he stopped with a thought in his head. There was one more picture he needed to get.

Felix turned around and headed back to the memorial wall. He hadn't seen the picture since New Caprica and didn't even know where he'd find it on the ship. He didn't even know who they really were. But even though they weren't his family as he'd long believed, they'd still likely been someone's family.

Felix found the picture next to a section of people who had died on New Caprica. Even though his memories were fake, the people in the picture were at least remembered in some way, which was more than could be said for a number of the pictures still left there. It just didn't feel right to leave them there as well, lost and forgotten. Felix took down the picture and left the memorial wall, for what he knew would be the last time.

***

Finding fitting representatives for the deckhands, marines, and CIC had been easy once Felix got back to the racks: everyone was busy packing up their lockers so a lot of people were milling about. There were a few medical staff photos Felix had collected; those he brought down to Cottle in sickbay. The last stack Felix had left was _Pegasus_ brass: Admiral Cain, Commander Fisk, Commander Garner, Captain Shaw, and a few people obviously _Pegasus_ , but who no one Felix found could identify. There was only one person Felix could even think to give them to.

Louis was in the CIC, manning the con while Adama and Tigh were busy packing. Felix spotted him bent over the center console, hard at work on something. As he approached, he could see that it wasn't a piece of paper in Louis' hand but a rag, and that some sort of liquid was spilled all over the center console.

"What the frak did you do?" Felix asked him.

"Knocked over my thermos. It was full, too," Louis griped. "Colonel Tigh's already reprimanded me for it. What's up?"

Felix couldn't help but laugh. He knew Louis' coffee addiction would get the best of him eventually.

After Louis started glaring at him, Felix composed himself and handed the pictures he had left to Louis. "These were up on the memorial wall. I thought you might want them, or at least know what to do with them."

Louis took the pictures from Felix's hand and began to flip through them. His flipping got slower as he realized just what he was looking at. "I um. Thanks. For these. I'd forgotten about some of these people, honestly. It's nice to have the reminder. You know, that they didn't die for nothing." Louis took the pictures and slipped them into his jacket pocket.

Felix sensed that was all Louis wanted to say to that end, as he'd gotten about the same reaction from everyone else. Since he didn't have anyplace better to go, he decided to change the subject. "Could you use a little help with that?" he asked.

Louis tossed him a dry rag. "Knock yourself out."

***

Louis and Felix had just finished cleaning up when Colonel Tigh entered the room.

"Alright, listen up," he barked. "The Admiral's organizing a mission to the cylon colony. Our objectives will be to rescue Hera Agathon and to destroy as many toasters as possible. This is volunteer only, but don't get any ideas in your head about being a hero. This isn't some baseship we're taking on. Not everybody's coming back from this one."

Felix couldn't believe it. The Admiral had finally gotten the good sense to go after Hera. What had finally changed his mind, Felix didn't know, but he was grateful for whatever it was.

Tigh, now at the center console, continued addressing the CIC. "Everyone has to make their own choice. And they have to do it person. The Old Man is waiting on the hangar deck. Set import watch until you get back. Watchkeepers report to the Admiral's quarters to declare yourselves in person. Move!"

The CIC began emptying out. Apparently the Admiral really meant business on this one, if he wanted an in person commitment.

Louis and Felix followed Tigh out. "Know what you're going to do?" Tigh asked the two of them.

"Absolutely, Sir," Felix responded enthusiastically, the choice not one he had to think about for even a second.

"Pretty sure, Sir," replied Louis. Felix glared at him. Louis damn well better being going along, or Felix was going to kick his ass.

"Well take your time. Takes approximately four minutes to get down there."

For Felix, it was almost four minutes too long.

***

The hangar deck was already packed when they arrived. Virtually everyone on _Galactica_ was there, which, as it turned out, wasn't very many people anymore. Felix spotted Caprica milling about, and Helo was already waiting at the front of the pack impatiently. Sharon was standing next to him, but she seemed still lost in her grief. Felix made his way through the crowd to stand next to the Agathons. Helo nodded, but didn't say anything. It was obvious he wanted to get this done as quickly as possible so that they could go.

A ladder designed for boarding vipers had been stationed in front of the airlock door. The second Adama started ascending it, the entire deck went completely silent. Once he'd reached the top and had surveyed the crowd, he began speaking.

"No one should feel obligated to join this mission, in any way. This is a decision I have made for myself. If it turns out that there are not enough personnel to crew _Galactica_ , I will lead a raptor assault with anyone who is willing to join me. Let there be no illusions. This is likely to be a one way trip. So don't volunteer out of sentiment or emotion. There is a line running down this deck."

Adama moved his arm indicating a central line. The crowd parted ways to observe it. Felix could see past Helo where a line of red industrial tape had been stuck to the floor.

"Volunteers move to the starboard side. Everyone else to the port."

Adama then climbed down off the ladder.

"Make your choice."

Felix was already on the starboard side, so he planted his feet firmly and vowed not to move from his spot. Most people seemed hesitant: no one wanted to be the first to cross the line one way or the another. Then Lee, pinstripe suit and all, decided to make the first move. It didn't surprise Felix that Tigh was immediately next.

Out of the corner of his eye, Felix saw Hot Dog cross, and he was instantly reminded of their efforts earlier that day. Cottle attempted to cross, but was held back by Adama. Felix knew it must have killed him inside. Felix glanced over at Louis. He hadn't moved from his position on the starboard side either, and he looked a lot more sure of himself now.

Felix was a little surprised when Caprica was the next to step across to starboard and came to join Felix. "Don't looked shocked Felix," she said. "I figured out why you stayed. And those things are why I'm fighting with these people." Felix hadn't seen just when she'd become one of the fleet, but looking at it now, he supposed it had happened some time ago. And when he thought about what she said, it didn't surprise him at all that she'd stepped across.

No one had yet moved to the port, though Felix knew they couldn't have all wanted to stay. No one wanted to be the first to chicken out, perhaps. When a group of marines all moved starboard together however, Felix caught someone sneaking across to port. That seemed to do it, and the movement both ways started to increase exponentially.

Roslin came to join them, and Felix suddenly felt bad about being frustrated that she'd been in hiding. She looked awful. Dying. The Admiral had to help walk her up to the front, and Starbuck had to hold her up. What she expected to be able to do was beyond Felix's realm of comprehension, but it was still good to know she hadn't given up on the fleet like he'd thought.

When everyone had finished moving, the number on the starboard side was quite small. It must have been less than a hundred, just barely enough to crew _Galactica_ , and even then at bare bones minimum. Hopefully some of the prisoners on the _Astral Queen_ had changed their mind and were coming to join them. Otherwise, suicide mission wasn't just a likelihood, it was a guarantee.

But really, of all the ways to go out, blowing the colony to hell had to be one of the best.


	22. Chapter 22

Planning for the mission began as soon as Racetrack and Skulls got back from recon. Felix and Louis were left out of the initial briefing, which seemed like an awfully stupid idea to Felix. The two of them were the best tacticians the fleet had, they were practically mission critical.

Waiting was excruciating. As intel began to trickle in, Felix got even more anxious. When the brass did come back to the CIC, Felix practically jumped to his feet to start on preparations.

Only eleven members of the CIC staff had decided to stay, including the Admiral, Colonel Tigh, Felix, and Louis. All eleven of them gathered around the center console for the preliminary mission briefing. From the looks of their thin staff, it was going to be quick. "Alright crew. Here's this how this is going to work. Marines, pilots, and deck crew all know their jobs, and they know how to do them. Once we jump in, the main objective in CIC will be to do as much damage to the colony as we can. We'll be in too close for nukes, same thing goes for missiles. No, this is gonna be strictly a gun battle, like two old ships on the line, slugging it out at point blank range. I want the gun captains to do their job and start firing immediately and to continue to fire until they run out of ammo. Then, I want them to start throwin' rocks." The Admiral smirked, though Felix had the feeling he was completely serious. Maybe not rocks perhaps, but there was a lot of spare junk you could stuff in a gun barrel.

The briefing continued for another twenty minutes, going over mundane details such as jump coordinates and rendezvous directions. Then Felix spotted something large being brought in to the CIC.

The Admiral apparently noticed it as well. "Mr. Anders is going to attempt to communicate with the colony's hybrids, to see if we can get them to stop shooting at us. He's being hooked up in the CIC, in order to give us a fighting chance. I know some of you aren't going to like it. I don't like it either. But it's the best we've got."

Not going to like it was right. Hybrids were for baseships, a truly cylon way of doing things. Hooking one up to _Galactica_ , even if it was Sam, simply felt wrong. It was sickening. If this was the way they had to do it, fine, just so long as they unhooked him and put him back wherever he'd been afterwards. _Galactica_ wasn't a cylon ship, that was what gave it all its glory. To take it all apart seemed bad enough, but this, this was desecration. Felix couldn't bear to watch.

A few of the skinjobs from the baseship had started stringing gooey wires across the CIC when the Admiral broke apart the briefing and sent everyone to their stations.

"Lieutenant Hoshi," said Adama. "Can I speak to you alone for a moment please?"

"Aye, Sir," replied Louis, following Adama out into the hall.

"Gaeta, come with me," said Tigh. Tigh led the way out of the CIC, and Felix followed behind. It seemed odd they would purposely split the two of them up for final details, but perhaps it was a precautionary measure. If one of them were to get captured…well, then again, if the cylons made their way into the CIC, the mission was pretty well frakked anyway. However, he was sure there was a reason.

The direction they were headed was toward the situation room, but they never made it there. Tigh stopped abruptly in the middle of the hallway not far from the CIC.

"You plan to finish briefing me here, Sir?" Felix asked.

"You're not going on the mission," said Tigh.

"I- what?" Felix was speechless. "Why?"

"Somebody's gotta run this fleet if we don't make it back. You think I'd trust this fleet to a bunch of civvies? Not on your life," explained Tigh. Felix didn't get it. There had been plenty of military personnel who declined to volunteer.

"Lieutenant, the Admiral wants people he can trust to lead this fleet to whatever planet you can find. He's not going to name someone who wasn't willing to put their life on the line, he wants someone loyal and someone with guts. He's naming Hoshi as your new Admiral."

Louis, Admiral. Now that wasn't something he expected to hear. Although at least it made more sense than Lee being president.

"And I think you know why I'm talking to you." Colonel Tigh paused, and took his Colonel's pins off his collar. That was when Felix realized what he was doing out here. He was getting those pins.

"An XO needs to be someone who knows how to keep everyone in line and when to call the Admiral on his bullshit. He doesn't put up with any crap and he can operate a ship if he has to. I've told you before, you've got guts and you know how to use them. Personally I don't think there's anyone better out there for this job. These are yours." Tigh handed Felix his Colonel's pins. Felix never would have imagined he'd be doing this. From enemy prisoner to second in command all in the span of a year. He was honored.

"Thank you, Colonel," said Felix.

"You're the Colonel now," replied Tigh. "Get used to that."

"I will, Sir. Good hunting" said Felix. He saluted Tigh, who saluted him right back.

"Good hunting Colonel," said Tigh. It sounded strange, to have Tigh address him that way. He and Tigh were equals now, something he hadn't ever pictured.

Oddly enough, Felix seemed to like it.

***

Of course, there was one very big hitch about being the fleet's XO. His boyfriend was now his direct superior.

"Hello Colonel," said Louis, as the two of them met up at their racks to collect their things. A toothy grin spread across Louis' face after he'd said it.

Felix wasn't sure whether to salute him or smack him. He opted for salute at the moment, though it was rather half-hearted.

"Oh please, Felix. You don't have to salute me now. It's just the two of us," said Louis.

Well, that answered that. "Does that mean I can't call you Admiral in bed?" replied Felix with a cheesy grin.

Louis smacked him playfully.

"Guess we better go, before they think we've chickened out and have to appoint someone else," said Louis.

Felix grabbed his bag and threw it over his shoulder. He took one last look over the room. It was the last time he'd be here, he was sure. He'd miss it, although having a big comfortable bed would be nice for a change. He debated for a second changing his mind, and telling the Colonel he was damn well going on that mission no matter what they asked him, but ultimately wiped the thought from his mind. Something about this just felt right. Going to the baseship didn't seem quite so bad anymore.

"Let's get out of here," said Felix. They made their way out of the room, and Felix shut the hatch door for good. It was time for the next step forward.

***

The very last raptor that wasn't designated for the mission had been reserved for them and any last stragglers looking to jump ship. A few women Felix recognized as some of Baltar's cultists were loading in, and Baltar's old lawyer, Romo, was headed towards the raptor with Lee Adama. Gaius was on the hangar deck as well, but looked like he was still debating whether to stay or go. He hadn't crossed the line earlier, and Felix doubted he really had the spine to stay. Nevertheless, he hadn't yet jumped aboard.

"Admiral Hoshi Sir," Lee greeted, extending a hand to Louis.

"Sir," replied Louis, accepting.

"Uh, the sir has…" Lee had to remind him. Felix probably would have done the same thing if Lee had greeted him first.

"Right," said Louis with a grin.

"Colonel Gaeta," said Lee, offering his hand to Felix.

"Captain," he acknowledged. It seemed much more natural than Mister President, a sign that things were back to normal. Besides the fact that Felix was now a Colonel, that is. "Good hunting."

"You too, Sir," replied Lee.

Felix and Louis climbed aboard the raptor behind Romo. They hadn't made it in completely when it became apparent they were being afforded a bigger send off than just the one from Lee.

"President of the Colonies. Admiral and XO of the fleet. Departing." Lee saluted the three of them. The marines, deck hands, and pilots behind him followed suit. Felix saluted back. It was an honor, but at the same time heartbreaking. He wasn't staying. _Galactica_ was going on its final mission without him. He wasn't going to be a part of the final chapter, that honor was going to those who were staying. That, to Felix, felt like the bigger honor.

"Alright, last raptor out people, last raptor out!" shouted Lee to the rest of the deck. "Anyone left behind, your ass belongs to us."

From inside the raptor, Felix could see Baltar approaching. Gaius stepped onto the ship and handed over a box, likely the remainder of his things.

"Listen, I'm not coming with you," Felix heard him say. Felix felt just about as shocked as the cultist in front of him appeared to be. Gaius heard him address the cultist, but he didn't say why he was staying, merely that he was.

"Pilot, you have your passengers," said Gaius, before jumping off the ship.

It was the first time, at least in a long while, that Felix could very honestly say that he was proud of Dr. Baltar. He wouldn't have predicted it two years ago, but it turned out Gaius was capable of simply doing the right thing after all.

The raptor door began to close, and the pilots spooled up the raptor's engines. This was it. This would likely be the last time Felix ever saw _Galactica_. Perhaps this is what it would have felt like had _Galactica_ ever made it into a museum. Though at least then, he knew he was being transferred to another battlestar. Now, he had no idea what lie ahead. He wasn't afraid to admit that that scared him.

As the airlock door opened and Felix could see out into space, it finally felt sealed. His home, the only home he'd ever truly had, was leaving. Felix felt the tears starting to well up in his eyes.

Felix was still staring off into space, but he felt Louis put an arm around him. "Hey," Louis whispered. "It's alright. It's not the end of the world."

Felix smiled, even though he knew he was crying. "That was four years ago, wasn't it?" he joked.

"Yeah, something like that," Louis replied.

The launch button was pushed, and their raptor shot out into space. Felix was now no longer a part of _Galactica_ 's crew. He tried not to think about all the memories he'd made on the ship, or all the people that mattered so much to him. It was all too much, too much to be leaving behind. Felix just kept his eyes on the stars.

***

When they reached the command center of the baseship, Felix could see that the human crew had already been set up with stations, and preparations for the continuation of their journey were already underway. The cylons were busy trying to instruct the crew of _Galactica_ 's CIC in the use of baseship technology, much to the evident confusion of the human staff.

"Admiral on deck," reported a Two. All of the command staff, human and cylon, snapped to attention and saluted. Felix saluted as well, even though he'd come in with Louis. It was going to take him a while to get used to these formalities.

"As you were," said Louis. Louis looked around the room, not really sure what he was supposed to do next or where he was supposed to go.

"Admiral, we've got a connection to _Galactica_ ," indicated a Six, who had her hand in a data bank at the central console. That was likely their new command station. It'd need some modifications, given that right now it was nothing but a large data bank, completely unusable for Louis.

Louis and Felix approached the Six. "Um. Where's the comm relay?" Louis asked, staring at the flow of the data current under the goo in the console.

"It's right here," replied the Six, as if the fact was obvious. "Just let me know when you're ready and I'll put you through. Then you can just start talking."

"Okay," replied Louis tentatively. The Six closed her eyes, a completely unnecessary habit of the Sixes when accessing the data stream, and the data bank lit up a little brighter.

"Baseship, this is _Galactica_ actual," came Adama's voice over the line.

" _Galactica_ , baseship actual." That sounded weird, in more ways than one. "Flag has been transferred to the baseship and our vipers are ready to take over CAP duties for the fleet."

"Roger that baseship, you have the CAP. Safe journey," Felix heard Tigh say.

"Godspeed _Galactica_. Safe journey." Louis sounded like he was getting choked up. Then again, it could have just been nerves. Felix decided to double check.

"I thought you still considered _Pegasus_ home," he prompted.

"You know, I've grown fond of the old bucket. I'm gonna miss it." Louis really was gonna cry. It was sweet, nice to know something had pulled him in once and for all.

"Buck up, Admiral," Felix ordered with a grin. "We've got work to do."

"Right," replied Louis, then turned his attention to the rest of the command center. "Transmit jump coordinates to all civilian ships. Prepare to jump on my command."

In the center of the console, what Felix had thought to be just empty space, a picture of DRADIS popped up. At least they had made some modifications. Felix could see _Galactica_ on the screen, stationary as the rest of the fleet moved away.

"Civilian ships have their coordinates, ready for jump sequence," relayed an officer.

"Jump on my command," ordered Louis. "Three. Two. One. Jump."

"Report," ordered Louis, once they had come out on the other side.

DRADIS blinked as the coordinates designating civilian ships began showing up one by one. Felix counted them up.

"All ships present and accounted for," he said.

All but one.


	23. Chapter 23

Eight hours later, Felix had decided he was nominating Louis for best Admiral ever. After the jump, Louis had declared that everyone get some rest, so that they'd be prepared to relieve _Galactica_ staff when they got back. Felix and Louis had decided to use the time to break in their new queen-sized bed with silk sheets and large fluffy pillows, a gift from the cylons to the new fleet Admiral. Two seconds after lying on it, Felix decided that maybe living on a baseship again wouldn't be so bad after all.

"We should probably get up," suggested Louis.

"Probably," mumbled Felix into his pillow. "But I like this bed too much to move."

"Such are the joys of being in command. Having nice amenities you don't have time to use," said Louis. "Now get up. _Galactica_ should be back soon."

Well, maybe Louis wasn't the _best_ Admiral ever. But another hour of luxurious sleep might have benefited his credentials. If Louis could figure out a way to get the cylons to manufacture such beds for everyone, that would be even better. Given everything they'd been through in the past four years, Felix figured the fleet could use a long restful night's sleep. That, and a planet would be nice too.

The command center was quiet when Felix and Louis arrived back there. Nothing was going on, just the monitoring of routine shuttle traffic across the fleet. No word had been heard from _Galactica_ , with approximately four hours left to go. There was nothing anyone could do but sit and wait.

***

An hour passed by, then two, then three. Felix was starting to get worried. He'd really hoped being in command on the baseship wouldn't be permanent, amazing beds and all, but it was beginning to look like it might be.

Forty five minutes left on the clock, and Felix was sweating bullets. They were calling it close. Much too close for Felix's liking.

Thirty minutes. Twenty nine minutes and fifty nine seconds. Fifty eight. Felix was watching the hands on his watch tick away. Half an hour until they'd be forced to just go on without _Galactica_. Every second that passed by was excruciating.

Then Felix spotted something on DRADIS. At first he thought it was just his imagination, simply willing that _Galactica_ suddenly be there. Then verification codes came in: it wasn't _Galactica_ , it was raptor. But something was really there.

"Admiral, we've got DRADIS contact!" Felix exclaimed. "Bearing, three two three, karem four six niner. Raptor, inbound."

"Admiral, we're getting an incoming transmission," reported an Eight.

"Put them on speaker," ordered Louis.

"Baseship, this is Adama." Cheers erupted in the command center. XO or not, Felix was one of the ones cheering.

"Adama, this is baseship actual," responded Louis. "It's good to hear from you."

"It's good to be back. But I think you're going to like what I have to tell you even better."

***

"Wow. Talk about finding a needle in a haystack," said Felix. He couldn't believe _Galactica_ had just happened upon this place. It was lush, it was green, it was _livable_. And now, it was home. It wasn't a bad place to finally settle down.

"Tell me about it," replied Louis. "It's even nicer than some of the colonies. Exponentially better than New Caprica."

Felix looked down at his toes. Grass. Real soil under his feet. Metal had been familiar, but this was nice. He could get used to this.

"Not bad, eh, guys?" asked Romo. "I think we could charter up a nice little settlement here."

"We've got a raptor doing some surveying now," said Louis. "They're looking to find a good place to set up camp, somewhere with ample resources and sturdy ground."

Louis wasn't Admiral anymore, but he was still directing the survey process. He'd wanted to, just the prospect of this beautiful new planet made him excited to get started on their new life. Felix couldn't blame him.

"Ah, Mr. Adama," said Romo, greeting Lee as he approached. "What do you think of this lovely new planet we've got?"

Lee looked around and took in a deep breath of the crisp, clean air. "It's a nice place to call home," said Lee. Felix couldn't have agreed more.

"Just think," said Louis. "Once we've got a city erected-"

"No," Lee interrupted. "No city. Not this time."

"What do you propose we do?" asked Romo.

Lee looked off into the distance, pondering something beyond the horizon. "Break the cycle. We leave it all behind and start over. No more computers, no more technology. Just…all of us, in this place. Starting a new life."

Romo and Louis looked a little puzzled. Felix raised an eyebrow in awe, wondering if Lee could _possibly_ be serious.

"Nothing but the clothes on our backs and the wind at our feet. The possibilities are endless." Oh gods, he was. Someone had really appointed this guy president?

"Are you an _idiot_!?!" exclaimed Felix. "How the frak are we supposed to survive without any medical supplies, without anything to tell us what's edible and what's not, without anything to prevent us from getting hypothermia at night or skin cancer during the day? All this food and you expect us not to be able to cook any of it? No computers, fine, but if you think we're going to last more than a day with only the clothes on our backs, you're out of your frakking _mind_."

"I think you'd be surprised that some people might like the idea Lieutenant," replied Lee, apparently somehow unfazed by Felix's entire argument.

"I think you'd be surprised how impressionable people can get when they have cabin fever," countered Felix. "Last time, everyone decided New Caprica was a good idea. You know how that turned out."

"I'll run it by the people," said Lee. He walked off, contemplating the landscape. Humanity was going to be doomed if they listened to him.

"Louis," said Felix. "You know all those nice things I'd been thinking about Lee lately?"

"Um. Nice things?" answered Louis.

"Forget I ever thought them. He's a moron."

***

Humanity maybe wasn't doomed entirely, but things weren't working out quite like Felix had pictured. About half of the fleet had failed to see the stupidity in Lee's plan, while the other half at least still had some sense. Since a fifty-fifty split wasn't good enough to force anyone to comply to the plans of the other, they'd decided to go their separate ways: the half who wanted to live like primitives would stay here, and the other half would find someplace else to call home. It was a huge planet, there was more than enough space to accommodate both divisions.

Surprisingly, all the cylons from the baseship had voted along with Lee. It seemed odd that they, of anyone, would be tired of technology, given that they _were_ technology. Felix didn't have any problem with their decision though; at least he'd never have to deal with them again.

The one major downside was that hardly any of Felix's friends seemed to want to come with his contingent. Cottle was going on the basis of medical opinion alone, but no one else wanted to be convinced.

"It's nice here Felix," explained Helo. "We're tired of obligations, of living up to some prophetic standard, of trying to prove ourselves on a daily basis. Here we can just be a family, be together. I know you don't think it's a good idea. But practicality isn't our only concern anymore."

Felix would have argued, but he had the feeling Helo wouldn't have listened. The man had been through enough, he and Sharon both had, that if this was what they really wanted, Felix wouldn't try to deny them that right. So Felix simply wished them well, gave them one final hug, and bid them goodbye one final time.

Felix didn't know why Tigh was staying, and Tigh didn't even seem to know himself. He just was.

"I thought you might want these back," said Felix, handing over the Colonel pins. There wasn't much of a practical point, since the military was now disbanded, but Felix felt the pins really belonged to Tigh and not to him. Tigh deserved to be the one to keep them.

"Took you long enough. Your boyfriend handed over the Admiral pins a long time ago."

Felix smirked. Louis had been more than eager to get rid of those pins the second Adama had stepped on the baseship. He hadn't wanted the responsibility of leading the fleet and didn't feel ready for it, even though Felix knew he would have stepped up just fine had it come to that.

"I enjoyed the power trip, Sir," replied Felix with a grin.

"Yeah well, I'm glad you got your fun out of it," said Tigh sarcastically.

Felix went to shake his hand, but was surprised by a hug instead. "Good luck Gaeta," said Tigh.

"You too, Sir."

Felix watched as Tigh went to join Ellen, knowing it'd be the last he'd ever see of them.

As for Caprica, once Felix saw who she was with, it didn't surprise him at all that she'd want to start things anew.

"Gaius?" Felix asked her.

"I know," she said smiling. "But he's changed. I've changed. I think it's going to work this time. It just feels right." Having seen Gaius stay behind on _Galactica_ , Felix could believe her.

"It's been nice having you around. I'm gonna miss you," Felix said.

"I'll miss you too. Thank you, for everything you've done. You're a wonderful friend."

Felix hugged her, and wished her luck and goodbye.

As Felix boarded the raptor, he waved to everyone he could see standing there bidding him adieu. The raptor door closed, though Felix continued to watch out the window until they were too high to see his friends anymore. Whatever might become of them, his friends that he'd made over the past two years, Felix knew they'd at least be happy.

***

The raptor alit on an area not nearly as grassy as the first, but just as, if not more, beautiful. In front of them, a line of forest in the distance, below them, a plain, covered in short grasses.

"I picked it out myself," said Louis, leaning over Felix's shoulder. "I think you'll like it."

"Well, it looks nice. It's certainly habitable," remarked Felix.

"Just wait til you see the view behind us," said Louis with a grin.

The two of them stepped out of the raptor, and Felix turned around to see what was behind them. Louis hadn't been lying. There stood a vast ocean, with the most incredible white sand beach Felix had ever seen. Felix couldn't help himself, he kicked off his boots and socks, and walked out onto the beach to stick his toes in the sand.

"Well, what do you think?" said Louis, coming up behind him and putting an arm over his shoulder.

"It's amazing. We're staying, right?" asked Felix.

"Oh absolutely!" cried Louis. "I was thinking we could build a house right over there, get married, have kids, start our own business-"

"Whoa, slow down!" exclaimed Felix, laughing at Louis' eagerness. "We don't have to do everything at once! Let's just start at the house thing okay?"

Louis leaned over and kissed him. "Whatever you want, baby. We've got all the time in the world."

It'd been a long journey to get here. Too long, some might have argued. Although Felix's journey began on New Caprica and not on the Colonies, it had been no less arduous, filled with the highest of highs and lowest of lows. But surveying their new home, Felix knew it had been worth the struggle. It wasn't about the beach, or the open sky, or the lush vegetation, though all those things were nice. It was because here, he was finally, truly free. Here, on the planet with no name, Felix wasn't crushed by the weight of his burdens, he wasn't out to prove anything, he didn't need to find a way to fit in. It didn't even matter that he was a cylon anymore; this vast planet didn't know the difference. He was just Felix.

This wasn't the end of the road. It was the beginning of whatever they wanted it to be. Whatever lie ahead of him now, Felix couldn't wait.


End file.
